Text Box: After a grueling six-minute bike ride to the hash I was in desperate need of a beer. Unfortunately after comparing bikes with the always two wheeling Prince Valium I didn’t have time before chalk talk to satisfy my thirst. A couple of handfuls, or is that hands full. Circling up for chalk talk was a handful of Durham area hashers, eager to launch our new hash kennel. There was also a good handful of hashers from the insignificant little hash down the road, eager to mock and ridicule the upstart DUrHam HHH. They’d get theirs later. Speaking of a couple handfuls it was nice to see Just Susie and her very impressive handfuls for the first time in quite a while. Our hares for the day Anal Compulsion and the always anally inclined Stuporman led us through the usual pre-hash chalk talk nonsense. There was a great collective cheer when it was revealed that there were to be two beer checks. After naming off and a quick blast of the hash horn, off went the pack. My first observation was that the hashers from the insignificant little hash down the road were not totally confused and disoriented after having taken the bold step outside of the center of the universe and in to our little burg. There were three notable exceptions though. New Shoez, he didn’t range at all perhaps this was due to the unfamiliar territory, but he did mark his new territory, he marked off most of the checks, was this really Shoez? Shampoo, normally a relatively sane individual (even though he is the GM of that insignificant little hash down the road) decided it was a good idea to just sit and watch as the rest of us plodded over some local farmer’s crops, at least he had a nice comfy couch, but he’s lucky to have survived. `Round here the farmers shoot first and ask questions later. Rose Eh, I heard no complaints or bitching from her and I was beginning to wonder if she was okay but then I realized I should just enjoy the peace. It wasn’t long before she snapped out of it though. As we neared the first beer check off she went, “Where’s the beer check? I’m thirsty.” Rose Eh was herself again and at least we didn’t have to listen to that whining for too long because the BC was right around the corner. At the first BC hashers drank beer, and listened as Dead End as she told us about just about every pub in DUrHam region, she’s picked up many young men in these establishments and started many brawls too. `Nuff said. Toast and Stuporman Auto-hashed from here on. For the next leg of trail Aims Low asked me to take our beautiful daughter, Aims Lower so she (the former) could run. Thank you hares, thank you so much for making me climb a steep, muddy slope with my daughter strapped to my belly. I didn’t witness this personally but I’m told it was abundantly clear that Shoez had still left his true self behind in Hogtown. Apparently, when discussing the name of the new Hogtown hen hash with Aims Low he had forgotten what a cat was, regardless of the fact that Wet Pussy was in on the conversation. I’m sure he’ll be suitably down-downed by Half Wit and the others at a TWAT hash soon. Suddenly, I was hearing the sound of a very sick cow. Now I know what you’re thinking but I can assure you it wasn’t Rose Eh. Could that suburban farmer have sent a herd of rabid livestock after us? No. It was Hump Day trying his hand at the hash horn. The second beer check was at the Knight’s Corner. The pack seemed happy to be nearly done with the torture and merrily drank before the quick trot back to the On In. We returned to the On In only to find another couple of handfuls (hands full?), Sweet Cheeks and Zig Zag. It struck me as strange that Zig Zag, who we all know is always late didn’t bother running trail only to catch us at the beer check, which for him is the norm. I guess he was one of the hashers from the insignificant hash down the road that was affected by being out of his element. Circle began and the DUrHam HHH drinking vessel was unveiled and much to the horror of the hashers from the insignificant hash down the road it was a severed pig head, I think Johnny Cockring is contemplating litigation for this blasphemous act. As far as my scribbled notes tell me down-downs were awarded (administered?) as follows: Anal Compulsion and Stuporman for inflicting this punishment on us all. Just Susie for wearing new shoes (not New Shoez) and yes she drank from her shoe Prince Valium and myself for overachieving (riding our bikes to the hash) Sweet Cheeks and Zig Zag for not r*nning trail Anal Compulsion for being lost on her own trail Half Wit for being hard up for girls (how many of the rest of us eluded this one is beyond me) Aims Low and myself for providing the yummy home brew at the first beer check Just Susie for not understanding trail marks The Hashers from the insignificant hash down the road for admitting they were from the insignificant hash down the road Dead End for headgear in circle Just Susie and Dead End for not wearing hash attire. And I'm sure this is how everyone in attendance remembers the affair On On Bummingafag Click here for photos     Text Box: Saturday. September 17, 2005 Hares: Anal Compulsion and Stuporman On In: Harp and Crown

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