06/09/2001

The door to Neelkan's room opens quietly. Zaidah never was big on the whole
knocking thing. She steps in and just as quietly closes the door behind
her. She doesn't like this. She doesn't like it at all. A lone Gaidin?
Going into Jaramide to possible get captured and deliver some ter'angreal
to a Forsaken? If she thought there was any chance at all she could talk
him out of it... or maybe just tie him up so he -couldn't- go... she would
take it. But he's about as pig-headed as men come, so all she can do.. is
try and make sure he comes back. "Neelkan," she says softly... whether the
door opening got his attention or not.

When the female Gaidin enters, she finds Neelkan packing a saddle bundle.
He's got some regular traveling clothes on, dark colors. Seems he was
planning on leaving right away. He glances over to look at who entered, and
looks relieved when he sees it's Zai. He really didn't want it to be
someone who didn't already know he was leaving. He'd rather like to leave
without making a scene. "Zai. Is 'ere somethin' ya need?" He runs a hand
through his hair, then starts over to some clothes he has laid out and
picks them up to pack them as well.

"Yes." She doesn't make a move just yet. Instead she watches him while he
packs. After a few moments without continuing she steps closer to him, her
Gaidin cloak rippling invisibly in the breeze created by her movement. "Or
rather... someone." She takes a deep breath, and then another step.
"Neelkan... I've never been very good at this. I don't like feeling like..
the world is going to come crashing down around me if you don't come back
but... I do. You don't-" She casts her gaze to the side and sighs again,
"you don't have to say anything. I know that you..." no, it's probably best
not to go there. Instead she slides an arm out from under her cloak and
reaches out to touch his cheek if he'll let her. "I wasn't kidding, when I
said I would come after you. I wish you would let me come with you... or...
go in your stead..."

The clothing he's packing seems to mostly be travel clothes, but he has put
in one of the nicer sets that he bought when Wyn was in her 'Wanna see Neel
all dressed up' phase. Neelkan's adding that just in case he has to play as
a person of influence. He stops as she starts to speak again and looks up
towards her, putting down the last set of clothes he has laid out. When she
says he doesn't have to say anything, he must have takened that serious,
because he's very quiet, just watching her. He's not really silent because
he wants to be, but more because he isn't really sure what to say. Dense
sometimes, ya know. He doesn't pull away from her hand on his cheek, and he
glances down for a second, then back to look at her again. Finally he seems
to fish up some words to say, "Ya know ya have t' stay 'ere..." He won't
say why. She'd probably break his nose.

"Why? And don't give me any horse swallop about protecting Kaomi. She could
probably protect me better than I her. There are dozens of unbonded Gaidin
who could do the job just as well." She might break his nose... or she
might just be reasonable about the whole thing... no, ok that's not likely.
Gently, Zaidah runs her thumb along the line of his mouth. "And if you lie
to me I'll kick your ass. Got it?" She doesn't seem stern though. If she's
anything at all it's... sad. Like when she thought she was going to get
kicked from the Tower. Whether he goes.. or she does, the result is the
same, and it kills her that she's fallen -this- far from what she used to
consider grace.

"Zai.. I just... I need t' know.." Neelkan pulls his face away from her
hand now, but only because he was starting to make him want to stay, for at
least a night. He looks away, down towards his pack. "I need t' know 'at
yer here. I know 'at ya can take care of yerself, 'n 'at 'is trip would b'
no more dangerous t' ya than it will b' f'r m'... 'n if it was t' anywhere
else, I'd let ya come with m' in an instant. I just... if I have t' worry
'bout ya..." He closes his eyes now, his hands closing into tight fists
that cause his knuckles to whitten. "I just need to know that you're safe."
She gonna hit him now?

Silence greets him. A long, agonizing silence. And since his eyes are
closed he can't see the expression that crosses her face. The hands of a
lady should be soft and delicate. They shouldn't have to lift anything
heavier than a wine glass, but Zaidah's are calloused from hours of
practice, and those hands now grip the front of his shirt, but instead of
trying to throw him across the room, or decking him or even yelling at
him... she kisses him. And... well... now that both her arms are out it's
hard to hide the fact that.. there was a very good reason she wore the
cloak -around- her. Apparently her plans do not include him leaving on
schedule. Her grip on his shirt tightens as if she's resisting the very
strong urge to kick the ever living crap out of him, but resist it she
does, and pulls back a little... teary eyed, not that she would ever admit
to it. "Then I'll stay..." Her hands loosen their grip, but don't release
him entirely. "I... Neel... I love you." There, she said it. She's said it
before but... that doesn't keep it from being the three most difficult
combined words in her vocabulary (with I'm sorry running a close second).

