04/01/2001

Pace, pace, pace. The door to Kyleigh's room isn't -quite- closed.
Remember... she's still afraid of being alone, but it is enough that there
are people out in the halls. As long as she can hear them she'll be fine.
Still she didn't want to be totally visible either, especially not if he
comes... She can't have anyone else knowing about... about what? It's not
like... it's anything... Yeah, then why are you going to ask Neelkan of all
people about it? Well... she's waiting for him, pacing back and forth
across the room and wringing her hands.

It isn't normal for Neelkan to get letters from Accepted who want him to
come visiting. Especially Kyleigh. Odd, he was just talking about her the
other day. When he gets his stuff finished up he heads up to the Accepted
Quarters, not caring if anyone sees him for once. He nods to Aes Sedai he
passes and hrmpts at a few Accepted who give him odd looks, then looks for
the room. When he finds it, the door ajar, he heads on in without knocking
and says, "Ya were askin' f'r m'?"

Kyleigh meeps and leaps about a foot off the ground. Alright, that was just
silly no her part. She looks sheepish and then hurries over to close the
door behind him. "Yes, yes, please come in. Make yourself comfortable. Do
you want some tea? Go ahead and have a seat. Er.. do you think it's too
warm in here? I could open a window. Or-" Ahem. Kyleigh bites down on her
lip to stop herself from rambling and then turns around, leaning back
against the door looking rather... flustered...

Eh? Neelkan scratches at his hair and looks at her like she just spoke a
bunch of gibberish. "Ya a'right? Yer not sick 'r somethin', are ya? I'm not
carryin' ya down t' the Infirmary, ya know!" He moves to plop down
backwards in a chair though and rests his arms on the back of it. No sis to
tell him to sit correctly, so he'll sit however he bloody pleases. "It's
fine, 'n I don't want any tea."

Well that's not too far off since she kind of did just speak a bunch of
gibberish. "No, I'm not sick... Er... I don't think I'm sick." She turns
away from him to pace across the room again... wrings her hands... and then
paces back... looks at him and then slumps down on the bed with a whimper.
"I need some advice." Uh oh, are these infamous words yet? Be afraid, be
very afraid.

The expression on his face already is pretty much priceless. "Ya want...
advice?" Neelkan doesn't seem to know what to think, but whatever it is
that does pop into his head, he doesn't seem to like it. "I'm not teachin'
ya how t' fight, so don't e'en ask f'r advice on 'at!" ... What else would
she ask the Master Gaidin for?

It's too bad Kyleigh isn't in the frame of mind to really appreciate it.
She chuckles weakly when he tells her not to ask about fighting. "No, no,
this is something totally different..." She opens her mouth, and then
closes it, whimpering slightly again. "What do you think of Jakeb..." She
keeps her head turns slightly to the side, looking at him from the corner
of her eye. She isn't really trying to be casual though. Or if she is she's
failing miserably.

Alright. The priceless look just gets more priceless. She's asking about
JAKEB!? And not a few nights ago Jakeb was asking him for advice on HER!?
This is... this is priceless. Neelkan rubs a hand through his hair, trying
to keep from laughing at the irony. "Uh.. Jakeb, eh? Well, he's one of m'
favorite trainees right now, if 'at's what ya mean. He's a good lad, 'n he
has all the qualities I want in a trainee... Why ya ask?" He tries really
hard not to grin.

Kyleigh blushes a little. "He is? You like him? Do you trust him? Do you
think he'd make a good gai- er... I mean..." She somewhat ferociously wraps
a lock of orange hair around a grey gloved finger and chews on her lip.
"Flame and A-" She chokes on that curse too. Burn it! Why is this so
frustrating??

"I think he'll make a great Gaidin." Neelkan says, trying so hard to keep
from grinning. Looks like Jakeb doesn't have to worry about her liking him!
But, this is kinda weird. He almost wants to be... elsewhere. "Look,
don't... yer gettin' a little too worked up, Ky. Ya need t' just... I don't
know... But yer ramblin' 'n yer not tellin' m' why yer askin' all 'is
stuff. Ya thinkin' of bondin' 'im when ya get up t' Sedai?"

"NO!!" Ok, Kyleigh... that was definately more volume than was really
needed, and when did she jump to her feet? She whimpers and sits back down,
fidgeting. "I think he likes me. And... and... I don't know how I feel
about him. I mean... he's nice... and he's sweet... and he's so adorable,
did you know he can't even read? And he jumped up on a table in the library
and was talking about how he wants to be Jakeb the Great and, and... and he
called me an angel!" (Or WoT equivalent) She's actually look at the Master
Gaidin with no small amount of incredulity. "ME! Can you imagine?? He's
gotta be crazy right? I mean... I mean that's the kind of guys I attract,
right...? Helios... Ash... ..." Ooops. She didn't mean to say that last
name, but maybe no one mentioned him to Neelkan so he won't ask... She
clears her throat and looks down again, fidgeting some more.

Blood and ashes. Neelkan's head hurts. And it isn't from the yell either.
He puts his head in his hands and lets out a way-over dramatic sigh. Why do
they want to ask him for advice on guys? Who does he look like? Dr. Ruth?
"Look, Ky, if Jakeb thinks of ya like 'at, 'n he's willing t' actually say
it, it doesn't mean he's crazy! I mean, I don't think yer perfect 'r
nothin', but yer beatin' yerself up t' much. I don't know 'is Ash guy, 'n
Helios... ye'h he's bloody well lost it. 'n burn me, ya got some problems
of yer own, ya know. But the way I see it, Jakeb is /'xactly/ the kinda guy
ya need! Someone who sees past all 'at. Yer not 'at awful, Ky. 'n ya
deserve a bloody lot more 'en the crap 'at gets thrown at ya." Why does he
suddenly find himself thinking about someone else as he's talking to Ky?
Weird.

