11/29/2000

Aidou's Room, White Tower, Tar Valon

        Aidou is an accepted, so and so she gets to have a room larger than
a novice's that is a little more nicely furnished. There is a bed, and a
fireplace, and a trunk holding her extra dresses, and other belongings
she's aquired over the years. It is not fancy, but it is at least
comfortable, and spotlessly clean.


As has been the case for many nights now (since the only time Neelkan could
possibly pull off soemthing like this would be when most are asleep) Aidou
is curled up in a little ball on her bed, huddled against the head board
with her face in her knees, crying. Yeah, the Accepted test is traumatic,
but this is ridiculous! Aidou doesn't cry! Aidou hasn't cried in like...
-years-, but she is now, bawling as a matter of fact. It's really pathetic.

Ah yes. It is indeed the late hours of evening, as that time is the easiest
at which to do things of this nature. The most difficult part now is
staying silent enough not to draw anyone out of their rooms. But Neelkan
wasn't a bandit for nothing! He knows how to be quiet (despite popular
belief) and if all else fails, and he gets caught, he can always tell the
truth. Not like he was visiting a lover (hah) or anything. It's his sister,
for Light's sake! Bah. Bunch of milk-sops and their stupid rules. Moving up
to the door, the young man with white streaked red hair presses his hand
against the door for a second silently and listens. He can hear a few
sounds here and there, from other rooms, but mainly he's listening for
inside the one he's wanting to go into... It takes a few moments, but he
eventually hears the sound of... crying? What in the Light? Does he have
the wrong room? Aidou doesn't cry... She's mean, and throws logs, and pokes
fun, but she doesn't /cry/. There's a long moment of hesitation, and then
he mumbles something softly under his breath and pushes the door open,
slipping inside, and quickly closing it behind him. Please don't scream,
sis.

The crying stops and Aidou slowly lifts her head up to see who is intruding
on her privacy. She doesn't even have a log in hand to throw at anyone who
would dare do such a thing and the expression on her face is.. um...
surprisingly... meek... It's an Aidou imposter! Nope, she's just a little
fractured right now. Got any superglue? She gasps softly and she cringes
ever so slightly as her eyes slowly focus and she sees who it is.
Definately un-Aidoulike behavior. What kind of torture did they put her
through? Seeing him makes the tears start to flow again and she looks away,
not wanting him of all people to see her crying. She knew she wanted to see
him, but on her terms, not like this. "Get out, Shun'u." She winces at her
own words, and their harshness, and she almost instantly takes them back,
but she bites her lip and closes her eyes and pretends that he's not in the
room.

What in the Light...? Neelkan blinks as he's able to see his sister with
/tears/ in her eyes... and flinching at the sight of him. What is going on
here? Yeah, his sister has always been a little high-strung and tough to
deal with, but at least she was /herself/. She was always Aidou. Aidou with
a log. Aidou with an insult. Aidou with the inclination to spot every
single mistake he could possibly make, and of course point it out to
everyone. But this... This isn't right. Plus... what's up with her hair?
His eyes narrow, even as she turns away and tries not to let him see her
tear up again. Get out, Shun'u? Tsk. Aidou, you should know better... As
soon as that is said his eyes narrow again and he gets that stubborn
expression on his face. He's not turning around and leaving. In fact, he
moves closer to the bed and plops down on the edge of it, frowning over at
his sister. "Burn it, sis, ya've been bloody avoidin' m' f'r a while now,
'n I've heard from people 'at yer actin' weird, 'n I flamin' see what 'ey
meant. What's wrong?"

Aidou is quietly torn between fleeing the room screaming, and doing
something even more stupid like... hugging him... and... even worse...
apologizing... and (horror of horrors) telling him that she loves him. She
cringes at his frowning too and keeps her head lowered, looking to the
side. "Don't curse," but it's a whispered reprimand, with none of her usual
forcefulness. It's almost... more of a suggestion... or even a request...
Light, what's wrong with me? Aidou scrubs at her eyes, and sniffles and
forces herself to look at him. Now that she has her head lifted, the white
streak is almost impossible to miss.

Well, if she would have done any of that it probably wouldn't have shocked
him much more then he already has been since walking in here. Though only
the running he would have understood. Neelkan frowns for a moment,
listening to the... near request there and grumps, replying with a simple
retort of, "M' mouths m' own 'n I'll curse if I want." But on the plus
side, he didn't even say 'if I bloody want'... so maybe he listened. Sorta.
He leans over on the bed a little bit and reaches up as if to wipe away
tears, but instead he ends up fingering the streak for a second, "Don't
tell m' 'ose Novices 'r playin' more pranks on ya girls?" He remembers when
Espi and the Accepted all ended up with green hair for a few days.

