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Everyone does them right? Reckless things. Such as cutting, playing catch with butcher knives and not caring if you get sliced. Depression causes some reckless behavior but how much. I do not know what caused me to pick up that razor blade and play connect the dots with my freckles, it just happened. Once you start cutting it is hard to stop. It becomes an addiction much like alcohol and drugs. It does make you feel better, the pain is a way of venting your anger and hurting on the inside, it comes out. Crimson flowing like tear drops for someone who cannot cry. It is hard for me to talk about, extremely hard. Sometimes boredom can cause an attack of cuts, we all have something to hide. " Boredoms not a burden anyone should bare."(Tool, Stinkfist) I hate being alone with myself sometimes because you have to think about all the bad things you shove under your bed. You cannot deal with these things or you do not know how or you are not ready to. Life is so hard and, death seems so easy. I would like to end it all but I feel like the world would have beaten me. These thoughts of suicide began in elementary school. I always have felt alone, even now. |
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