28th September 2005
The Hunter
"Now, now, Sparky, calm down," soothed Wendoline. "My volcano - I like that, my volcano - is not going anywhere. Curiosity has always got the better of humans, we've got to find out about these footprints. They might belong to something we can eat. No offence Chef Cloud, but I'm getting sick of peas. I know I've had them b'fo, but I've also had them b'fo that and again b'fo that!"
"Curiosity killed the cat," said Keir. Amongst the party, he was the only one looking nervous. However, the spirit of exploration was so high that everyone else took no notice of his mood.
"Alright then, let's go and find this beastie," conceded Sparky. "Maybe I'll be able to find some of that action I've been complaining about the lack of."
The explorers turned left to follow the enigmatic footprints off around the base of the volcano. Tuta, exalted that everyone had elected to follow his idea, lead the way, pose crouched and spear at the ready. The rest of the party draggled on behind. Bluebeard, mounted still on Fluffy, took up the rear, so that Fluffy wouldn't scatter the elusive spore and ruin the hunt.
The trail led them on around the mountain, through terrain both beautiful and alien. Although on their left the jungle was thick, the path they were following seemed to be large and well worn. After a few hours (or was it minutes, or days?) someone decided it was lunch time, most likely Cloud, who wasn't sure just how the prospect of meat would impact on his culinary career. Although proficient with fruit and vegetables, somewhat an expert on peas (he'd had peas b'fo) and also experimenting successfully with jam, his cooking experience with meat was rather short, not counting that rather dreadful incident with Ghostie, the large fire and a greased spit, which he'd rather forget. Besides, it wasn't his fault; it was dark after all.
The party was gathered around, munching on fruit and vegetables and nuts and bananas and peas, chatting amiably with an air of excitement at the coming animalistic discovery. The sun was dimming behind some clouds, offering some fresh cool air after the monotonous, endless heat. The Captain, Simon, Beth, Fredster and Sparky were broaching a new sack of the home brew, Bluebeard was swapping maritime stories with Beck and Spare Bee while Fluffy grazed nearby, Fabienne and Stu were practicing for their next pole dancing recital, Andrew and Jenn, giggling together, were surreptitiously edging towards a dark, secluded cave, and Penny was looking at a new palm frond she'd found, wondering aloud about its sliding properties.
Suddenly Tuta, who had been crouching near the jungle's edge with a look of brooding concentration, jumped up. "There's something moving out there!" he announced, and, spear at the ready, darted off into the foliage.
"I wonder what's bitten him?" asked Aimi.
"Maybe he's finally found a pig," said Klariza.
"Ha ha! He'll probably return with a hedgehog," laughed Sparky. "The mighty hunter with his first kill!"
"Argh," interjected Bluebeard, "the boy knows nothing of the real hunt! The white whale, I tells ye, the white whale. . ."
There was a slight rumble in the ground, but no one paid it any heed except Larry, who was starting to join Keir in his nervousness. "Um, did anybody notice that. . ."
"Penny!" exclaimed Jen ze Bobcat, "let me have a look at that leaf!"
Larry was staring at a coconut shell full of water, lying on the rock next to him. Suddenly it rippled.
"This shouldn't be here," said Jen ze Bobcat, examining the palm frond. "This shouldn't be here."
The water in the coconut shell rippled again. This time, the slight tremor in the ground was enough for everybody to notice. As most eyes were already on Jen ze Bobcat after her strange announcement, they soon noticed Larry sitting next to her, and the object of his intense stare.
The water rippled again, as the sun moved behind thick cloud and the clearing darkened, sending shivers up everyone's spines. In the distance a rumble of thunder was heard. The water rippled yet again.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhh!" The terrified shriek came from the jungle. Tuta came running out of the jungle faster than anyone believed he was capable of, the look on his face suggesting the very furies themselves were after him. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhh!"
"Looks like he found his hedgehog," laughed Sparky. "What scared you, mighty hunter?" He grinned at Tuta, just as the rain started to fall. But Tuta didn't even stop, ran straight past and back down the trail which had brought them here.
Suddenly a large creature smashed through the foliage into the clearing. In the darkness, all the party could sense was something large, stopped dead still now as it realised there were a group of other bodies around it. Just before panic could settle in, there came a flash of lightning.