Aidou cringes, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, but she doesn't pull back.
She deserves this at -least- if the arches are to be believed. She probably
wouldn't even clonk him if he made fun of her for- ok, maybe that's pushing
it. "No," she whispers softly. "It wasn't a prank." There will be no
apologizing though! None, you hear me? If he's still fingering the streak
she shakes her head and pulls back, as if that could hide it at all, but
it's bad enough to have his attention focused directly on it. Yes, Aidou
feels stupid. Take pictures for the scrapbook. "Shu-... N-Neelkan..." She
lifts her eyes and looks at him taking his hand in a death grip. Her eyes
are strangely intense, and not in an angry way. It's not quite pleading,
but it's definately... searching for something, desperate to communicate
something that she can't actually speak. She opens her mouth to try and
stops, her gaze still fixed on him like a hinge fixed to a door. "I would
never-" No, no, you can't say that. Try again. "What I mean is... if I..."
Nope, wrong again. "You... you don't hate me do you? And... and if I did
something... that... was really stupid," wince, "you'd... forgive me,
wouldn't you?"

Alright... someone color Neelkan confused, because that's what he is right
now. Confused. A dozen times more confused then usual. Women. They always
do this to him. Not in the same exact way of course, but still... He lets
his hand drop from the streak of white in her hair as she pulls back away
from him, and for once doesn't even open her mouth at the near saying of
his real name. She probably could have gotten away with calling him
'Shun'u' today in fact. He's got too much on his mind right now to worry
about embarassment over his real name. And he really only minds when
there's people around. His own bright blue-green eyes blink rapidly when
she clasps his hand, and he glances down at it before returning to gaze
back into those odd brown-ish eyes his sister always possessed. It's
unclear in his expression if he actually understands what she's trying to
convey, and if anything he just looks more confused, the skin around his
eyes tightening and his lips compressing. Hate her? 'Blood 'n ashes, Aidou,
ya know I hate all women.' Hrmpt. Or that's what he /should/ have said.
Instead he opens his mouth, pauses for a second and then shrugs, looking
away in an almost embarassed fashion, "Light, what is 'is? Why would ya
think I'd hate ya? Bunch'a sour flamin' milk..." Grr. Excuse his
language... he's not good with this stuff. After a moment of grumbling he
squeezes the hand holding onto his own and adds on with another shrug, "I
don't... hate ya. 'n Light, I don't think ya could d' somethin' stupid
'nough t' make m'." And you /gotta/ know how hard that was for him to say.
Gah. Women!

At that, she deflates, very much like an emptied wine skin having it's
contents spilled on the ground, and slowly crumples to the bed, burying her
face in a pillow. She could have gotten away with calling him that... but
she didn't want to. She only almost said it because of habit, though after
today don't be surprised if she goes back to calling him Shun'u... "Thank
you," she says softly, tilting her face to the side just enough so she can
say that without being muffled. Sorry Neel. Um... your sister is not in
good shape... this is probably the most you'll see her cry... ever... It's
certainly the most she's cried since you can remember. She's just going to
bury her face in the pillow again and sob. Feel free to close the door on
your way out... What? You're still here? Well this does present a problem.
She'll just have to pretend he's not there, but Shun'u or not she can't
stop herself from crying. Not today. Do you know how long she's been
wanting to hear those words? She's got a lot of pent up anxiety to release
here!

Um... Neelkan reaches up and rubs his hand through his hair in a totally
lost fashion, as if he has no idea what to do right now, which is pretty
much true. He's never had to do anything like this. Not with his sisters.
Ever. They never did things like this in front of him. He's seen Espiria
break down... he's seen Denn break down. He saw Verbena break down in the
prison... He was confused of what to do then as well, but this is his
sister. He can't just sit here! Arg. It takes a few moments, but finally he
reaches over and puts a hand on her shoulder and starts to nudge her a
little, "Aidou? Sis? Shh. It'll be a'right. Light.. What's got ya so
worried? What'd ya d' 'at ya think may make m' hate ya?" He frowns. He's
not an idiot (REALLY!!), and he sort of sees that there had to be a
/reason/... wait a bloody moment... "Aidou, yer not pregnant 'r somethin'
right? I'll kill the pig-bastard! Who did 'is t' ya!? Lemme 'at 'im!" ...
Neel keep your voice down... And talk about conclusion jumping...

Normally, saying something like that would have gotten him a serious log
thumping, but Aidou does something unexpected and lifts her head a little
off the pillow, looks at him (tears streaming down her face and all) and
laughs. It's genuine certainly, but... it's also boarding a little on the
hysterical side. (She's just a little cracked up, in more ways than one.)
-Then- she grabs.. well.. not her log. She doesn't have it on her in bed,
so she grabs the next best thing, which is a pillow and beats him over the
head with that a couple times. "WHAT KIND OF WOMAN DO YOU THINK I AM?? OF
COURSE I'M NOT PREGNANT!" Speaking of keeping your voice down... She gasps
at herself (though she really shouldn't be surprised, she does stuff like
that all the time, right?) and puts out a hand towards him, half reaching
towards him. "Shun'u.." see? I told you she'd slip, "I'm so-" Gah! Must...
not... apologize! Oh this is so frustrating! She's so conflicted! She
buries her face in the pillow again for a fresh bout of tears. And you
thought you were confused before. :P

