by Dylan Fain
CHARACTERS:
Kevin: Early 20s. Caucasian. Tall.
Johnny: Early 20s. Puerto Rican. Married to Maria.
Maria: Early 20s. Ecuadorian. Married to Johnny.
Dustin: Imaginary version of Kevin.
Juan: Imaginary version of Johnny.
SETTING:
A New York City one-bedroom apartment. The present.
ACT ONE
Lights come up on the living room of a one-bedroom apartment. There is a futon center stage. Stage right of the futon is a smaller couch that is angled between facing off stage left and facing the audience. Both couches have a blanket draped over one side and two pillows. Centered on the stage between the two couches is a rug. The rug is monochromatic and worn. Stage left of the futon, down stage, is a computer desk with a closed lap top on it. Behind the desk is a rolling computer chair that is missing an arm. Opposite of this desk�downstage right�are two folding, non-descript chairs.
When the lights come up, Kevin is sitting in the computer chair thinking. The futon is open into a bed and Maria and Johnny are sleeping. In the two chairs stage right are Dustin and Juan. They are asleep.
Kevin opens the laptop and sighs. He takes a deep breath. He begins typing. Dustin and Juan begin to awaken. They slowly get up and take down center stage. Kevin continues to type.
Dustin looks straight out over the audience.
Dustin: Dustin is a tall male with brown hair. He is mildly attractive but very distinct.
Juan: Huh?
Dustin: Juan is Puerto Rican and shorter than Dustin.
Juan: Who are you talking to?
Dustin turns to Juan as he breaks into character.
Dustin: Are you staying tonight?
Juan: Why?
Dustin: I was just wondering.
Juan: Maybe.
Dustin: Ok. You�I have to tell you something.
Juan: Huh?
Dustin: I have to tell you something.
Juan: Ok, what?
Dustin: I think I love you.
Juan: What?
Dustin: I�m sorry.
Juan: Why are you sorry?
Dustin: I guess I�m not sorry.
Juan: Okay.
Dustin: You kind of scare me.
Juan: Me? Don�t be stupid.
Dustin: I�m not stupid.
Juan: No, I know, look�what�s going on?
Dustin: I�m not sure.
Juan: This feels weird.
Dustin: I know. It feels scary.
Dustin turns to Juan and puts his hand on his shoulder.
Juan: Yeah, kinda scary.
Dustin: Yeah.
Dustin and Juan lock eyes.
Dustin: I don�t know what I�m doing.
Juan: What?
Dustin: I don�t know what I�m doing.
Juan: I can�t hear you.
Kevin, who has been typing since he began, closes his laptop in frustration. As he does this, Dustin and Juan freeze.
Kevin: I don�t know what I�m doing.