crush/infatuation: that strong, undeniable sense of being inexplicably drawn to someone...you don't know why it happens, but when it does, all rational thought goes flying clear out the window and sometimes we do the stupidest things on earth in an effort to have the feelings reciprocated.
i have to admit that i've had quite a few crushes over the years (secret of course - god forbid anyone should think i'm a LESBIAN or something!!!). the most memorable of my crushes would be my first, otherwise there'd be no point in posting this hahaha...i digress...my first crush, aside from being a woman (noooo...how could that be?!), was also my english/drama teacher in my first year of high school.
i was twelve, pretty clueless about my sexuality, and had absolutely no clue how hard i would fall. i don't know what made her so special, all i knew is that she was absolutely gorgeous and i wanted to spend all my time with her. naturally i got to spend a good amount of time in her presence (she was my teacher after all) but it wasn't enough for me, i tried looking for excuses to stay after class just to talk with her for a few minutes about anything at all...oh hell, blah bitty blah, the whole story would be too mind-numbingly boring.
i know. you want to know what stupid thing i did to get her attention, huh? it goes a lil sumpin like this......
at the end of year nine, my wonderful teacher was transferred to a different school. i of course was heart broken, i couldn't live without her! how could she leave me?! so i begged her to take me with her...we could live together and be happy the rest of our days! (i didn't really say that...at least i hope i didn't...but the sentiment was the same). needless to say it didn't happen and life went on.
overall i guess she took the whole thing well, we're still in contact today, and while i don't have the same feelings i used to, there is still something about her that affects the ol' heart strings. i guess that's why first crushes are always so memorable.
