A MEMORIAL FOR JACKI (GENE) STOCKMAN

JESSIE GENE STOCKMAN was born in Duluth, Minnesota on May 8, 1943. The oldest of six children born (and a cousin that was like a sister) to Jack and Peg Smith, JACKI was named after her father "Jesse" and Gene Autry but to family and friends she was always known as JACKI. Allen told me that JACKI learned her role as a caregiver at a very early age, helping to take care of her three younger brothers as well as her cousin that was like a little sister. JACKI grew up in Duluth and attended school there. Her extended family was very close knit and although JACKI’s father worked at a steel mill, her uncles and aunts all resided on farms. This was a delight to JACKI, who enjoyed visiting with aunts, uncles and cousins and helping with the animals and other chores around the farm.

Allen Stockman met JACKI when she was 18 and he was 19. Some of JACKI’s aunts and uncles had recommended to her Mom and Dad that the family attend Haven Evangelical Church in Duluth. When JACKI and her brothers and sister attended, she quickly caught Allen’s eye. Allen told me that he had already known several members of JACKI’s extended family before he ever met her because of those church connections. He also said that since he had not enjoyed many positive family relationships when he was growing up, the warm and strong ties evident in JACKI’s family was one of the things that attracted him and helped to draw them closer together.

Although Allen already had a strong feeling that JACKI might be the special person for his life, their relationship didn’t progress beyond friendship until Allen left to attend a Bible College in Minneapolis the next fall in 1963. Allen said the old adage, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" certainly was true for them and they kept the postal service busy carrying letters back and forth between Minneapolis and Duluth. They really got to know each other through the practice of almost daily correspondence and when the relationship deepened, Allen also began to make the 2 ½ hour trip back to Duluth almost every weekend. By March of 1964, JACKI and Allen were making plans to be married late the next summer and Allen decided not to return for to College for his third quarter that year but to work and save up money instead.

Faith was always very important to Allen and JACKI, they met at church and together they agreed that God must remain at the centre of their relationship. As a result they prayed a lot both about their relationship but also about the timing of their marriage. They were planning a late summer wedding, but when the Pastor at their church announced that he would be leaving the beginning of June, they moved the date up so that he could officiate. JACKI and Allen were married May 23, 1964 in the church where they had met a little over a year before. They were both firmly convinced that God had led them to be together, a conviction they held throughout their 40 years of marriage.

Church and faith remained a central part of the Stockman’s life together and most of their deep friendships were those they made through church connections, first at Haven Evangelical Church, but later at other churches once they moved away from Duluth. JACKI always had a deep love for children and was usually involved teaching Sunday school or working with Youth or Mid-week programs wherever they lived.

Although this may be jumping ahead somewhat, one of Jacky’s passions was crafts. Whether as a hobby or to further her work with children in Christian Education JACKI excelled at creative arts. She designed countless patterns to be used with Sunday school lessons and was almost always working on some type of handiwork to give as gifts to friends or family. Allen has a whole file cabinet and several boxes that are full of patterns, crafts and supplies.

Following their marriage Allen worked and continued his education with correspondence courses and night school. During that time JACKI took care of the house and their growing family. The Stockman’s first child, Roger, was born in June of 1965. Robb, their second son, was born in October of 1967 during a three year period the Stockman’s lived in Minneapolis while Allen pursued his education. JACKI first began to experience her health problems during that time.

The Stockman’s were back in Duluth in 1970 and the birth of their daughter, Rae, completed the family in June of 1972. During the 70’s Allen and JACKI’s focus was on church and family. In reality, family was always a priority; Allen and JACKI believed their children were gifts from God and that they should raise them with the Christian principles that had meant so much to them. As a result, while Sunday and church activities were always important to Allen and JACKI, their faith took on a deeper dimension and urgency with the addition of family.

Of course not all of their family activities involved church; JACKI helped their children with school work, and was involved with the boys in Cub Scouts when they were young. It would be impossible to list all the ways that JACKI was involved in her children’s lives, suffice it to say that from school projects and craft projects and costumes to family adventures and activities, the Stockman’s always looked on their family as a blessing to be loved and enjoyed.

Even before they had children, JACKI and Allen established a tradition that Sunday was a day to nurture their faith and family relationships. Allen said JACKI never worked and ate most of their Sunday Dinners out so Jacki wouldn't have to cook on Sunday. He always took her out to eat. When the children were old enough the tradition was that the children would take turns choosing an activity following their after church meal. Later once they were back on their own JACKI and Allen would usually go on a Sunday drive to somewhere scenic and relaxing so they could extend their worship experience by enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. Allen and JACKI were still observing that tradition here in Wyoming, where they found it very easy to find relaxing and inspiring drives.

Returning briefly to the ‘70s I should add that in the early ‘70s Allen and JACKI also built two homes together, working side by side.

In the fall of 1974, Allen looked for some extra work to save up funds for Christmas and was hired full time in the field of restaurant management by Country Kitchen. In 1977 Country Kitchen transferred Allen to Vermillion, South Dakota to be the General Manager of their restaurant there. During their stay in South Dakota JACKI also worked at the restaurant as Allen’s Kitchen Manager and they quickly became known as the "Dynamic Duo." As could be expected JACKI and Allen found a good church in South Dakota and got involved supporting its worship and programs.

JACKI missed home and family and so after a year and a half the Stockman’s began to look for a job that would take them back to Duluth and found a position that at least moved them as close as the Twin Cities.

JACKI and Allen were excited because they thought the move offered better educational opportunities for their children. JACKI was always one to put down roots and once they felt like the Twin Cities were home they stayed there for the next 20 years.

