Shini: Hi guys, I have done so many serious fics over the past six months I've decided to do a humour fic which is a bit stupid but hay I need a change! This fic will be of six short parts, limes in nearly all of them and lots of Relena Bashing! Basically Relena finds out about the boys being gay and if anyone dares to flame me telling me the boys aren't gay them Omae o Korosu cause this is MY fic and if I want to make them gay I will! So there! *Sticks out tongue*

 

Sutica: You are very childish you know.

 

Shini: What's the point in being serious all the time? I'm young and able and I just wanna have fun!

 

Sutica: I think that's one of the main problems.

 

Shini: The pairings for this fic are - 1x2 1x3 1x4 1+5 1x6

 

Sutica: You have turned Heero into a slut?!

 

Shini: Shut up girl! There are more pairings - 2x3 2+4 3x4 5x6 6x1

 

Sutica: Any more?

 

Shini: Well you could just make it easier and do this - 1x2x3x4x5x6

 

Sutica: What happened to the 1x2x3x4x5x6x13 fic you promised me?

 

Shini: *sweat drops*

 

Duo: Hidden under her bed with all the other pwps she has done.

 

Heero: How do you know what's hidden under her bed?

 

Duo: She locks me in there when she *isn't* torturing me!

 

Shini: So I'm not torturing you in this fic just Relena!

 

Duo: Oh goody, that's what you said about Facing the Truth

 

Sutica: And look how that one came out!

 

Shini: WARNINGS - Yaoi, lots of yaoi! The rating is PG-13 but if you don't think you should be reading this then don't!...

 

Duo: Basically it's your own fault if you get brain damage from reading this!

 

Shini: *glares at Duo* As I Was Saying! Feedback is welcome with open arms but flames can go in the trashcan! I don't own the characters.

 

Sutica: You act like you do.

 

Shini: I don't own the characters; I just borrow them for harmless fun… I mean fics.

 

Quatre: Harmless? Last time Duo got raped and the time before that Heero did TWICE!

 

Shini: Why do I get the feeling I'm being ganged up here?

 

Heero: *Pulls out a gun* Omae o Korosu!

 

Shini: *runs!* Hope you enjoy the fic and the Relena bashing!!! Eep! *Bang*

 

Sutica: Sorry about that readers but she can get very carried away some times and she's been very stressed recently! She has to release it some way! Bye

 

R. F. O.

 

Chapter 1 - 1x2

 

Relena walks through the large building that hosts the headquarters for the Preventers. She needed to see Lady Une about a really important matter

 

Sutica: Is that as the kind of important matter as wither Mrs Relena Dorlian Yuy sounds better than Mrs Heero Yuy?

 

Shini: *shrugs* Who knows, this is Relena after all!

 

Relena rushed down corridor after corridor towards the top of the building and Une's office.

 

A loud moaning noise caught her attention as she passed by an partly open door that was marked as Duo Maxwell's office. As the door was already open she slid her face round the doorframe to see what was happening in the room.

 

Duo and Heero were locked in what appears to be a very hot, steamy, passionate make out session!

 

Sutica/Shini/Quatre/Trowa/Zechs: *drools*

 

Shini: Hang on. Quatre Trowa and Zechs?

 

Zechs: This is a 1x2x3x4x5x6 fic!

 

Shini: Point. Where's Wu?

 

Sutica: *points under bed* Hiding.

 

Shini: Why?

 

Quatre: He doesn't like the limes.

 

Shini: Ahhhhh! I see!

 

Sutica: You don't do you?

 

Shini: I do exactly! Weakling!

 

Wufei: I heard that. *Sticks head out from under bed* I'm not weaaaaak! *Sees Duo and Heero* Oh! Oh! *Nose bleed*

 

Duo's and Heero's lips were locked tightly against each other. Duo's hands were tangled in Heero's hair holding them together while Heero's hands slipped down Duo's back making Duo's back arch and his chest pressed closer to Heero's and then slipped down into the back of Duo's trousers to grab the creamy white globes and grinding groin to groin and caused Duo to break the kiss and throw his head back and groan Heero's name to the heavens. Heero's lips attacked Duo's white throat and he pressed Duo back until they came to Duo's desk.

 

A small amount of blood fell from Relena's nose as she paled and holding back a cry of disbelief she hurried quickly to Une's office.