While she's silent, Neelkan thinks over all the things he just said. If she
went with him, yeah, he could protect her, and she could protect him.
Mutual protection. And two doing a job is better than one... it's logical
and all that. But when was he ever logical? All he can seem to think about
is the thought of her being in danger. And if anything happened to her
while he was there... Though if anything happens to her while he's gone
he'll feel just as bad. This is a lose, lose situation. And then of course
she has to interupt his thoughts. His eyes stay closed as she kisses him,
and he returns the kiss. Then she breaks the kiss and his eyes open, to...
see why she was wearing the cloak. He opens his mouth to say something, but
whatever it is he was going to say gets killed in is throat when she says
those difficult words. There is even a mouth hanging open moment. Until he
closes it and blinks a few times. Then words. "Zai, I.. I know. I love you
too." He offers a weak smile. A few years (heck, even a few months ago)
that would have been the most difficult thing for him to say, but... for
some reason it isn't that difficult for him anymore.

For an instant Zaidah just stands there, not sure if she heard right. She
almost asks him to say it again, but then decides better of it. Since when
has she cared about pushing her luck? Well... since him. She takes a step
back, letting go of him, smiling bitter sweetly. "Stay... Neelkan. Just for
tonight," she whispers softly. "You can leave tomorrow..." She reaches up
and slides the cloak off her shoulders, letting it crumple at her feet...
making them invisble. Stepping forward again she places her palms on his
chest. "Stay with me." It is not often this woman pleads with anyone for
anything... but she's doing it now, with words, with actions... with the
look in her eyes... Raeth can wait a few more hours... right?

"I..." Neelkan starts. He should protest. He really should get moving at
night. Less people will notice him leaving at night. He should..
definately... Oh, to Shayol Ghul with it. He leans forward and kisses her,
hands moving up to grasp her face and neck. His hands start to slide down,
then he breaks it and says, "Just, let me.. uh.. clear off the bed first."
And he probably should get out of these clothes too, but one step at a time
here.

Zaidah's first impluse is to just pull the covers up and dump all his stuff
onto the floor that way. But she doesn't. That would be rushing, and when
you want the night to last forever... then rushing is a bad thing. So...
instead she lets him clear, while she moves to stand behind him, wrapping
her arms around him and pressing her cheek against his shoulderblade. Yes,
removing his clothes would be a good thing, and she has to fight the urge
to reach for his knife and slice them off... but resist it she does,
letting her hands wander other places instead. Like down his chest, and up
his sides and down his arms and up into his hair.. just to be distracting
without... being -too- distracting.

You don't have to be very distracting to distract Neelkan. He's pretty...
distractable. Especially where Zaidah is conserned. He wraps up the bundle,
ties it up, and rolls it off the bed and onto the ground. And he does it a
little hastily, but it's better than just dumping it on the floor and
spilling the contents. Then he'd have to pack again in the morning. And I
think they'd both rather get to lay in bed as long as possible, eh? With
the bed cleared off, he turns around to look at her again, reaching his
hands up to start unbuttoning off his coat. Somehow he's able to keep his
eyes on her face, for the most part. Some guys do have restraint after all.
Somewhat.

Impressive. Most impressive. Poor Kaomi. This probably isn't what she needs
right now, but Zaidah certainly isn't thinking about her. She's wrapped up
in the whole 'he might go to Jaramide and die.. or worse' thing, and can
you blame her? She smiles softly, wrinkling up slightly the scar marring
her the left side of her face, and looks up into his eyes while he
unbuttons the coat and then she kisses him. It is the kiss of a
quasi-desperate woman, just barely restraining herself from shoving him
down on the bed and getting it on, but somehow that restraint just serves
to make it more tender, and more meaningful. She helps him slide the coat
off before grasping the hem of his shirt to gently pull it over his head,
reluctantly parting lips for only as long as it would take to achieve that
task. "Neelkan..." Why does she feel like she wants to cry? Well that's an
easy question to answer, but she resists that urge as well, instead forcing
herself to live in this moment, and revel in the sight of him, and his
scent, and his closeness, the warmth of his body. She drinks them all in as
if they were the sweetest wine she's ever tasted.