That brief instant of light revealed a truly terrible sight. The creature stood about ten feet tall, shiny green in colour with a flash of red on its chest. Its body rested horizontally, with its tail protruding almost straight back from its elongated trunk, its neck jutting forward. On the end of that neck was a head full of teeth, and a pair of cold yellow eyes below scaly ridges. Its skinny forearms were bent at the elbow in front of it, and on the end of each large, muscular hind leg was an enormous, sickle shaped claw.
"It's a velociraptor!" screamed Keir. "A fast thief! I told you, I told you!"
Keir's voice acting as a catalyst, the next instant all was chaos, as the party scattered in every direction, stumbling and falling in the darkness, screams of terror punctuated by the short, barking roars of the dinosaur and the deep sonorous boom of the thunder. Flashes of lightning lit up the scene intermittently, revealing first that someone had been caught by the raptor, the next flash showing the crumpled body being flung away. The Captain, Beck, Spare Bee and Sparky had instinctively headed full speed towards a small hint of light, stumbling into a cave where a torch was spluttering in the corner, and a terrified looking Andrew and Jenn hastily pulling on clothes.
"What the hell's happening?" screamed Jenn.
"Definitely no the sort of action I was looking for," breathed Sparky.
The bushes in front of the cave entrance rustled, and another instant of lightning revealed a large silhouette with the flash of teeth and claws. The velociraptor advanced into the cave, the torchlight revealing its reptilian eyes, its pupils adjusting to the brightness. Jenn and Andrew screamed. The Captain and Sparky screamed.
"You guys have always been great friends," stammered Beck. "You know I. . ."
The beast roared and lunged.
There was a muffled groan and a heavy thump. The six trapped castaways opened their eyes. The raptor lay, lifeless, at their feet, a spear protruding from the back of its skull. Tuta stood at the cave entrance, standing tall, triumphant, eyes gleaming.
"Well, I told you I'd get us some meat," he said. "I wonder if Cloud can cook dinosaur."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Man, this is good!" crooned Sparky, taking another large bite of raptor haunch from his skewer. Cloud beamed at the compliment.
"Yes, surprisingly, it really is good," said the Captain. "An unusual hint of fish and chicken, with a gamy after taste. And cooked to perfection, Cloud."
"And to think it was our own hunter who made the kill," said Aimi, smiling at Tuta.
Tuta the Hunter had been the centre of everyone's praise for the past hour. One would think that such attention would have gone to his head and made him insufferable, yet it actually seemed to have the opposite effect. Tuta remained calm and remarkably modest in the face of this enormous achievement. His only small conceit was that he wished he'd caught the beast instead of killing it, claiming that it would be quite something to remember, the Day of its Capture.
A celebration was undergone that night under the stars, the castaways revelling in the catch, in the sense of adventure and the thrill of discovery, in the essence of fear and the giddiness of triumph. Large amounts of dinosaur were consumed, washed down with copious amounts of Josh and Andrew's Jungle Brew, as they were now calling it. There was revelry, singing, pole dancing and mighty stories of deed and daring around the campfire, until eventually the intrepid explorers, one by one, drifted off to sleep.
The party was moving very slowly the next morning, hands held to aching heads as people stumbled about dealing with their morning ablutions, Cloud cooking up raptor strips and the amazing find of the night before of seven hundred and thirty seven eggs, Sparky wishing out loud for an aspirin, an aspirin, his kingdom for an aspirin. The mood was not helped by the appearance of both Keir and Bluebeard, who both seemed to be of that resilient type who could drink all night, yet still by bouncy and cheerful the next morning.
The Captain took his raptor and eggs and walked away a little from the group, the hangover bringing on a contemplative mood; it was time to do some thinking.
Times have certainly been strange. We all received anonymous invitations, were picked up for a free holiday, placed on a plane, and then we crash on this very strange island, where nothing seems to make sense. What worries me the most were those strange letters we found in that cargo crate.
Dear Captain Darling, Welcome to the experience. You have been consigned to the 'Green Team', details of which will become clear at the welcoming reception. The organisers inform us that you and your friends have discussed the possibilities of doing this for some time. We therefore hope you enjoy your time with us. Our trained staff will be on hand at all times to assist and answer any questions. Please make yourself aware of the 'health and safety' requirements. Upon arrival, you will be required to fill in a short questionnaire before booking in.
What does it all mean? I know the others didn't seem to take much notice of them, but these letters, the same given to all of us with the exception of the name and the three different coloured teams, leave me with an ominous feeling.
