poetrycops

1.
Poetry Cops love mirrored sunglasses. When you look into them all you can see is your own sweaty face staring back. I got pulled over by one wearing glasses like that. Over Joe Satriani pumping through my car stereo I heard his siren. I pulled over. As I fumbled around for my license and diploma, I looked into my rearview mirror and saw him standing behind my car writing on a clip board with this big grin on his face, the star on his chest sparkling.

2.
Poetry Cops love readings, "open mikes," and coffee houses. They usually sit in the back because they come in late. They always laugh at the wrong time or cough when things get too personal. Mostly, they just take notes and monitor the flashing numbers on their radar screens.

3.
Poetry Cops love politics. Not being political enough will get you busted. Poems about suicidal, drug-addicted brothers carry a $90 fine. Poems about abusive grandfathers get $500. Poems about abused-mothers-who-hate- their-husbands-but-won't-divorce mean 3 days in jail. Poems about the loneliness of the artist are a felony (1 to 5 years depending on length). And poems about poems get you the maximum: Death.

4.
That day I got busted on the highway I got my 24th ticket. I had violated Article IV of the "Chicano Poets Identification Act: Failure to include a reference to Aztlan."
The Poetry Cops are making a killing off of me.