You know...it's a hard knock life...but that's how the cookie crumbles sometimes. It isn't always a walk in the park, sometimes you just have to suck it up and show no fear in the face of adversity, and that's exactly what i'm going to do. No partners, no problem. TJ RocKeR, I know there has to be a very good reason you haven't returned my phone calls, and we're still on solid ground. Duzer can dissapear for all eternity, if you want my honest opinion. So the question i'm being asked constantly by everybody I come across is "how are you preparing for the big War Games cage match?" Simple, i'm preparing the same way I prepare for every match, I am working my tail off in the gym, drinking plenty of protein shakes, Powerbars by the dozen, and i'll be getting a good nights sleep and eating my Wheaties for breakfast, the way it's supposed to be. I'll be ready.
So I have to face two other teams featuring some very talented superstars, and that suits me just fine. Team EFW, Pat Carroll, Brian Pearlman, and Devastator. Pearlman, i've been telling my buddy Greg Dixson this since day one, you are a talented guy. Somebody that can reach the pinnacle of Elite Fantasy Wrestling, and can do it in such a way that you will be able to capture the imaginations of those people the way nobody else could. Not me, not Shawn Hunt, not anybody. Pearlman I respect you as an entertainer, and as a wrestler, you're quite simply a class act, and i'm priveleged to step into that squared circle with you. The first time we met it ended in a way where nobody wins, a double countout. I know you're anxious kid, I know you're hungry, I know you want to prove that you're not just some second rate middle of the card wrestler. You want to prove that you're a superstar. You'll get your chance at SummerSmash, you're already close to it, leading a team into battle in the main event of the biggest sports entertainment spectacular of the summer. I know what's at stake, and I know you know what's at stake, good luck Bman. I don't even think you'll need those eye lasers.
Pearlman has a teammate by the name of Pat Carroll. "The Elite One." Carroll you're on the fast track to stardom just like your teammate Pearlman, you've got the guts and the ability to make a name for yourself. You've been apart of 8 Ball Inc, you've learned from one of the very best in Shawn Hunt, and you've been in quite a few big main event matches. You've yet to get over that ever so tall hump that's holding you back. Don't worry, I had that monkey on my back for years and years throughout the tenure in DHW until I beat Jake Snypes at Elite Heat. You'll get over it, I know you will, but i'll tell you this, you won't be scoring the big star making fall over me.
Devastator. Question. Do you ever know when to keep that big mouth of yours shut? I don't know exactly what you were thinking myself. I don't think I have this huge ego thing going on, but I do know when somebody is out of place. I get my "panties twisted about things that don't even concern (me)?" Well this does concern me, so I guess i'm free to speak my mind. You called me a whiner, that doesn't sit well with me as a role model to all those kids in the crowd, that's where you cross the line. You do not try to belittle me in front of those children in the crowd, questioning my character. I've proven myself Devastator, if I have an issue with something that somebody does or says, i'm going to state it in the nicest way possible, unlike Duzer. But when you complain even about that, it's obvious you're looking for a fight. So let me make it really simple so that your pea brain can comprehend it, I am going to find you in that cage, and i'm going to commense beating your brains in. Then, Shawn Hunt will find you, and HE will commense in the beating in of your insides, then i'm going to find you again, and we're going to play see-saw with you, back and forth back and forth, right hand, left hand, right hand, left hand.
Not only did you question my character, you questioned my leadership ability. Devastator, how many teams have you ever lead? Whoa? Shocked that I went there? If history serves me right, you were part of 8 Ball Inc, nothing more than a lackey. Then, to "be a man" you left said group to what we thought prove yourself and establish your own identity, but what do you end up doing? You end up attaching your lips to Brian Pearlman's asscheeks. So how in the hell do you find yourself fit to question my ability as a team leader when you are nothing more than a follower? That's right, a follower. You've proven to me over your tenure here in EFW that you can't stand on your own two feet, hell, you're third string on your own War Games team. Check the stats Devastator, there's me, a proven commodity, a guy that those paying customers can relate to, someone who's won the Worlds Title, won Elite of the Week multiple times, been in those X-Net charts, and out performs anyone and everyone in the big match enviroment. Then there's you, a backup, a lackey, a sheep, a little lamb in a big pen. Choke on those pork chops.