((( Fade )))


After that very... long night, Neelkan was the first to wake up. Probably
has something to do with the fact that he's never been one to exactly sleep
soundly. He watched her sleep for a little while, watching the curve of her
mouth and the scar that highlighted her cheek. At first, he didn't like the
scar, but now he doesn't even notice it. It's just a part of her. Like a
mole, or her hair and eyes. It's just something that makes her Zaidah. As
soon as the sun peeks through the windows of his room, he lets out a sigh
and starts to pull himself out of the bed. He needs to get washed up and
get dressed. He tries not to wake her up. Not that he was planning to leave
without waking her, just... he wants to let her sleep a little while
longer.

That's sweet but... she would hardly prefer a moment of sleep that could be
better spent in his company. Zaidah moans softly as the warm body... is
suddenly gone, and her fingers curl tightly around the sheet as if it was
his hand. She doesn't wake just yet. Instead she just snuggles closer to
the spot where he was, and buries her face deeper into his pillow. There is
also a soft murmur. It's rather hard to make out but... sounded
suspiciously like "Neelkan". For once he's lucky. Zaidah would kill right
now to have sleeping problems, but even she succumbs to fatigue, especially
since she doesn't have a bond to help ward it off (no pun intended).

At the sound, Neelkan glances over and smiles. She's so... sweet sometimes.
Though he'd never say that alloud. He moves back to the bed and leans down
over it, pressing his lips against her hair, then against the back of her
neck. "I'm just getting cleaned up and stuff." The bond has helped with the
sleep department. One of the things he likes best about it. No more feeling
like he's going to fall over every time he has to wake up earlish because
of some funky dream.

Yeah, Zaidah would -definately- punch him for that. ;) She's not sweet!
She's a bad girl! Ahem. "Mmmkay..." she mumbles in response and inhales
deeply as she snuggles back in. Not that she ever really... sat up.. or
even opened her eyes. He has a few minutes before slowly she actually comes
to consciousness, and cracks open an eyelid and... *gasp!* He's gone! She
sits bolt upright. "Neelkan!" He wouldn't... he wouldn't leave while she
was still... She almost bursts into tears when she sees him, a mixture of
anguish and relief. She doesn't -actually- shed any though. Instead she
just stares at him, the realization that he's actually leaving hitting her
like the butt of Raeth's staff.

By the time she bolts up right, he's already next to the water basin and
splashing water on his face. When she yells out he starts and some of the
water drips down onto his chest. Neelkan turns to see her and says, "Ya
don't have to yell like 'at, firefly." He jokes, saying his old nickname
from when they first met. He tries to play down the expression on her face.
He doesn't want this to turn into something awkward.

No... awkward = bad. Zaidah puts on a brave smile. "You didn't seem to mind
last night." Ahem. Is she trying to get him to blush? Mmmmmmmaybe. She even
winks. See? There, no awkwardness, though after the moment of the joke has
faded well.. she has to struggle with the sorrow that wants to press down
on her. She wraps herself up in his sheet, pulling her knees up to her
chest and watching him. She doesn't... know what else to do. She doesn't
want to leave him alone, but if she starts talking again... things will get
awkward. Maybe that 'Dark One may care' attitude can come in handy...
she'll just pretend it isn't affecting her. Mmmm hmmm. Like that's going to
work.

If she was trying to make him blush, she succeded. Neelkan turns away to
splash somemore water on his face and beginning rubbing a washcloth over
his chest and shoulders. Light, what stories the other Gaidin in the halls
could probably tell after last night. When she doesn't say anything for a
while he turns around to look at her again. Normally he would be a little
self consious about being all... uh... unclothed in front of a woman, but
right now he doesn't seem to care all that much. "Ya know, I was gonna stop
by and see ya before I left... I needed t' give ya somethin'."

Zaidah tilts her head to the side and looks at him curiously. "You were?"
Well that's kind of comforting. She didn't have to come visit him in order
to have seen him again... but she's extremely glad she did. "What is it?"
Focus on one thing at a time Zai. Focus on the gift, or the way the water
rolls down his body or his blush or anything but the fact that in a few
minutes he'll be- well that certainly isn't going to help think about
something else. Burned train of thought.