His ponderings were interrupted by Larry, coming to sit down next to him. For a while they sat in companionable silence, Larry eventually producing his sling shot and taking pots at various targets, some fruit, a branch, a small pebble sitting on a larger rock, with good accuracy. Actually, with amazing accuracy, thought the Captain, impressed.
"I didn't know you were such a keen shot with that thing, Larry."
"Huh! Neither did I," was Larry's reply. Did the Captain detect a hint of irony in his tone? Or was it sarcasm? "I've never used one of these things before, not even once. Yet I turn up here, and within a few hours I've not only built a perfect sling shot out of sticks and vines, I'm also a crack shot with it! This is very weird, Captain."
Neither said anything else for a few minutes, Larry popping off several more shots with perfect aim. "I tell you, Captain, something's very odd here. How come we all survived the plane crash, yet we never saw any hint of the crew of the plane? How come FX and Fredster have this amazing ability to catch fish seemingly at will? Why is Keir suddenly a master of hypnosis, and why do Fabienne and Stu perform such perfect Morris dancing that looks like it was rehearsed for months? How did Tuta gain the sudden skills to pop a velociraptor in the back of the head with one shot from a pointy stick? That dinosaur definitely grabbed someone last night, I know everyone saw it, yet nobody seems to be missing. And a dinosaur! I mean, a dinosaur! Hasn't it occurred to anyone that dinosaurs have been extinct for sixty five million years? What the smeg is going on here?!"
The Captain had no reply to this impassioned plea. Similar thoughts had been going around and around in his mind for some time. Larry didn't even mention the strange significance of the number 737, which seemed to be occurring with alarming regularity.
"Come on, you two," called Keith, "we're having an assembly!" Larry and the Captain walked back to join the group.
"Well," Sparky was saying, "we still haven't explored Wendoline's Volcano. I thought that the entrance we spotted seemed to have some sort of construction about it. It seemed too angular to be natural."
"For some reason that I'm not quite sure of, I still recommend the other two options over my Volcano," said Wendoline.
"That's not bad considering we haven't laid down any other options, Wend," said Simon. "What makes you think there'll be three options, anyway?"
"I'm not really sure, now that you mention it."
"After our dinosaurian experience," said Keir, "I think we should all go back to my place for some hot chips and some intensive therapy, including myself!"
"That's not fair," objected Aimi. "We can't have two choices the same as last episode."
"Last episode?"
"Um, sorry, I'm not quite sure why I sad that. As the last time we hade to vote on a three way decision."
"Argh," said Bluebeard, "I don't think we should be landlubbing up the mountainside. The seadog Fredster was talking about throwing himself into the bubbling cauldron, and ye cannot let that happen. We should go exploring his jungle, just off to our starboard, to make him feel better."
"I certainly get the feeling that not much imagination has been put into our choices this time," said the Captain. "I get the feeling that our decision has been brought upon us rather abruptly, as the previous few days' engagements have taken a longer time than normal to recite."
"There you go again," said FX.
"Anyway, as long as we're exploring old decisions, what was the most interesting of the past ones? Cappsy being attacked by a mutant rhesus monkey has good comic potential, but seems a little silly, as does Sparky's falling in love with an eight foot sheep."
"I specifically said I don't want that sort of action!" said Sparky.
"So I guess I'll have to make one up on the spot," said the Captain. "I haven't told anyone yet, but not long after we arrived I found this strange map." He produced a tattered, browning piece of paper, covered with denotations of landmarks and some cryptic markings. A dotted line traversed meanderingly across the page, ending in a bright red X.
"Oooh, a treasure map!" exclaimed Leelu. "That looks like fun!"
"We don't know for sure that it's a treasure map," said Beth. "I don't even recognise any of the landmarks on it."
"I do!" said Keith excitedly. "In fact, the dotted line begins not far from where we are now."
Another mystery, thought the Captain. Keith was suddenly an expert map reader.
"Right then, here we are once again. Do we go exploring Wendoline's Volcano, do we explore Fredster's jungle, or do we go off on a spurious treasure hunt?"
Where should the dinosaur sated party go next? YOU DECIDE!
A - Explore Wendoline's Volcano.
B - Explore Fredster's jungle.
C - Go off on a spurious treasure hunt.
Vote now, A, B or C!
A - 9
B - 2
C - 9