*Just then the lightbulb falls. The loud, obnoxious sound of breaking glass fills the small room which is now shrouded in darkness.*
Darkness. Some people are frightened of darkness, but not I, i've been trained better than that. Team 8 Ball Inc is a group surrounded in darkness if you ask me. The kind of darkness that's by choice, optional seclusion from the rest of the roster whether it be on foreign trips on those hour long bus rides or in the locker room when we're playing cards. I don't understand 8 Ball Inc, I don't think I ever will. What their mission is exactly I don't know, what the chip on their shoulder comes from i'm uncertain of. But there is definitely some darkness. It's as if there is no human emotion whatsoever in any of the 8 Ball Inc members, that's how I thought before, nut now I think differently.
Reno Andretti I don't know much about you, and I won't claim to. But i've heard about what has been going down with you. I want you to know that I have the upmost respect for you, after hearing that happened with that boy's mother, and how you're going to help. As you know I love kids and do my best for those little guys who watch me on tv or in the arenas, and I know you'll be doing the same thing for little Corey. I have been shown a human side of the "mighty" 8 Ball Inc, and i'm glad I have. Reno, I have nothing negative to say about you. It's billed as a war, but i'm hoping that you come out of this ok with no serious injury.
Brian "Phatman" Cady. You went off on me talking about dictatorship or something, and quite frankly I don't know where all that came from. It does seem though that you're trying to prove yourself as the man in terms of running 8 Ball Inc, i've even noticed traces of you trying to make yourself look like the superior leader to Shawn Hunt. Don't deny this, it's in quotes, it's well documented, but chill. You want some sort of 8 Ball monopoly on EFW? What's the purpose of that Cady? Who's going to be left to fight? What is it worth ruling something if there is nobody to rule over? What are you doing to do? Sit on the proverbial throne all day and shove the big golden septer up your nose? Seems to me like you have an attitude problem, try to fix that, see a doctor, take some Prozac, whatever works for you. Just remember, you're not Shawn Hunt, you'll never ever be Shawn Hunt.
Which leads me to...who else? Shawn Hunt. The man himself. Hunt, flat out, I respect you. You're the guy who's been doing his thing for years longer than I and has found success everywhere, kudos. What I don't understand is your need to vacate your title, then come back to get the opportunity to win it back? I don't know you that well Shawn, but it seems to me like there's a bit of an ego thing going on, maybe i'm right, maybe i'm wrong. But i'll tell you this, i'm aching to get into that ring with you Hunt. I know it, you know it, the fans know it when I say that the two of us are the big guns here in EFW. The people come to the arena to see and cheer for Dusty J, and they come to see and boo Shawn Hunt, that's just the way it is, it's the way it's been since Jake Snypes left this company.
I can predict certain things, not actual winners and losers, but moments, turning points, and I just know that at some point during this collosal encounter we're going to be staring one another down, meeting face to face in the middle of that ring, the people will be standing up, and that's when they'll know that the admission they paid is worth it. That's when we'll know we've done our jobs, we'll know we're worth it. Best of luck.
On my own, it's what's looking most likely, and in Vegas I doubt I even have a one percent chance of winning, but I don't care. The odds have been stacked against me before, the odds have been stacked against many before. But Truman defeated Dewey, The Angels beat The Giants, and if I have it my way, Dusty J will prove to a legion of doubters that he can overcome the odds and defy expectations, and once again capture the hearts and imaginations of fans young and old. I'm ready to face to challenges that are laid before me, that's the sign of a man. I'm a man, a good man, a hardworking man, and a man who's ready to run through the gauntlet onward to the road of victory.
*The blackness fades into a commercial for the big War Games match.*