Enjoying the Moment

As I sit and swing, watching all that run and play, 
I imagine what it's like to be able to enjoy the moment. 
To swim; to play ball; to sit and talk about the events of the past week. 
Not caring who's around, or what they think. 
Enjoying the moment. 

While they gather and laugh, I sit and sulk,
Hiding so not to be noticed. 
To them, fun is being with friends and hanging out, 
For me, I am my own friend.
Enjoying the moment.

They tell each other secrets, some private some not,
My secrets are secrets; no one knows them but me.
As I keep everything bottled up inside, thinking at all times,
I wonder what it would be like to have someone to tell.
Enjoying the moment.

When they go to ball games, the movies, or the mall,
I sit at home crying as I punish myself,
Each cut as a reminder what I am not. 
Never laughing, or playing, or hanging out.
Never enjoying the moment