FairyTale

Fairy Tale

If it was me? I don't think I would be able to take it. How can he stand the way she probably redecorated the castle? Chandeliers, pink walls, french doors with gold handles. Kenny G on the CD player. Mirrors everywhere.
     And the clothes. I can just see him stepping into his walk-in closet and staring at hundreds of ruffled white silk shirts with no buttons and brown leotards. Or maybe she buys him purple sweaters and Dockers. Or black Armani suits with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck ties.
     Then there'd be the weekly hair appointments. Tune ups.
     "His hair was down to his waist and all of it split ends," she says to Rene, the stylist.
     "Oh, I know girlfriend. Beastly, just beastly," he says. Snip, snip, snip.
     I go crazy just thinking about all the hours he must spend in the castle rec room. The laps in the pool. Morning and evening jogs. All for her. He was not born beautiful. He has to work at it.
     If it was me I think I'd jump up on the dinner table one night between servings of tofu and tempeh and let out a roar so loud it would shatter every mirror in the castle. I'd reach down, grab the bottle of wine, chug it whole and burp a burp that would rise through the dinning room like a light and effervescent green blimp. Then I'd pull my hair out till it reached my ankles and run out into the night howling and screaming. I wonder... if she were to look for me, where would she would find me? In the muddy woods behind the castle? On some rocky shore crying with the moon?
     It's pretty. It sure is pretty.