Not really a gift, but it is something. Neelkan walks over to a few things
set aside next to his bags. The tessen that his sister made for him, and
the arm bracer that Wyntere gave him. His earrings are also there, but he
leaves them sitting there. He's taking those with him. He walks over and
holds the two things out. "I need ya t' watch 'ese f'r m'. I don't want 'em
fallin' int' the wrong hands." When Kaomi handed him that ter'angreal to
possibly deliever to Graendal, the idea that his other things getting taken
away sat heavy in his mind. He would not want to lose the two gifts. The
earrings... well, he just can't leave them behind. And they have less
chance of getting noticed.

Zaidah's eyes widen as she looks at the two objects and then clutches them
to her chest. "I'll guard them with her life." Oh wait, that might not have
been exactly what he wanted. "Er... you know what I mean. I'll keep them
safe for you." And treasure them as if they were him. Before he can move
away though she catches his hand and brings it to her lips. That's all. She
doesn't say anything else, just... lets him continue getting ready. Raeth
is waiting, and Kaomi is waiting and.. the sooner he leaves the sooner he
can come back. Yup, you just keep telling yourself that girl.

"Thanks. 'ey mean a lot t' m'. I just need t' know 'at 'll be here. Just
like I need t' know 'at ya'll b' here." Neelkan leans over and kisses her
again, fingers running through her hair before he straightens. "I expect
'em t' b in good shape when I get back. And don't try to use them." He
grins a little lopsidedly and then pulls away to finish getting washed up.
He doesn't even know if she can use them, but he isn't going to chance her
accidently burning down her room.

And now it's Zaidah's turn to blush. Not because she's embarassed just...
because that was really sweet. Don't try to understand her. She closes her
eyes and kisses him back, only opening them again in time to catch the
grin. She smirks slightly and then hefts the tessen gently. "Don't push
your luck too far pumpkin. I already let you order me around once today..."
She's just teasing though.. well.. half teasing, but she doesn't have the
faintest idea how to use either so she sets them aside. She's not exactly..
intellectually curious.

"I wouldn't want t' d' 'at," he teases, winking as he pulls back again and
finishes getting washed up. Once he's gotten most of last night ... *ahem*
cleaned off, Neelkan starts to pull on his clothing again. Once he's got
the trousers on, he walks over to where the ter'angreal all were and puts
the earrings in. He figures if he gets into the situations where he would
need them to activate, that they could help him in a pinch. Besides, he
really can't stand being seperated from them. And power wise, they're less
of a liability than the other two. If he loses them, well... they're more
of a weakness than a strength.

Zaidah giggl- ahem. No. Zaidah does -not- giggle. She does watch him put
the earrings in though and a soft smile creeps up on her face. "You know
you never did pierce my ears..." Didn't they decide to do that? Way back
when they were both still Proven? Now is a silly time to be thinking of it
though. She shakes her head a little. "A silly thing to be thinking of at a
time like this..." Ooops. She shouldn't have said that. Now she's thinking
about... a time like this. Bad. Bad thoughts. Instead she barks out a laugh
and shakes her head some more. "It's probably just as well. You know those
are really good handholds for someone to just rip a hole in your earlobe...
though I guess they have their uses too.. besides, if anyone did I would
pull their endtrails out through their nose and... I'm babbling aren't I?"
Ayup. She clears her throat and picks up the tessen, opening it slowly and
then closing it again as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Just a bit." Neelkan moves back and kisses her on the nose. "'n yer right.
'ey could get pulled out 'r somethin'. I should prolly wear 'em on a
necklace 'r somethin' like 'at." He nods, thinking that might be a good
idea. Once he gets on the road he'll do that. "'n how 'bout I pierce yer
ears when I get back." He smiles. See. Not if he gets back. When. He hasn't
even considered the thought of not getting back. Even when he got captured
in the fort he didn't think for a second he wouldn't be getting back.

Zaidah blushes again. Burn it. She's got to stop... stop what? Letting him
get to her? Isn't that exactly what she wants? Yup, and even if she didn't
it's a hopless case. She smiles a little as he takes her ramblings and
turns them into something practical. "Probably. Otherwise though... I like
them. They suit you." If the old Zaidah could see herself now... she'd be
thoroughly disgusted by the look she's giving Neel right now. She'd approve
of the admiring part, but it's hardly a 'you're a piece of meat and I'm
sizing you up' look she might have given him a couple years ago. When he
says he'll pierce her ears -when- he gets back.. she forces another smile
and nods, "Ok." Focus on that when. Not the if. Nevermind that not
considering the possibility of losing is just a part of who he is. Zaidah
may be confidant, but she's also very much a realist. She'll focus on the
when though, because it's all she has.