In 1980 Allen and JACKI became co-owners of their own Country Kitchen restaurant. Unfortunately about a year later business dropped off when the other business attached to their restaurant closed.

Following their brief adventure with restaurant ownership, Allen continued to work as a restaurant manager and JACKI stayed busy with home and church activities.

When their health continued to deteriorate in the late ‘80s, Allen returned to school for training in computers and office administration and shifted his work to an office environment.

JACKI’s role as a life partner and helpmate are expressed in many ways, but Allen told me how she was his anchor, not only emotionally, but also was always involved in his work and careers. An example of this was when Allen was working as the Librarian at his computer school and JACKI would go with him to the Library on Saturdays to help copy, file, fix bindings, or do whatever was needed.

After the continued deterioration of Allen’s health pushed him into retirement Allen and JACKI were together almost 100% of the time. Some couples have trouble adjusting to that kind of closeness, but not the Stockman’s. JACKI and Allen genuinely enjoyed being together and invested their extra time into family and church. The addition of two grandchildren was a source of great joy to the family and the most difficult part of their move to Wyoming was being so far away from their children and grandchildren.

Although JACKI didn’t want to move away from family, the Stockman’s did move to Wyoming and the Big Horn Basin in March of 2001 because of the benefits of our climate for their health concerns. JACKI had her first heart attack in 1998 and it was then that the doctors discovered she was also suffering from Congestive Heart Failure. Despite the doctors’ warnings, JACKI had a tendency to ignore her health needs and focus on the needs of her family instead. She resisted moving to Wyoming for her health, however, when it turned out that our climate was also a godsend to Allen, she agreed that it was good for her health also, however, still wanting to be by her Bradley and Belinda.

Once Allen and JACKI settled here in 2001 the nature of their partnership began to shift with Allen doing much more to take care of JACKI. He didn’t mind of course, he was happy to have the opportunity to give back some of the wonderful care and support that she had given him through the years.

Even after 38 years of marriage Allen said their relationship continued to deepen and they continued to learn and love new things about each other. JACKI told Allen not long ago that she loved him even more than when they fell in love. This past May on the 23rd, JACKI and Allen celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary with the knowledge that every day together was precious. Every day was precious for this couple in love and JACKI was called home to be her Lord on June 23rd, exactly one month after their 40th anniversary celebration.

As we make the transition from thinking about JACKI to grasping and celebrating the promise of faith I would like to read one more passage from scripture. In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul writes the following about the importance of love.1 Corinthians 13

I haven’t used those wonderful verses at many Memorial Services, but from JACKI’s story you can understand why Allen felt they were so appropriate. In many ways today’s service is a witness to the importance of love. It’s love that keeps a family together through trials. It is because we miss the love of those who are gone, that our hearts get weighed down with sorrow. And yet it is also our faith in God’s love that can give us comfort, confidence and hope when we remember and miss departed loved ones

I read several Bible passages earlier because at times of loss, the promise of God offers our greatest source of comfort because in Scripture we find the promise that God loves us and God's love has defeated the power of death.

From the Old Testament through Revelation, the scriptures promise that God loves us and is always with us.

In Psalm 139 the Psalmist spoke of our inability to escape God's loving and guiding presence.

I read the familiar and comforting words of the 23rd Psalm, which speak of God's love through the analogy of a Shepherd's care.

Shaped by the experience of our Lord's resurrection, in the Gospels and Epistles we find numerous guarantees that God has destroyed the power of death, and are reassured that a loving Jesus invites us to share this victory.

If we have faith in God's word, then we know that because God's love never ends while our loved ones may be gone from our sight they are never gone from God’s loving and life-giving care. This is an important message for this afternoon because we can’t deny the reality of death since we are here to remember a friend and loved one who is gone. We can’t deny our mortality but the scriptures promise that through the power of God’s love there is something more, something better ahead for us than just the grave. In the verses I read from Paul’s Second letter to the Corinthians Paul likened the body we inhabit in this life to a tent. Anyone that camps knows how welcome a tent can be in bad weather. Tents are great. They can take a beating in many ways, but they are not built to last.

In God's sight, our bodies are like tents; they wear out even as JACKI’s body wore out. At first that might seem like bad news, but Paul goes on in this same reading to declare that because of God’s love and Christ’s resurrection, death shouldn’t be a cause for despair. Paul states clearly that through the grace of God, "If the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens." As Paul comforts the Corinthians he contrasts our temporary earthly existence with the eternal home God offers and reassures us that death really isn’t the end. Even as Paul spoke of God’s love overcoming all obstacles in the 8th Chapter of Romans - when we trust in God’s love, faith assures us that when our earthly bodies wear out God will offer us a new home, a new life in God’s loving and eternal presence.

According to our Lord's parting words to his disciples, such a home awaits all who put their trust in him. Remember how Jesus sought to reassure his disciples the evening before his own death telling them in the 14th chapter of John’s gospel, "Let not your hearts be troubled.... In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also...."

There is much we don’t know about heaven and life beyond the grave. I’m not really sure what I can tell you, except that the scriptures assure us that the future offers life in the presence of our loving Lord and that this is something we can count on because God’s love cannot be deterred or destroyed.

JESSIE STOCKMAN, wife, mother, Church School teacher, and a woman of faith are now in God's keeping. As we remember her in the days ahead let us thank God for JACKI’s time with us and for the comfort of the promise that she is now enjoying new life in God’s heavenly home.

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Melody “I love you Because” was played at the Wedding of Allen and Jacki

With special thanks to Pastor David Hunter for compiling this Memorial.

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MEMORIAL MESSAGE FOR

JESSIE "JACKI" GENE STOCKMAN