09/08/2001

Denn'ryiel's Room, White Tower, Tar Valon

       Denn'ryiel's room is rather large for a servant's. A feather bed is
against the west wall, facing the east window in order to catch the sun's
morning rays. Plants of all variety grow in pots throughout the room. Some
of them don't appear to be indoor plants, and a few flowers look completely
unique. They all combine to give a rather fragrant aroma, that becomes
apparent the moment anyone crosses the threshold into the room. A hearth
against the north wall provides warmth during the cold seasons. There's one
half-filled book shelf, but nothing else that would interest a Brown Sedai.
An oaken drawer with images of leaves carved into it sits next to the
window and holds her clothing. The only other furniture in the room are a
couple of birch chairs, a changing screen in one corner of the room, and a
well made Saferi rug covering the floor near the chairs and door.


The the very early hours of morning (the sun isn't even up yet), there
comes a light knock on the door, then someone opens it to peeks his head
inside. A voice comes very softly, but most likely easily recognizable as
Neelkan, "Denn? Ya in 'ere?"

There's a small amount of light coming from the occaisionally crackling
coals in the room's hearth. A sleepy "Hmm?" sound comes from the bed, where
Denn begins to shift out of slumber.

Neelkan frowns lightly, berating himself on deciding to drop in so early in
the day (or late in the night, however one wants to see it), but then he
reminds himself that he shouldn't wait on this any longer. He steps inside
and lets his eyes adjust as he leans against the now shut door. "Denn? It's
m'. Neelkan."

"Neelkan?" Denn breathes, taken by surprise. "Hold on, I'll light a
candle," she says hurriedly as she scrambles out of bed. She's wearing a
simple nightgown, though it's a little hard to see in this light. "Light,
it's been..."

Reaching up to scratch at hair, Neelkan mutters softly, "I know. It's been
a while." He feels an urge to apologize, but he's trying hard not to think
about everything that happened since he went to Jaramide. "But I'm back
now." In more ways than just physically.

Denn'ryiel's smile lights up about the same time as a candle does in her
hands. She sets it in a holder before turning back to the Gaidin. "It's
alright. I'm just glad you're back, and in one piece." She looks quite
nervous, not knowing what to say. "How long ago did your coma break?"

There's a long pause before Neelkan says reluctently, "A few days ago. I've
spent e'ery moment since recoverin'." He still looks a little worse for
wear, but at least he's standing. In some ways, it's likely she can tell
the recovering was emotional as much as physical. "I would've come t' see
ya earlier, but..." Two days ago he probably would have ended up crying, or
something unmanly, and he already did that more than he wanted to with
Kaomi looking on.

Denn'ryiel suddenly notices Neelkan's condition. "Please, let me help you
sit," she says, as she moves to help Neelkan towards a couch. "I would have
come down to see you earlier, but my information about your condition was
limited to whatever I could press Wyntere to tell me." Though apologetic
and almost bitter about that, finally seeing the Gaidin has largely
overwhelmed those and other emotions.

Neelkan nods slowly, moving to the couch. His movement isn't quite as lithe
as usual, but he's moving. More than one could say a week ago. It's his
muscles and their month long stillness that is the problem. "I didn't e'en
know what happened t' m' 'til after. I imagine 'ey just didn't want ya
worryin'." There was, he learned, a very slim chance that what they did to
bring him back would even work at all.

Denn'ryiel sighs and nods her head. She's not going to get upset about what
others did and didn't tell her; this should be a festive occaision--or at
least a happy one. "Can I get you anything? Something to drink?" she asks.

"Ye'h." Neelkan pauses and reaches into his coat to pull out a small
package. "Put 'is in mine. It's some stuff the blo-- the Yellows gave m'.
Supposed t' help with my energy 'n all." He shrugs, and hands it over.
While she's getting the drink together, he adds, "I.. can tell ya want
happened if ya want." He'd rather not talk about it, but he's willing to.

"Let me see... milk, right?" Denn asks, before turning around to reveal her
joke in her smile. She sets up a tea kettle and starts the water boiling.
"If you're comfortable telling it, I'd like to hear what happened. I admit,
I wasn't told much."

