12/13/2000 Barracks Room #41, White Tower, Tar Valon This room is much like any trainee's room. Large enough for two bunk beds, two good sized dressers, a table that could seat three comfortably (or four if it was pulled away from the wall) and a couple chairs for the table. There's not all that much room between the furnature, and not all that much room to move around in either. Lanterns and candles keep the room dimly bright, the setting of the light focused on the table where writen work and study is likely supposed to be done if it is required. Two of the rooms occupants, Varcel and Neelkan, occupy the bunk beds on the right side of the room, Neelkan on the upper bunk. Sunan and Redd occupy the left bunks, Sunan on the upper bunk. An assortment of herbs and poultices and vials adorn the dresser which Sunan and Redd share, as well as a bag of coins. Upon the table lies a beautifully adorned paper divided into 26 sections. Each section contains a letter in its capital and lowercase forms, and an ornate drawing of an object thats first syllable is identical to the letter. A is for Apricot, for example. Espiria opens the door gently, peeking on the inside and careful not to catch anyone in their small clothing before she smiles, "Neel? You free to chat for awhile?" She grins, bright eyes still the same person you know and care about, but perhaps with a bit more of the sadness tinged in her eyes. Neelkan is laying up on his bunk off to the side (the top one) and as soon as the door is opened he glances over. Oh! This is pleasent surprise. He was expecting a Gaidin or something. He twists his legs off and hops down, fully dressed but a little rumpled. He was probably taking a quick nap (or trying to). "Espi.. What're.. uh.. 'course we can talk. Is 'ere a'right?" Though it isn't exactly the most private place in the world. Espiria smiles gently, taking a deep breath as she heads over to take one of the chairs in the room. "I..I'm fine I guess. Just..feeling.." She bites her lip a bit, "Feeling separated from everyone. More so than before. It's..like I can feel something getting closer and as it does, it pushes me farther from everyone." She reaches up to rub at her eyes to hide a tear. "I..just wanted to make sure you were still my friend, Neel." Watching for a few moments, Neelkan appears to be at a loss for what he's supposed to do. But that lasts until you rubs at your eyes. "Espi... of course I'm still yer friend! Light. I swear, nothin' could make m' stop bein' yer friend. 'member?" It's so strange... first Aidou acting all weepy and weak and asking if he hated her... now you wanting to make sure he's still your friend. He moves over towards where you're sitting and pulls another chair over and twists it so he can sit on it backwards and rest his arms on the back of the chair, "What d' ya think's happenin'?" Espiria rubs her hands together for a moment before her eyes raise to look at your face. Yes, she knows what you say is true. "I..I'm not sure, Neel. It's..got something to do with who I am...what I'm here to do." She sighs softly, "I..just feel pulled away from everyone. Before..I felt that way only not as bad. This..." She lifts her shawl a bit, "This was still far off..and now..suddenly it's here and I feel as though my..destiny is heading for me faster than before. I'm..scared, Neel. More scared even than when I was having the dreams..or the memories. It's..just I don't want to loose any of you. I..care for all of you so much." Unfolding his arms from where they rested on the chairback, Neelkan reaches forward to finger at the shawl gently before smirking, "It looks good on ya, though I still think ya should've picked 'nother Ajah." He winks before pulling his hand back and going a little more serious, "I understand, I mean somewhat at least. I'm not important, like ya, 'r nothin'.." And he's kinda glad. He would hate to feel pulled around by something. He likes to think he's controlling his own destiny, thankyouverymuch. "Ya ne'er have t' worry 'bout me leavin' ya. Any time ya need m', I'll be right 'ere f'r ya." Espiria smiles gently, heaving a relieved sigh and chuckling as you touch the shawl. "Well..I'm a good healer, Neel. That's what I can do best for those I care for." She smiles gently, tipping her head to one side. "I..I was wondering though if you could do me a favor. I wouldn't ask if it weren't important, Neel..you know that, right?" "Ye'h ye'h... well, if I e'er need t' go t' 'at bloody infirmary 'gain, 'least I'll know I got a friend 'ere, right?" Neelkan says, grinning even wider then before. At the mention of a favor he plucks at the hair falling in front of one of his eyes and then shrugs, "'Course! E'en if it wasn't important I'd prolly d' it f'r ya. What