 

TBC...

 

Sutica: What was that?

 

Shini: *Shakes head* Not sure.

 

Sutica: I don't think she is going to be able to face the world after people have read that!

 

Duo: I think it was good but I really would have preferred a full blown out lemon against the desk.

 

Heero: Mission accepted.

 

Sutica: *Watches blankly as Heero drags Duo back into the fic* Well please guys review! Remember this WAS supposed to be funny, even if it is sad and sick!

 

Shini: Yeah well I'll found out what a bad writer I am!

 

Sutica: *sweat drops* I have to get her out of this state so please review!!! Bye

 

Wufei: *From under bed* Is it over yet?

 

Sutica: Barely started!

 

 

*********************

 

Shini: Hay I'm back!!!

 

Sutica: Please don't tell me you have done another chapter to this fic?

 

Shini: I would never leave a fic uncompleted.

 

Sutica: You have done before.

 

Shini: That was different!

 

Sutica: How?

 

Shini: That didn't have Relena Bashing in. And besides the people I sent this too said it was good!

 

Sutica: You sent THIS to people???

 

Shini: Yep!

 

Sutica: *Faints*

 

Shini: Oops. Little reminder about this fic, Heero is a slut in this!

 

Heero: Omae o Korosu!

 

Shini: I meant that in a good way!

 

Duo: He's my Slut.

 

Shini: Not in this part. The pairings change each chapter so watch out for that! If you don't like yaoi...

 

Duo: who wouldn't like yaoi?

 

Heero: Relena lovers!

 

Shini: *glares at the two boys*... Don't Read and No Flames!

 

R.F.O

 

Chapter 2 - 1x3 2+4

 

Relena left the safety of the Preventers and headed down along the road towards the car park where she had parked her favourite colour car.

 

Duo: It isn't pink any more.

 

Quatre: Oh Duo what have you done?

 

Duo: Nothing.

 

Wufei: Yeah right, like the time you told me it *wasn't* you that painted Nataka pink.

 

Duo: I didn't.

 

Wufei: who was it then?

 

Duo: ...

 

ANYWAY! Relena was walking slowly along the road when she heard a familiar voice call Heero's name.

 

Doubling back Relena found herself standing at the entrance to an alleyway. She came face to face with Trowa leaning against the brick wall with Heero knelt down in front of him, Heero's mouth wrapped firmly round Trowa's hard member.

 

Sutica: I thought this was a PG-13?

 

Shini: It is... just MY kind of PG-13.

 

Sutica: Which makes it an R!

 

"Miss Relena? Are you alright?"

 

A rigid Relena turned slowly to face the ex Sandrock pilot holding onto the ex deathscythe pilots hand. Her eyes widen.

 

"HEERO!!!"

 

Relena turned back in time to see Trowa cum in Heero's mouth and watched Heero's throat shallow Trowa down. She felt dizzy and Duo let go of Quatre's hand to catch her as she fell into a dead faint.

 

TBC...

 

Trowa: Wasn't as long as the 1st chapter.

 

Duo: She prefers 1x2 than 1x3!

 

Trowa: Pity.

 

Duo: Hay hands off Heero Is Mine!!!

 

Shini: Well you don't belong to me. *Sniffs*

 

Wufei: That's a good thing. If we did we would all be gay!

 

Zechs: We are all gay.

 

Wufei: I Am Not Gay!!!

 

Shini: Poor thing.

 

Sutica: Denial is the worst sign of all.

 

Trieze: How about a 13x6x5 lemon?

 

Wufei: What? Trieze? I Killed You!!!

 

Trieze: I couldn't leave without a goodbye kiss from my dragon.

 

Wufei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Sutica: Interesting.

 

Duo: Almost feel sorry for the guy.

 

*Everyone watches as Trieze chases Wufei round the room*

 

Shini: I would like to take this moment to declare that I have finally joined the other side!

 

Sutica: Welcome to my world.

 

Shini: Review guys please! This maybe a crazy, stupid, Fu...

 

Sutica: This is a PG-13 remember?

 

Shini: Sorry, Fcuk up fic but I still like feedback!

 

Sutica: So from everyone here,

 

Duo: Till next time!

 

Shini/Sutica/Duo/Quatre: Bye!

 

*************************

 

Sutica: How many of these things are we going to do?