Is she asking about sex?! No! *BAP!* Thankfully he doesn't dwell on the Ash
thing though so she can relax and not worry about it. Green eyes regard the
Gaidin with slight skepticism. "You mean that? I guess I still kind of
thought you might hate me after all the Shayol Ghul I put you through..."
She plucks at her skirt nervously. "You're right though, Jakeb could see
past it all... but... I don't know if I can. I have very good reasons for
hating men, Neelkan..." she looks back up at him. "You've see most of them.
I don't know if I can... forget about that... I don't know if I deserve
him..."

"I know he won't intentionally hurt ya, Ky." Neelkan says. In fact, Jakeb
pretty much promised him that he never would if he could stop it. "If yer
hurtin' o'er 'is, it isn't 'im 'at's hurtin' ya, it's ya. The way I see it,
love isn't somethin' ya can fight. It either happens 'r it doesn't. I know
yer not really talkin' 'bout love, but still, I'm just sayin' 'at yer
fightin' it t' much. 'ere's some things ya just can't fight, 'n 'at's one
of 'em." And yes, unfortunately, love is something he's been learning a lot
about lately, much to his displeasure. "'til yer sure, one way 'r 'nother,
give 'im a chance. If ya realize 'at ya don't like 'im like 'at, 'en /tell/
'im immediately. But 'til ya know f'r sure, give 'im a chance. I'm sure ya
won't regret it." Jakeb really is a good kid.

If Kyleigh was a different type of girl she might hug Neelkan, but she
goes. Instead she just grins at him. "Alright. I'll give him a chance. I
-do- like him. I just... have issues I guess." And she knew Jakeb wouldn't
hurt her... but it did help to hear it from Neelkan's lips. She trusts his
judgement more than her own. And since he's in such a good advice giving
mood she decides to ask about something else that's been bugging her. "What
do you think I should do about Helios? I made him promise not to cut
himself anymore..." She won't say she can't believe he did that because..
well.. she does something similar to herself every day. "But I don't know
if he could handle it if... I mean... he's still in love with me, and... I
just don't... I like him as a friend but... It's not the same. Sorry... I
don't mean to bombard you with all this..." She scowls at the floor.

"I don't know, Ky... blood 'n ashes. What d'ya think, I'm an expert?"
Neelkan doesn't sound mad, just frustrated. "I don't know what t' say,
a'right? I'm just tryin' t' help, 'n don't bloody apologize." He lays his
head down on his arms and mumbles softly. He really doesn't know what to
say about Helios, at least Jakeb he knew. Helios... only thing he knows
about that boy is he's missing more than a few cards in his deck.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry." Kyleigh grabs a pillow and hugs it to her,
resting her chin on it. "Ooops. I wasn't supposed to apologize. Sorry."
Ack! She did it again! Wasn't it much nicer when an apology was like
pulling teeth with her? "You're a guy, you're supposed to be an expert in
all these things... Why else do you think I'd ask you?" He's the only guy
she'd actually feel comfortable talking about any of this to.

"Uh.. Ky.. I'm a guy. Guys're idiots." Neelkan says that so bluntly. Hey,
it was told to him all his life and frankly, he believes it. He knows he's
an idiot when it comes to most things. He isn't trying to be smart. He just
wants to do what he can. "Look, I know 'at ya think I know 'bout 'is stuff,
but I got too many love problems of m' own t' try t' help people with
'eirs." Blood and ashes, he's in love with half the women he knows! Nothing
worse than that!

Kyleigh sighs. "But... My mom would freak if I asked her about any of this
stuff... She trusts me not to be interested in any guys... And you're -not-
stupid. You're the best Gaidin I know, though I really can't speak for the
rest of your gender. Anyway... I guess that's all I really wanted to talk
about. Thanks for helping me..." er... sort of. Well he helped with the
Jakeb part. She smiles weakly.

"If ya say so." Neelkan shrugs, standing up from the chair. He doesn't
think that he's smart, but he'll take her word for it since she seemed to
be insisting. He starts towards the door and adds, "I hope things go well
with 'im. If ya really want, ya can talk t' m' 'bout 'is stuff 'gain, if
just t'... get it outta yer head 'n stuff. But I do /NOT/ want any details
on anythin' ya 'n 'im 'r anyone else... ya know... d'." He doesn't want to
hear about her sex life.

Gross!!! As if she'd want to tell him about any of it! As if she'd want to
do any of it! For Kyleigh sex is a very, very bad thing, and she has
trouble even hugging a guy, much less... She shivers at the very thought of
it and just grimaces at Neelkan. "I don't plan on there ever being anything
to tell. So you're safe." She can't believe he would say something like
that. "But I may take you up on the other offer." She forces a smile. "Oh,
and please don't close the door on your way out." Cause then she might have
to hyperventilate.

"A'right, a'right." Neelkan goes out the door and leaves it part-way open,
heading back down to his own room and scratching his head. He may not
'hate' all of them anymore, but women are /STILL/ confusing!