Neelkan grimaces a little at the mention of milk, shaking his head about as
vigorously as he can manage. At least until he sees it for the joke that it
was, and smiles lightly, looking a tad sheepish. At least until he has to
steel himself to tell the story. "I went t' Jaramide with a lil' present
f'r Graendal in case I got captured, which I did. Aparently she didn't like
it very much, 'n used it on m' after she survived it. It was a ter'angreal
Kaomi made. It was a bracelet 'at simulated the Accepted Test, 'r 'at's
what Kaomi told m'. Blood 'n ashes, I don't see why anyone would e'er use
'at f'r a test..." he shakes his head. He's getting beyond the point.
"Basically, I failed." The last part is added with a shrug, as if it
doesn't matter, but from the sound of his voice, it does matter. A lot.

Denn'ryiel walks back towards the couch and sits down next to Neelkan. "I'm
sorry, but you're alright, which is the most important thing. Most of us,
we never bring our tests up once their done. Success feels too much like
failure, often."

"Kaomi brought m' back usin' the Dream." Neelkan says softly, but he does
nod at the last bit. He knows how bad he feels for the first two arches,
the ones he didn't fail, but the third one that he was stuck in for a
month... "I know it wasn't real, but..." He closes his eyes and tilts his
face towards the ceiling. "I want t' say I'm sorry."

Denn'ryiel smiles softly and shakes her head. She's about to reply when the
kettle goes off. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Neelkan. I know you have
responsibilities, and that you did your best to come back." She gives an
apologetic glance as she gets up to go finish preparing the tea.

"No.. I have a lot t' b' sorry f'r. 'n not just what happened in 'at
ter'angreal." Neelkan forces himself to sit up and open his eyes. He's
going to have to look at her while he says this, bracing himself. "Denn.. I
can't b' yer Gaidin." Maybe he should have waited til after she gave him
the hot tea before going into this.

Confusion appears on Denn's face, as she folds open the package and empties
it into Neelkan's glass. "Oh..." she says, walking back to the couch, still
looking somewhat stunned. She hands him the glass and sits back down
slowly, as she waits for him to continue.

Neelkan pauses to take a drink, just glad he didn't end up with the glass
over his head (not that he thinks she would do that really, but it's the
whole 'women bad' thing in his head causing the though). "I still want t'
b' able t' protect ya, 'n I can d' 'at as the Amyrlin's Gaidin." He can
protect everyone in the Tower in that position. "'n ya know 'at I care
'bout ya. The pro'lem is I.." he closes his eyes. She's going to kill him.
Any woman would. "I'm goin' t' ask Zaidah t' marry m' today. She doesn't
know 'is yet, 'n I don't know if she's e'en gonna say yes 'r thump m' with
'er staff, but I had t' tell ya. I didn't want ya t' 'ear 'bout it in a
rumor." He opens his eyes, expecting to get asked to leave, or even thrown
out.

The White Sedai's eyes turn into saucers, and despite the limited lighting
it's easy to see the color drain from her face. Her glass falls from her
hands and into her lap, yet she hardly notices. She remains frozen this way
for a moment or two in time. Then is a sudden movement, Denn gets up and
turns away, walking towards the hearth. "Please go," she says quietly,
trying to muster control in her voice. Before all she wanted was an
explination for why he was gone. Now, there's nothing she would fear more.

"I'm sorry." Neelkan says softly, drinking the tea glass as empty as
possible before setting it down. He pushes himself up, with effort, and
starting towards the door. "I'll.. b' 'round if ya want.. I.." He stops
speaking. This isn't helping. All he wants to do is make everything better,
but... "I'm sorry," he moves about as fast as he can manage right now (no
where near as fast as normal though) towards the door.

Denn'ryiel lowers herself to her knees; not as though her legs failed her,
but too quickly to be considered graceful. Her head hangs down, and at the
"I'm sorry," her shoulders rise and fall slightly. She doesn't speak
another word.