George & Suddam:  A conspiracy Theory
Alright.  I crack.  I am sick of this whole war issue and now people talking about how this is going to be the end of the world (even though it's a pretty big sign, however I think the sign came a little while back when they elected Bush Junior for president by mistake). And how dare Bush start this whole war thing so close to the Academy awards!  now some of my favourite actors aren't gonna go!  So here are my thoughts on the issue.  I'll tell it in the form of a story.  Some short fiction for your reading pleasure.  (actualy it may not be fiction )

   Way back in the day, George saved suddam's life when he was drowning in the burning oil in Kuwait.  Not knowing that it was Suddam (the man whom in the future would cause Georgie great misery) Georgie pulled him out of the burning oil.  After realizing that it was a man his daddy had told him not to help in a dying situation, he tried to pull away.  however he couldn't just let the man lay there and die such a horrible death!  "I'll just pull him out and no one will ever know.  Then I'll run away."  thought  bush junior.  But they say that when someone saves another person's life it creates a very special bond between them.  SO they secretly became really good friends.  maybe even best friends!

   Then some decade or so later Georgie grows up (even though he still acts like a child) and then he is mistakenly elected president (because some americans can't count).  He wants to do something really big that would impress his daddy-o who taught him so much, so he decided to call up his good secret friend Suddam. 


"Soo-DAAAAAAAaAM!  WASSAP???  yo yo yo how ya doin?"  said georg-ee-o. 
"Just hangin' yo, makin me some nuclear war missiles to blow up whatever country pisses me off" replied suddam. 
"Oooooh reallly?  Whatever happened to lighting large fires?"

"Naw man, that kinda blew up in my face the last time I tried to pull some sh*t like that, y'know what I'm sayin?"
"Haha, ya playa, I dig."
"So I hear ya got your @$$ up on the throne yo, must be rakin in the bling bling eh?"
"EH?!?  WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU A DAMN BEAVER LOVER?"
"Hehe, gotta love them beavers"
"NOT THAT KIND"

"whoops, sorry GeeBee, I forgot, what the dealio anywayz you don't like them canadians?"
"do you like your neighbours?"
"Yeah man I see wut you're sayin', why are you calling me again you know I gotta lot of chaos to cause"
"Yeah, I was wonderin', me gettin my @$$ elected and all, I was kinda hopin that you'd make me look good"
"You wanna be the good guy?"
"Well somebody's gotta, at least help me look like it"
"But you aren't really right?"
"Hell naw, good guys are for wussies"
"what kinda gansta playa are you saying "wussy"  you mofo?  you wanna look like one in front of the whole world?"
"Yee-ah, see here's the thang, I need to look big, real big, make my daddy proud."
"And how you gonna do that?"
"Well I was kinda hopin that you'd help me on this"
"Ah! I see what you sayin.  You want me to make something look suspicious so you can have an excuse to come in here and blow up my capital city and all just to make yourself look good in front of the whole world, all at my expense and that of my country?"
"Dude woah slow down...all i said is that I wanna look big,  But hey!  yeah that'll work!   It always does!"
"Hmmm, I dunno"
"AW man please?  please please please COME ON I SAVED YOUR LIFE!"
"That was like, years ago!"
"But you never paid me back!"
"OK OK OK fine!  I'll let you challenge our country to a war after you get all paranoid thinking that I'm hording some nuclear war missiles that you know would totally blow up your entire country and possibly start the third world war!  Is there anything else you want?!?"
"Hmm. hows about some fried chicken?"
"DO I LOOK LIKE A FRICKEN COLONEL SANDERS?!?"
"Maybe without the hat and with some glasses."
"Do you want pretzles with that?"
"HEY MAN THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"
"Haha, I'm just playin.  Aiight well I'm gonna go get things ready and make my secret underground nuclear missile operation look suspcious for when you come down next week"
"Aiight,  And rememba, we don't know each other."
"Aw man how can you say that after all we've been through?"
"Shut up man the wife's around...she doesn't know..."
"YOU'RE MARRIED?"
"SHHHHHH SHHHHHH!!!"
(george's wife)  "Honey who's that you're talkin to on the phone?"
(george to wife) "Just Clinton, honey!"
"Oh, you asking him for some advice again?"
"Why yes dear!  Now I promise tonight will be better than last night!"
"It always is after you talk with Bill! I'm going to run out and buy me a little teddy for tonight then.  Bye!"
"I can't believe this, all these years and you leadin me on like this?!?"
"LOOK when you're the prez here in america you gotta have yourself a first lady, not a first man!"
"YEAH WELL there's a first TIME for everything!"
"Whateva, I'll see ya next week Hussy.  thanks again"
"Anytime boo."
Ramblings

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