This Thing
it does not sleep, it does not live
it does not breathe and it does not
it takes me inside, and holds me
until i am used to it so much that i start liking it.
once it has me it does not go away
once i start liking it i dont want to leave
and i begin hating everything around it
everything around it which i once loved
its like being in my room
falling asleep, not wanting to wake up
to the same feeling which made me cry
alone
at night.
its like anticipating someone so much that you dont care about anything else
there is a tickle in my head
i have to slap myself
hearing that car sound, when its not there
but hearing it over and over
not wanting to be dissapointed
not believing dissapointment
and finally refusing dissapointment
until it locks me up
and throws away the key
for someone to find
and that somone is me
but im paralysed, chained
and so i lay there, unconscious
not wanting anyone, anything, anywhere
just to be in the dark with
no light
no sound
no eyes
no nose
no ears
silence
darkness
no breath
it is something which takes you
and holds you
and even though you want to get away from it
it is with you
telling you lies, hurting you, loved ones
but i want to know
how to kill it.