| Funny Hitchikers quotes. |
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| "`...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything.' `But the plans were on display...' `On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.' `That's the display department.' `With a torch.' `Ah, well the lights had probably gone.' `So had the stairs.' `But look you found the notice didn't you?' `Yes,' said Arthur, `yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".'" -- Arthur singing the praises of the local council planning department. "`Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.' `Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the "Reader's Digest". They've got a page for people like you.'" -- Ford convincing Arthur to drink three pints in ten minutes at lunchtime. "`Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'" -- Arthur experiences the improbability drive at work. "`If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.'" -- Zaphod. "`Right,' said Ford, `I'm going to have a look.' He glanced round at the others. `Is no one going to say, "No you can't possibly, let me go instead"?' They all shook their heads. `Oh well.'" -- Ford attempting to be heroic whilst being seiged by Shooty and Bangbang. "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- The Book just racapping what happened in the last book. "`I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.'" -- Zaphod being cool. "`You ARE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' `Yeah,' said Zaphod, `but don't shout it out or they'll all want one.' `THE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' `No, just A Zaphod Bebblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?' `But sir,' it squealed, `I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said you were dead...' `Yeah, that's right, I just haven't stopped moving yet.'" -- Zaphod and the Guide's receptionist. "Zaphod grinned two manic grins, sauntered over to the bar and bought most of it." -- Zaphod in paradise. "The main reception foyer was almost empty but Ford nevertheless weaved his way through it." -- Ford making his way out of Milliways whilst under the influence of enough alchol to make a rhino sing. "`The first ten million years were the worst,' said Marvin, `and the second ten million, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.'" -- Marvin reflecting back on his 576,000,003,579 year career as Milliways' car park attendent. "`Incidentally,' he said, `what does teleport mean?' Another moment passed. Slowly, the others turned to face him. `Probably the wrong moment to ask,' said Arthur, `It's just I remember you use the word a short while ago and I only bring it up because...' `Where,' said Ford quietly, `does it say teleport?' `Well, just over here in fact,' said Arthur, pointing at a dark control box in the rear of the cabin, `Just under the word "emergency", above the word "system" and beside the sign saying "out of order".'" -- Arthur finding an escape route from a certain death situation. "He stood up straight and looked the world squarely in the fields and hills. To add weight to his words he stuck the rabbit bone in his hair. He spread his arms out wide. `I will go mad!' he announced." -- Arthur discovering a way of coping with life on Prehistoric Earth. "`... then I decided that I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic.' Arthur cleared his throat, and then did it again. `Where,' he said, `did you...?' `Find a gin and tonic?' said Ford brightly. `I found a small lake that thought it was a gin and tonic, and jumped in and out of that. At least, I think it thought it was a gin and tonic.' `I may,' he addded with a grin which would have sent sane men scampering into the trees, `have been imagining it.'" -- Ford updating Arthur about what he's been doing for the past four years. |