the INFLATIONATION
Your Home For Toon Balloons
STORIES
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----------------------------- by Simeon Shellback |
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"Ladies and gentlemen!" The brontosaurus had hardly uttered the words before the large crowd began roaring. Every spotlight in the huge arena was focused on the the dinosaur, sporting a bad tuxedo and struggling to contain his excitement. "Tonight is no ordinary DWF night!" Once again, the crowd of burly dinosaur males began shouting with approval. They were tired from the hour-long wait under the hot arena lights and were eager to see some over-muscled powerhouses beat each other into the ground. "On this special night, the top top contenders of the Dinosaur Wrestling Federation have agreed to put the World Title Belt on the line for a match that has nearly nothing to do with wrestling!" Quiet murmurings were heard from the crowd. "Instead," Crusher continued, "they have agreed to a match in something they all love to do, and that will decide it all - An eating contest!" The audience was still a bit confused, but hearing the Crusher yell meant the action was about to start, which was certainly to cheer for. "The match will work like this: Eight truckloads of food have been placed outside the ring. Each member in the match will have one truck to themselves. There will be right minutes of intense stuffing and eating, and after the ten minutes have passed, everyone will be weighed. The lightest combatant will be eliminated. The last one standing will win!" The crowd roared with excitement. "So," Crusher exclaimed. "Let's get to introducing the fighters! First, the hard-edged missionary of cool, please welcome Velocirapper!" A blaring of rap music was soon heard throughout the arena, and before long the fan favorite walked into the ring. Wearing a gray muscle shirt, magenta cargo pants, a gold chain around his neck and shades, the solid velociraptor made his way into the ring and positioned himself next to one of the trucks, but not before doing a little dance. "Next, the masked marauder from hell...Terrorsaur!" The music immediately stopped and the arena turned pitch black. Soon a spotlight picked up the pterodactyl, perched on a pipe. The dinosaur was wearing a gray spandex suit which covered just about his entire body, even his long wings. He flew down at blistering speed, so fast he nearly knocked down Crusher in the process. He screeched to a halt next to one of the trucks as well. "Next, the two brothers entering have a lot of munching to do if they want to win...Munch and Punch!" A heavy rock riff picked up and soon the two wild ones raced into the ring, almost fighting with themselves as they did so. Munch was clad in dark red pants, and Punch wore yellow ones. The two dived into the ring and shared one of the trucks. "Next, please welcome the militant, ever-stagnant Krash!" A drum beat kicked in, and before long nearly everyone in the arena could hear the heavy thudding of Krash's combat boots. Bare except for the boots and a pair of camoflauge pants, Krash walked slowly into the ring, never taking his eyes from Crusher. The announcer began sweating and stepped aside for Krash to step aside. The dinosaur obliged and placed himself next to one of the trucks. Crusher nervously picked up his speech again. "Next, the mystery man, the bringer of doom...The Axecutioner!" The Axecutioner walked to the ring with no music playing. Clad in an executioner's mask only, his tail, which had an axe at the end, swill swung swiftly behind him. Like Krash, he didn't say a word, only taking a seat at one of the trucks. "Next, please welcome the largest of the combatants, the monstrous Junior Jr.!" Hard rock blazed through the sound system as the massive Stegosaurus wondered into the ring. Wearing a pair of ripped overalls, the light-green dinosaur was the favorite of many to win the event, if only for his sheer mass. He sat down next to one of the remaining trucks. "Next, please welcome the trendy Triceratops, Trislamatops!" Light rock turned onto the sound system, and a well-muscled Triceratops walked into the ring, pausing every few seconds to pose to his adoring fans. Wearing only elbow pads, knee pads and a small Speedo, Trislamatops finally walked into the ring and sat down. "Finally, please welcome another favorite to win the title...T-Wrecks!" The crowd went absolutely insane at the mention of the wrestler's name. The red Tyrannosaurus Rex was wearing a black vest, a chain around his neck and a blue Speedo. It was absolutely gargantuan, and it barged into the ring with a fury. Half of the wrestlers already in scrambled to safety. T-Wrecks was finally calmed down and walked to the final