Lucky Charms

*Forrest Gump always compared life to a box of chocolates. Such analogies make no sense to the vast majority of the world, but somehow this one just sounded right to Forrest. Does this relate in anyway to the upcoming main event of Dusty J vs Jake Snypes for the Worlds Title at EFW Rage? Of course silly. Dusty is currently at the Armagh City Hotel, and has awoken early in the morning to get a head start at training and further preparations for his match. But what is there to eat for breakfast in Ireland? Well think about it, Lucky Charms. What kid doesn't love Lucky Charms? Hell, what person doesn't love Lucky Charms? After all, it has the whole grain oats that keep our body feeling strong, and it has those delectable marshellows that nobody in their right minds could resist. Dusty has decided to taste the delightful cereal for his morning nurishment. He pours in the cereal and then pulls out a small carton of 2% milk from the mini fridge in the room and pours it in the bowl. He sifts throug the cereal with his spoon before taking a big heaping spoonful and devouring it. He then, instead of eating it like a regular person, seperates the marshmellows from the oats and just eats the oats, the exact opposite of what most children do. He then notices that Greg left his camera in the room from last night, when they were recording promos. He gets up and walks over to it, then flips it on. He sets it on the table in front of him and sits back down, continuing to eat his cereal until nothing is left but marshmellows. He looks down into his bowl and then faces the camera.*

You know...people have questioned, ever since I lost at Rising Dreams last month, it seems that most of the wrestling journalists seem to think that I don't have what it takes to be at the top of the heap, to be the most elite of all the EFW superstars. Well, they can question me all they want. They can have an open field day on Dusty J doubting, but the fact of the matter is, I know what it takes to be a champion. I know what I have to do to be a champion. I can do what it takes to be a champion, because I know what I need to do to be a champion. I think being a world champion is just like a bown of Lucky Charms. You never know what marshmellow you're going to get, hearts, stars, clovers, pots of gold? Who really knows? All that I do know is that they are all sweet, and you can't go wrong with any of them.

*Dusty then dips his spoon back into the bowl and picks up some marshmellows, all of them clovers.*

Clovers, how ironic. The luck o' the Irish here in Ireland in a box of Lucky Charms. Of course you'd be a fool to think that you don't need clovers, the luck, to become Worlds Champion. As a matter of fact, it plays just about a big of a role as anything else. Some nights you're exhausted and feel like you can't go anymore, but your foot slides under the bottom rope, and it saves you, it rejuvenates you. You don't even mean for it to happen, it just does, it's just reflex, and that can make you or break you. If somebody has good luck, he doesn't need to be more talented to pull off a win, and if a guy has the worst luck in the world, he probably isn't going to win, no matter what. I've had some previous World Title match experience before, and I will admit the two men that defeated me are very, very talented. But Jake Snypes and DJ both had the luck that night, because, whether Snypes feels this way or not, I feel that i'm just as good as him. I've had some bad luck, but hopefully, being here in Ireland for Elite Heat, the biggest pay-per-view of the yearly wrestling calender? And me, being the so called "Golden Boy" and "Superstar in the Making" that I am, it seems as if the star are aligning perfectly for me, which brings me to...

*Dusty eats the clovers and puts his spoon back in the bowl, this time pulling out stars.*

Yeah, stars. They're going to be aligned just right for me on Monday night, and after I win the EFW Worlds Title, i'm going to be a star. When you were a kid Jake, did you ever dream about being a star? Being a famous actor? Scientist? Lead singer in a Canadian punk rock band? Well Jake, my parents were stars, both famous Hollywood producers/actors, I grew up around the stars, but I never could lay claim to being one myself. Being the Worlds Champion makes me that star, that glowing light in a big big wrestling universe, and it allows me to spread my message of hard work and determination to the kids all across this country of Ireland, The United States of America, and every other inch of this earth. I'm hoping that the hardcore EFW fanatics turn out here in Ireland, and i'm hoping people who don't watch wrestling show up, just because it's going to tear the roof off of the Athletic Grounds...in fact...it seems as if that's already been taken care of. But I want those non fans to become fans, i'm going to make sure that I become a bonafide star, and make all those people who aren't in the know feel as is they have witnessed something very special.

*He eats the star marshmellows, then gets the heart marshmellows.*

All champions need heart to truly be what they claim to be. There's no doubt in my mind Jake that you have heart, and while you may be, for the most part, a first class jerk, I will be the very first to vouch for you on that. But I also have heart, in fact, I don't think there is anybody in professional wrestling, let alone EFW, that has more heart than I do. I'm out there week after week busting my butt for professional wrestling, busting my rear for Brett Haynes, busting my glutt for the boys in the back and the little boys around the world, and busting my ass for ultimate glory. I've tried so hard, and come so far, and i'm going to make sure that in order for my shoulders to stay down on that mat for a count of three, that my heart will have to stop beating.

*Dusty consumes the hearts and the rainbows are next.*

The rainbow to me represents the opposition. It represents the challenges that every champion must go through in his life. You've got all the different colors, all the different wrestlers you have to beat. There's all the backstage decisions by the booking staff, sometimes you like it, sometimes you don't. But the rainbow is about all of that, all the emotions that one can feel, and all the enemies that one can tangle with. But if you work hard enough, I know that at the end of the rainbow...there is always a pot of gold.

*Dusty eats the rainbows and spoons out the pot of gold marshmellows.*

The pot of gold, the ultimate achievement no matter if you're a wrestler, a football player, a baseball player, a basketball player, it's all about the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. The EFW World Title is what is waiting for me, and right now Jake Snypes has it, well Jake, i'm ready to come and take that title from you, to claim the pot of gold for myself, to become the EFW World Champion.

*Dusty eats the pot of gold, the bowl appears to be empty, but there is one more thing in there, the red balloons.*

The red balloons. The celebration. The honeymoon. After laying claim to that pot of gold the red balloons will fly high in the Irish sky, signifying the birth of something that nobody has ever seen before. Jake you speak of your legacy, but you're not going to be fufilling your dream, i'll be living mine. In Ireland Jake, I can assure that you will be seeing red.

*Dusty finishes off the cereal with the red balloons and then drinks all of the milk from the bowl. He wipes his mouth of and then stands, leaning over the table to turn off the camera.*

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