 

Shini: This is Chapter 3, there is 1x5, 6x1, 1x2x3x4x5x6 to come.

 

Sutica: So 3 more parts?

 

Shini: Yep.

 

Quatre: I feel sorry for Relena.

 

Shini: I wouldn't waste your feelings.

 

Quatre: But she didn't really do anything to Heero did she?

 

Zechs: I was wondering why are you horrible to Relena when in truth she hasn't done anything wrong?

 

Shini: It's hard to explain, in the tv series she's alright I just think that us yaoi fans can't stand the thought of 1xR and so we make Relena out to be this obsessive girl and Duo out to be...

 

Duo: The brains and looks of the team.

 

Everyone else: *sweat drops*

 

Shini: Not quite, but something along those lines. Anyway Quatre this chapter is going to make you forget all about Relena!

 

Quatre: What's going to happen?

 

Sutica: I hate to think.

 

Wufei: *Grabs a box of tissues* More limes.

 

Shini: Not just any limes, a 1x4 lime! Just for Sard who I promised a 1x4 lemon too but never got round to writing it for her.

 

Sutica: You aren't very good at this writing fics for friends thing are you?

 

Shini: um... no not really but I did do that 2x5 fic for you.

 

Sutica: *Blushing red* Geezs Shini tell the whole world why don't you?

 

Shini: Hay HEE~RO!

 

Heero: What?

 

Shini: Sutica forced me to do a 2x5 fic for her! Um... Heero?

 

Heero: Omae o Korosu!

 

Shini: Am I the only one noticing a pattern here?

 

Sutica: I don't think Heero likes you that much.

 

Shini: *Glomps Heero* But I love him!!!

 

Everyone else: *Sweat drops* Can we get on with the fic?

 

Shini: Oops Sorry!

 

R.F.O

 

Chapter 3 - 1x4 2x3 5+6

 

Relena woke slowly, her blue eyes scanned the room as she took in her surrounds. She was laying in the bed in one of the many rooms of Quatre's estate. Climbing carefully out of bed she decided she needed to find a phone and get the hell out of there.

 

Duo: Why? This house is an fcuk fest!

 

Sutica: Why do you keep saying fcuk?

 

Shini: Cause you told me off for saying fuc...

 

Sutica: SHINIGAMI195!!!!!

 

Shini: Sorry, sorry, so we swapped the middle letters round to come up with fcuk!

 

Sutica: There is a company called Fcuk isn't there?

 

Shini: Yep! I don’t own the word Fcuk!

 

Relena walked quickly pass a closed door just as the two tenants inside called each others names. She paused for a second to listen.

 

"You are so tight, can I stay here for the night?"

 

"If you want Duo, just shut up and sleep."

 

"Love you too Tro!"

 

Relena quickly hurried away.

 

Sutica: She likes doing that doesn't she?

 

Shini: *Shrugs* doesn't it really matter?

 

Sutica: No.

 

She came to another door. The sound of a table banging on the floor travelled through it and gently she pushed the door open and was speechless to find Wufei painting a picture of Zechs naked!

 

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!!

 

Duo: Nice bod Zechs.

 

Zechs: Thank you 02!

 

Heero: I don't have a nice body?

 

Duo: No you have a perfect body koi.

 

Shini: Pass me the sick bucket please someone!

 

Wufei: You have to change that! I wouldn't paint Zechs naked.

 

Shini: Just like Jack painted Rose in Titanic.

 

Sutica: Looked what happened there. Jack died about four hours later. Shock probably.

 

Shini: I always hated that film.

 

Relena quickly slammed the door shut, she didn't need that image of her brother in her head. So where was that noise coming from? Heading across the corridor she opened the door facing her and the whites of her eyes showed as she watched Heero ass fuck Quatre into the table and in doing so grind the table deep into the floor!

 

Sutica: R R R R R R R R R R R!!!!!

 

Quatre: What's with her?

 

Trowa: This is a R Rated fic now.

 

Shini: It's not that bad, god if a 13 year old doesn't know the word fuck by now they never will!

 

Forgetting the phone, the image of Zechs naked and Duo being buried deep in Trowa, Relena turned on her heel and ran home quickly!

 

TBC...

 

Sutica: Tell me this finishes soon!

 

Shini: It will don't worry!