truck, eyeing the food. Crusher stood in the center of the ring, with the different wrestlers around him in every direction. Eight scales were also placed next to Crusher. The brontosaurus looked at his watch. Only a few seconds to go... "Alright, boys, you know the rules. No cheating, and the winner gets the belt! Ready...GO!" The word had hardly escaped his mouth before the different dinosaurs dove into their trucks, ramming food their throats at an unimaginable rate. The larger fighters like T-Wrecks and Junior Jr. found eating the food pathetically easy, and didn't hesitate to put on a few extra pounds. Others began having trouble consuming the huge amounts of food the others were, though. Terrordactyl, though being able to put large amounts of food in his beak-like mouth, had already begun to become full by the five-minute mark. Glancing over at Trislamatops, he saw the former body builder was just getting started. Still, he pressed on. Finally the ten minute bell went off, and the fighters were thrown off the trucks and onto the scales. After a moment of hesitation as the loser was determined, Crusher grabbed his microphone back. "Well, folks, we have the first loser! Or, as I should say, losers! Yes, Munch and Punch put up a valiant fight, but they hardly tip the scales at 340 pounds combined! They are the lightest, so they are out!" The two little dinosaurs heard the news, and they didn't like it. They were fully prepared to go into a frenzy, but upon looking at T-Wrecks, who was glaring down at them, they hastily exited. After a minute while the seven remaining fighters rested and the trucks were refilled, Crusher again took the center of the ring. "Okay, boys, ready...GO!" Once again the wrestlers dove into the trucks, devouring everything and anything they could. Nearing the end of this round even T-Wrecks was starting to slow down just a smidge, but he still snarfed everything in his sight. Crusher, who was playing solitaire in the ring, quickly glanced at his watch some minutes later. Finally the bell rang and again the wrestlers were ejected from the trucks. This time some of them looked a bit different. They had all consumed quite a bit of food, and it showed on each of them. Trislamatops was beginning to lose his physique, and the formerly beefy Junior Jr. was starting to develop a belly. "Step on the scales!" Crusher ordered. After all the fighters had been weighed in, Crusher walked to Terrordactyl. "Sorry, Terrordactyl, you're only 378 pounds! I'm afraid you've out. The pterodactly spat on the ground and flew in the air, sputtering for a second while he got adjusted to the pounds he had just put on. "Well folks," Crusher hollered, "We've got six contestants left and a whole mound of food left! What do you say we keep going!?" The crowd shouted with all their might. "Alright...GO!" The dinosaurs plowed into the trucks and ate ravenously with all their might. All of the definitely small wrestlers were now gone, so whomever was left was certainly capable of holding his own in an eating contest. Unfortunately for one of them, the fight would have to be narrowed down to five. The bell rang and the fighters were placed back at the scales. The ring was now beginning to look like a buffet, for all the fighters had gained a considerable amount of weight. Krash's pants looked quite tight on the dinosaur, and T-Wreck's formerly loose vest was beginning to press on the ballooning dinosaur's chest. The weighing was done, and Crusher found himself standing next to Velocirapper. "I am truly sorry, Velocirapper, but at 439 pounds, you're the lightest! Bye-bye!" The raptor grunted and began walking out of the ring, though much slower than before. Actually, he was slightly relieved, for his shirt was ready to burst at his expanded stomach and he wanted to take it off badly. "Ready, boys?" Crusher asked. "...GO!" The five remaining trucks saw themselves being dove into yet again, as the dinosaurs began to munch their way closer to the title. The eating was even faster this time, as everyone wanted the belt, and they were already several steps of the way there. The bell rang ten minutes later, and the fighters were again let off the trucks. Several of the dinosaurs were beginning to waddle with their steps now, for some had gained over 200 pounds in their feasting. The weighing happened as normal, and Crusher walked to Krash with a frown on his face. "I'm sorry, Krash, but you've lost at 527 pounds!" Krash didn't say a word, only exiting the ring, also eager to get the tight clothes off his body like Velocirapper had. Crusher faced the audience. "We will now take a half-hour break so that our four remaining fighters may have a bit of rest. You may now adjust your betting also, if you wish." The