| Scene 19 |
| L = Lister M = Man <Lister puts an ad in the local paper: "Life companion wanted - male seeks another male (pref. homophobic too) to have long nights with and maybe get 'freaky' - no time wasters!" after no replys for a few months, Lister finally gets a letter telling him to meet a "tall dark handsome man" in the local pub> <Lister walks into the pub and takes a seat at the bar. Man walks over to Lister and introduces himself> M - hello there....you must be Listy Wisty? L - yes thats me *beams* i presume you are the "tall dark handsome man", no? M - yeah, thats me! L - lets go get freaky then! M - well ill have to see the goods first... L - oh you mean my Monster?! no problem... <Lister fumbles around in his trousers for a while with no success and finally states "oh i remember what i did with it..". Lister reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his infamous small gherkin> L - right thats that, will it be your house or mine? ;) M - what the fuck? what the hell is that?! <Man points to Listers groin where he has cleverly attached his gherkin to a piece of elastic and threaded it through his jeans> L - my penis. why? do you think your gonna have problems taking it baby?! M - eurgh, you sicko! thats it, im off! <Man turns and begins to walk away> M - *SHRIEK* what was that?? L - what? M - you just tried to take me up the ass with that didnt you?! L - er......no....? M - yes you did you freak! L - ill have you know im homophobic! M - get away from me you sicko! <Man leaves> L - oh well, i never really liked him anyway *sniff* <Lister is left once again, alone, unloved and yes thats right kids, jerkin his gherkin!> |
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