 

*****************************

 

R.F.O

 

Chapter 4 - 1x5

 

Shini: I would do a 1x5 or 5x1 lemon/lime scene but Wufei has locked himself in my cupboard and refuses to come out until I finish this fic, so naturally Heero and Zechs are cutting my cupboard into pieces in order to fish Wufei out.

 

Duo: Weakling! Wouldn't be able to hold his nose and fuck at the same time any way!

 

Sutica: So we escape the 1x5 chapter.

 

Shini: Don't sound too pleased!

 

Sutica: *dancing* I'm not!

 

Heero: Help here please. I get everyone else's ass and now I want Wufei's ass.

 

Wufei: *muffled* Eep!

 

Quatre: Can't you have Duo again?

 

Heero: *drops wood on Zech's head* Excuse us. DUO!

 

Shini: Oh yes! Another 1x2 lemon!

 

*A dull thump is heard*

 

Zechs: Wufei just fainted!

 

TBC...

 

******************************

 

Sutica: I need to have your brain checked!

 

Shini: Why?

 

Sutica: Cause I'm seriously worried about you.

 

R.F.O

 

Chapter 5 - 1x6 or should that be 6x1?

 

Relena finally arrived home after spending the whole night getting herself pissed at the nearest wine bar. She strolled down towards the master bedroom and rapped on the door once... twice... but getting no reply she pushed the door open and entered.

 

She blinked at the sight of her brother's bare ass as he pumped himself into the body that laid chained beneath him.

 

"Heero!" He moaned as he realised himself deep into his lover's body. Heero's own wordless cry alerted Relena of Heero's own climax and a dull thud sounded across the room.

 

Heero and Zechs looked down at Relena's unconscious form laying in the open doorway.

 

"Oops."

 

TBC...

 

Shini: Good news! I only have the Epilogue to do now!

 

Sutica: But?

 

Shini: It's the 1x2x3x4x5x6 chapter.

 

Sutica: I think we'll live if it gets you to finish this stupid fic which by the way is now R rated for sure!

 

Shini: You don't think that a 13 year old thinks about sex?

 

Sutica: Not two blokes having sex together any way!

 

Shini: I see your point but it's staying a PG-13!!!

 

Sutica: *sweat drops* why do I even bother?

 

Shini: Is it just me or does it seem that Heero has just had sex 4 times in one day?

 

Duo: That's my Hee-Chan, always ready and willing!

 

Shini: You make it sound like a good thing.

 

Duo: It is. Isn't it?

 

Shini: Yes but with other guys it isn't! Heero you are a grade A slut!

 

Heero: *pulls gun out* Omae

 

Shini: yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Omae o Korosu!

 

Sutica: She loves playing with fire don't she?

 

*******************************

 

Shini: I'm not upset to see this fic go!

 

Sutica: What were you thinking?

 

Duo: Same thing she thinks every day.

 

R.F.O

 

Epilogue - 1x2x3x4x5x6

 

Relena woke up in the hospital and screamed as six gay men looked down at her.

 

Wufei: Five gay men! I'm not gay.

 

Everyone else: *sweat drops*

 

"Are you feeling better Miss Relena?" Quatre asked from the safety of Wufei's arm.

 

Wufei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!...... Hay this feel quite nice.

 

Quatre: Maybe you'll join me and Trowa tonight?

 

Wufei: *blushes but nods*

 

Duo peeked over Zech's shoulder and smiled down at Relena. "Glad you're awake." Duo then whispered something in Zech's ear that made the ex oz pilot blush and move his hands to hid the fact he was standing in a hospital with a hard on.

 

Heero stalked across the room and ripped Duo off Zechs.

 

"Mine." He growled before snogging Duo long and hard!

 

Sutica: Always 1x2

 

Shini: 'thing wrong with 1x2!

 

Relena laid back on her bed and sighed.

 

"I need a really long holiday!"

 

OWARI

 

*A loud cheer goes up*

 

Shini: Hay guys, I thought this would be funny but it went wrong. Really wrong. I needed to do something that would relax me and this was all I could think of! I hope I haven't freaked too many people out! Thanks to any one if they have reviewed. And if you haven't then review please!

I would like to say thanks to the g boys and Relena for being such good sports and a big thanks to Sutica for standing beside me through everything.  Bye Minna-sama!