| Now you may wonder exactly what in the world this is!! well..the story starts from this afternoon (4/3/2002) i was sat in history pretending to do work when chris passed a piece of paper to me with the title "What were the aims of the League of Nations?" and underneath it lay several lines of what we call "chris humour". i wrote a few lines underneath, and we kept passing it back and forth. Now most of you will probably not get many of these jokes, but i thought id put them here anyway. So here you are, you lucky little people, the REAL aims of the League of Nations!! |
| � Free Chicken McNuggets with every Happy Meal � Blue inflatable sofas for everyone � A full size monster truck for �3.99 with every purchase of a pair of trousers that are as ridiculously tight as Chaston�s � Free Anti-Chulk spray provided by the Union of Oppressed and Abused Students (UOAS) � Weight loss programmes for Tootul � Forehead reduction cream for Heath � A copy of the novel �How Not To Smell Like Cheese� for Brummi � Lots of porn � The total annihilation of France � The assassination of Will Smith � Hanging of Afro � Irish � Americans (Paddy-Yanks) � Mr Treen to be shot � twice � in the eye � A phone help guide for Tootul � A copy of the book �How To Grow A Penis And Not Lie About It Being 7 And A Half Inches� for Mullen � A copy of the book �How To Be Least Like Chris That Is Humanly Possible� for everyone in the world � The assassination of Melissa Auf de Maur � A vibrator for Chaston (we know how he likes it up the arse � in a field) � Free invitations to a big party being held by the UOAS where there will be the premiere showing of the video from the death of The Chulk � Tampons for Mullen (in case he has anymore �accidents�) � Free copy of the book �How To Kiss Without Drooling All Over Someone� for Jonny � More sellotape for Mick Jaggers lip � Find Chaston a �good time� e.g.: - the back of Mr Treens convertible with Mr Treens dog � An Idiots Guide To Indie Music for Lisa � The immediate imprisonment of Mme Finch and refusal to release unless she migrates to Cambodia � A life-size cutout of Mullen for Sam including groin with real pumping action. � A pamphlet entitled �So You�re Going To Be Alone For The Rest Of Your Life� for Lister. � A copy of the book �How To Identify A Woman� for Jonny and Richard so they don�t make the same mistake twice. � A copy of the book �Why You Should Never Bum History Teachers In The Closet During Break-time� for Chaston � A copy of the book �How Not To Be A Rebel� for Tootul � A copy of the book �Why You Should Not Be So Selfish By Getting A Monster Truck Impounded After A Killing Spree In Japan� for Chris � A report on "Why Brummi Would Make A Better Girlfriend Than Melissa Auf de Maur" for Dave Grohl |