crowd began filing out, and Crusher called the four remaining wrestlers together to compare them. They certainly looked different from when they had entered. T-Wrecks was quite a bit heavier, with a growing stomach on his body, as well as thicker legs and fat arms. Trislamatops didn't look so bad, but he had completely lost all showing of muscle on his body, instead with a layer of fat coating his body. Axecutioner fared much worse, with a giant belly hanging from him, and fatty limbs. Junior Jr. also looked quite obese. Though the overalls were still concealing his body well, he now looked like a farmer who had eaten far too much of his crop. His muscled arms were gone, replaced by fatty limbs. The half hour passed quickly. Crusher turned to the four fighters. "Boys, we have a special surprise for you! Now, instead of simply ten minutes of stuffing your face, you get twenty minutes!! Now...GO!" The four dove furiously into their trucks, eager to eat as much food as they possibly could, though twenty minutes was a long time to eat. Before long the twenty minutes had passed, and the four all waddled back to their scales. Now none of them looked like a wrestler at all, but simply like very fat dinosaurs...Because they were. The weighing occured, and Crusher walked to Axecutioner. "Sorry, Axecutioner, but you can't proceed at only 702 pounds. Good-bye!" Axecutioner was having trouble getting around, but eventually the bulbous dinosaur exited the ring. Crusher turned to the final three. "You know the drill, boys...GO!" Another twenty minutes of heavy eating went by, and the three massive beings now stood at the weights. Each was covered in layers upon layers of fat, and all three knew if they were to lose, all the excess tonnage would be in vain. Crusher stared at the numbers and walked to Trislamatops woefully. "I am very sorry, Trislamatops, but you lose, as you only weigh 934 pounds." The Triceratops began weeping, for he had lost his beautiful body and had gotten nothing for it. He had to be escorted out of the ring by several attendants. Crusher turned to the remaining two fighters. "Only two remain!!! T-Wrecks and Junior Jr." Once again the crowd began shouting like crazy. "Now...GO!" The final two dove into the trucks, ready for their final binge. Twenty minutes later... The two emerged, looking like dinosaur sumo wrestlers. T-Wrecks no longer had a vest, as it had snapped, and his red body was filled with ridiculous amounts of fat. Junior Jr. looked worse, with patches of flab hanging from his entire body. Somehow his overalls were still on, though, even with the gigantic belly showing on the dinosaur. "Gentlemen...The weights!" The two stepped on, dying to know who had won. Crusher stared at the two numbers, shocked. "Ladies and gentlemen, it appears...We have a tie! Both tip the scales at 1205 pounds! We have no winner, and no one claims the belt!" In a flash Crusher found himself staring into the fat face of T-Wrecks. "Hey!" He snarled. "I stuffed my face for that belt, and I'm gonna get it!" He tossed Crusher out of the ring and dove for the belt, but he found himself cut off by his rond equsl. "The belt is mine!" Junior Jr. roared through his bobbing cheeks. Before long the two immensely obese fighters were wrestling with each other. After several minutes of trading blows, Junior Jr. had an idea- Rare for him. He managed to hurl T-Wrecks out of the ring, then he climbed out himself. He managed to pick up one of the trucks and pointed the bottom of it towards his mouth. He quickly consumed hundreds of pounds in a matter of seconds. Meanwhile, T-Wrecks climbed back into the ring, ready to take the belt and run. Soon, though, he saw something dark envelop over the ring. Looking up, he saw a large, green thing hurtling down towards the ring at light speed. Junior Jr. had catapulted himself into the ring, and proceeded to squash the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Weighing over 1500 pounds, the morbidly obese stegosaurus could no longer move on his own. His overalls, were still intact, though they had to stretch tightly. His massive, fleshy arms rested at his sides and his huge, thick legs rubbed together when they moved, making walking impossible for Junior Jr. His belly had become a giant beach-ball in front of him, and two massive, fatty pectorals hung limply above it. His cheeks were loose and covered his mouth when he talked, a feat made even harder by the five or six chins on his neck. Crusher climbed into the ring, quickly surveyed the situation, and handed the belt to Junior Jr. He tried to lift his arm up, but couldn't, so he instead simply held the belt in the air. "Ladies and gentleman, your new champion, the sumo squasher, the blimp brawler...JUNIOR JR.!" |