Chapter 2
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Days went by, and in each one, the interval between the moments she spent reliving memories grew. The days turned into weeks, which turned into months. She thought about him sparingly, her memories private. Yet time moved on, the memories faded. He was no longer the name that trembled on her lips, the arms she wanted to run into when her world felt as though it were falling apart. Or so she told herself every waking hour. He lived in her dreams; she could never forget. Andrei annoyed her. She had always known it, but he had been a good excuse for hiding from her true feelings. What had she seen in him? She didn�t know. She�d had enough. The icing on the cake had been catching him with a younger female student. He had very quickly become another closed chapter in her life. The invitation arrived in the mail, almost sickening to her in all it�s finery. She threw it out. It was an even she couldn�t handle. He called - once, twice, she lost track of how often. She erased the messages, ignoring the silent, forlorn plea in his tone. She didn�t want to deal with the hurt� couldn�t deal with it. The day arrived and passed. She ignored it, choosing to keep busy, doing anything and everything to keep it from her subconscious. The night was passed in a drunken stupor. She chose to tour with Stars On Ice, appearing to enjoy both the guest stops through out the States, and the Canadian tour in itself. She skated alone. No one could take his place. She laughed. She smiled. On the surface, she appeared happy, adjusted to the new ways. She wasn�t. She missed him. The day to day routine wasn�t nearly as fun without him. There was no longer a team effort, no one to share the joys of achievement, or the pains of failure, no one to share with her the private jokes and quiet laughs. She felt oddly isolated when she stood at centre ice. She loved to skate, she always would. Yet she felt as though it were her against the world. Alone. Completely, utterly alone. She returned home for the summer, not to Connecticut where she had remained the year before, but home, to Ontario. She began to teach, dealing more and more with younger skaters, searching for a sense of fulfillment. She fought the memories, the ones they had created in the rink together. She didn�t want to remember. She seemed destined to love someone who would never lover her. Yes love, she admitted to herself. There was no longer any point in denying what her heart knew as the truth. In the twelve years that they had been a team, he had grown from partner, to friend� to so much more. Yet more was something she could never have. He belonged to someone else. She settled into a quiet life in Ontario, occasionally doing the odd show, but more and more, she was keeping to herself, staying out of the public eye. Her students became her focus, her coaching all she needed. She had a good life, a fact she knew well� but it could never be enough. It just couldn�t be. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~ She hid away in her office, staring at the envelope she held between trembling fingers. There was no indication of who it had come from. But she knew. There was no mistaking that writing. Three years had passed. Three years since he had held her in his arms on last time. Three years. It felt like a lifetime. He belonged to someone else. Yet the letter rested in her fingertips. She gulped, audibly. It was like seeing a ghost, for she had tried so hard to put him behind her. He was never the less a welcome ghost. Carefully, she ripped the top of the envelope, spilling it�s contents into her lap. She took another deep breath, trying to calm her fluttering heart, before lifting his letter into her hands. For a moment, the words blurred, and she blinked quickly, trying to clear the mist from her eyes. She read on. Dear Allison, It�s been so long since we last spoke. It must seem odd to you, to be receiving a letter from me after all this time. I�ve never stopped thinking of you though - after 12 years, I don�t think I ever could. I don�t particularly know why I�m writing this� I only know that I miss you. I miss you so much, Allison. Not a day goes by, when your image doesn�t cross my mind, when I don�t remember some the wonderful moments we shared. I married Maija, as I�m sure you know. I wish you had been there. Sometimes, I wonder if that wasn�t the biggest mistake that I�ve ever made. She and I are so different. I guess you could say that things aren�t going so well. That would be an understatement, truthfully. Things are - well, never mind that. I miss you. More than ever. I� I�ll be in Chathum, in two weeks. I�m staying at the Traveller�s Lodge. If you have any extra time, I would love to see you. It�s been too long. You know, I asked myself often if Maija wasn�t the biggest mistake I ever made� and then I realized she wasn�t. The biggest mistake I ever made, was in letting you go. I�m sorry. Yours, Dominic The tears tumbled off her lashes, her breath coming in ragged sobs. Her mind was filled with emotion� shock� fear, hurt� love. �Dominic�� She whispered to the silent empty room. �Dear Lord� Nick. What on earth am I going to do?�
