 |
| - One day in Heaven, God was missing for 6 days. The angels searched and searched for him but couldn't find him. On the seventh day the finally found him resting. "Where have you been?", they asked. "Come here," he said, "I want you to see what I have created." The angels looked puzzled and asked, "What is it?" "It's called Earth, and I've put LIFE on it. It's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?", they replied, still quite confused. "Yes, balance. Over here in America there will be great wealth and opportunity, while over here in Bangladesh there will be famine." He continued, "Over here in Central Africa it will be arid and hot, while here in Northern Europe it will be cold." He went on, "Over here in Europe there will be a renaissance while over here in South America, people will live with little or no technology." "And over here in Hawaii it will be a paradise. The people will be smart, friendly and humble." "Hawaii sounds great, but what about BALANCE?", the angels asked. God replied, "Wait until you see the loud-mouth, whiney-ass, SOB's I put in Chapel Hill!" |
| A few more... |
| - Two State fans were standing at a bar. The one fan said to the other : "You know, Carolina fans are such assholes!" A man walked up to them and with a mad look on his face said : "I find that statement offensive!" One of the State fans replied : "Oh, you must be a Carolina fan." "No" the man said : "I'm an asshole!" |
| - Einstein goes to a party. He introduces himself to a stranger and asks what the man's I.Q . is. "180", replies the man proudly. Einstein is delighted and says, "Oh a Duke graduate, we will discuss recent medical advances, I'll be right back." He then introduces himself to another stranger and asks what her I.Q is. "200", says the woman. Again, Einstein is delighted and says, "Good, a Wake Forest graduate. We will debate theology and God's role in the universe. I'll be right back." Einstein then encounters a distinguished looking man and asks his I.Q. "220", says the man. "At last", exclaims Einstein, "An NCSU graduate! We will have a fine time discussing the grand unification theory of the universe and quantum physics. I'll be right back!" Einstein goes into the restroom and sees a unkempt drunk puking in the toilet. Curious he asks the man's I.Q. "100", the man proudly claims. "How 'bout them Heels!", replies Einstein. |
| - It was the day of the big football game, Florida State at UNC. 20 minutes before game time, the Seminoles had not arrived at Kenan Stadium. The officials quickly got on the phone and found out that their plane had been delayed and the bus was stuck in traffic. An hour went by and the fans were getting impatient. Finally, the refs made the decision to start the game without the FSU team. Six minutes later the Tarheels took a 7-0 lead. |