d'ya need? Is it gonna get me kicked out?" Oddly, that's said with a little bit of excitement. Like the idea of getting kicked out (or maybe just proving he /isn't/ an ideal trainee...) is something he's looking forward to. Espiria smiles and nods, glad that she can sit and chat with you like nothing's changed. In a way, that helps her more than even the saying your still her friend. It keeps her connected somehow. "Well..umm..It's about Varcel, Neel. I was wondering you you'd mind helping him along alittle quicker." Quicker? Could that mean that she's got something in mind? "He's having trouble getting lessons done and since you've advanced, you could help him move along even if the Gaidin are off doing other things." Taking a deep breath, Neelkan sits up a little bit straighter. "Ya want m'... t' help Varcel finish 'is trainin'... Espi..." He hesitates for a few moments, then looks away towards the door, grinding his teeth together a little bit. It's not exactly what he was expecting to be asked to do, and in fact it's probably one of the only things she could ask that would cause him to hesitate at all. Finally he sighs softly, still looking away, "I'll see what I can d' 'bout helpin' 'im..." He forces the smile back on and glances over again finally. Espiria smiles and sighs softly, "Thank you, Neel. Thank you so much." She seems relieved a bit, shaking her head from side to side for a moment. "I..thought maybe you wouldn't do it. I know..how you feel about Varcel, Neel. It's obvious at times..I'm just glad to see you can set it to one side to help me out." She smiles, the light of hope shining in her eyes now. "Thank you.." She closes her eyes for a moment, tipping her head downward. "Light knows..I need all the help I can get right now." "What're ya talkin' 'bout? What makes ya think I don't like the guy? Light, Esp, I hardly know 'im." Neelkan shrugs his shoulders and glances away again, "But he seems like a nice 'nough guy. He must b', since ya obviously care so much 'bout 'im." That last bit is added a little softer then his usual speaking voice, before he shakes his head, "Burn it, 'least 'is way I know 'at I can help 'im protect ya in the future..." Alright, the angst is getting a little thick on his side of things, and he isn't trying to make you feel any worse, so he looks back over and reaches to ruffle at your hair. "Consider it done, Espi. But is 'ere anythin' else ya need right now? Ya sound like 'ere's more 'en just tryin' t' get Varcel trained." Espiria sighs softly, grinning a bit more at the ruffling of hair. Such a simple motion that makes her feel so good. She chuckles softly, moving to pull her hair back into place, "Well...I went looking again for Thain...The Ogier friend of mine? You remember him? I'm..worried about him, Neel. I've gone now..for over a week to look for him and he's still not at the Grove. I'm just worried that something's happened to him. I..just don't know what to do about it. It's not like you can hide an Ogier, right?" "The Ogier, eh? I have a few thin's I need t' do out in the city, so I'll keep 'n eye out f'r 'em. 'n ask 'round too." Neelkan folds his arms over the back of the chair again and lowers his head down to rest his chin there. "I'm sure he's fine. I've ne'er heard of anyone hurtin' an Ogier 'fore." But then before Thain he'd never even seen one. Which was shown by the fact he fell all over himself around the big guy. Espiria sighs softly, nodding as she shakes her head. "He's been hurt before...He went out to see what the Fort looked like one time and came back with arrows all over him." She rubs her hands together a bit as though they were cold. "I..Well, I just suppose I'm worried he did it again. I'm sure you've heard the legends about Ogiers and their hated of the Dark." "Ye'h, I 'member 'at. But he doesn't really seem like the type t' go 'bout repeatin' the same mistakes a buncha times." Neelkan says with a grin, obviously trying to keep her spirits up when someone knocks on the door and interupts him. It's a young boy's voice from outside, "Neel, you're wanted in the Practice Yard." Luckily whoever it is seems content just to knock and give the command. The red haired young man sighs and moves to stand up, "Looks like I'm needed. I'll see what I can d' 'bout settin' up some lessons with Varcel, 'n lookin' f'r Thain. I'm sure e'erythin'll be just fine." Espiria smiles as she rises, glancing at the door once before she walks over and gives you a hug. "Thank you, Neel...I'm so lucky to have someone like you as a good friend of mine. I..I need those badly right now." She smiles, heading for the door as she sighs. She leaves feeling better about things in general, even though the sense of dread still hovers just out of sight.