Oh. Good. Neelkan doesn't have to slay anyone now. He would do it too. But
he doesn't like killing. Trollocs and Fades he'll kill in a second... but a
person? He'd even have difficulties killing that Tetrarch bastard. And that
isn't just because the guy's strong and nearly impossible to kill either!
He braces himself under the pillow attack, but he doesn't raise his hands
to block it or try to dodge at all. It's just a pillow, doesn't hurt that
much. When it's over he's left to sit there and frown as his sister starts
to apologize, then breaks in to tears again. Um... "Aidou? Don't cry...
Light... I don't hate ya, 'n... I don't understand... why're ya so upset?
What happened?" She's not pregnant, but what happened? She was not like
this when she was still in her normal clothes back home, nore was she like
this in her Novice dress. "Did somethin' happen when 'ey made ya 'ccepted?"

"Yes Neelkan," Aidou whispers, sniffling. "There's a test that you have to
pass to become Accepted." She's -not- going to tell him that if you fail
you die though. That wouldn't sit well with him. Light, if he'd known
before hand he likely would have tried to stop her from taking it. "I'm not
supposed to talk about it though." She thrusts the pillow aside and
sniffles again, wiping at her eyes with a handkerchief she pulls from one
of her pockets. "I saw things... I don't know if they're true or just... my
imagintion... horrible things... I've already said too much." And she's
certainly not going to tell him that she almost murdered him. No, she'll
keep that in her heart until the day she dies, and hope it never comes to
pass. What could drive her to- no, just.. don't think about it. She takes a
deep breath, and looks out the window. Maybe... she'll go out to the Grove
today... Where did -that- come from?? She banishes that thought as well.
Men, be they brothers or... something else just make things far too
complicated.

Good call not to tell him those who fail likely die. Who knows what he
would have done. Likely attempt to destroy the Arches if such a thing could
be accomplished. Light knows he would give it an honest try! And for the
effort... he'd likely make Wyntere angry, and Kaomi when she wakes up, and
likely get thrown out of the Tower! And it wouldn't change a thing. And if
she would have vanished inside them... Light. Another subject best left
unexplored. Neelkan frowns at the talk about seeing horrible things, and
not knowing if they were true or not and he takes a deep breath before
reaching over and fingering the streak in his sister's hair. "'n is 'at 'en
ya got 'is? Aidou... I.. think I know kinda how ya feel. I've... seen some
bloody awful things 'fore... Ya just gotta... I dunno. Accept 'em. True 'r
not, ya saw it, whate'er it was, 'n it may happen, it may not, but blood 'n
ashes, ya can't spend yer whole life dwellin' on it, 'r 'voidin' it." He
shrugs and takes his hand away to run it through his hair. "Just... live.
If ya sit 'ere 'n hide from it, 'r think 'bout it too much yer gonna be
bored t' death 'til /all/ yer hair is white."

Aidou tries not to think about his fingering of her white streak. This is
so embarassing, but it really serves her right. She fully expects him to
tease her about it. She deserves it. She won't do anything.. well... let's
not go overboard. "You're right... of course..." She laughs softly, at the
white hair comment and shakes her head a little. He may be an annoying
little brother, but sometimes he's the only one who can cheer her up, just
because he's so silly. Just.. don't tell anyone. She realizes what she's
doing and adds, looking at him sternly (or at least trying to, it's still
kinda hard but don't worry, she'll be back to her old self in no time).
"And don't curse! Don't think just 'cause I'm not myself these days that I
won't tan your hide! I can do it now too. I can channel whenever I want."
Is that.. an evil grin?

"I'm right?" Neelkan blinks and looks completely dumbfounded. He was right?
He was kinda guessing... and grasping at straws. Really thin straws as far
as he's concerned. He was never good at this advice thing... Or he doesn't
think so at least. Redd and Sunan keep asking for advice though, so he
can't be too bad... Then she does an about face and starts to scould and
threaten him. Eh? "I can talk howe'er I bloody well like. 'n go 'head 'n
use yer flamin' power 'gainst. Ask Christa-sedai how scared I am o' it." He
stands up from the bed and folds his arms across his chest in a defiant
manner. His sister won't scare him with the power. He's honestly not afraid
of the power. Wary, yes, but not afraid. But then... except for his
dreams... he rarely is afraid of anything. Even when he ought to be.

Aidou frowns up at him, but not really about him... well.. you'll see.
"Christa thretened you with the Power?" Aes Sedai aren't supposed to do
that. She can do that of course. She's his sister, and still an Accepted,
and.. well.. there are plenty of rules she doesn't think apply to her.
Excpet that there's really nothing she can doa bout it. Even if she lives
to be as old as Christa she'll likely never stand as high a she does... and
who's going to remember something like that in 300 years? Well.. Aidou
might, she's a little vindictive like that. "Fine, talk how you want. I
suppose you don't mind people thinking you're a brute." She must be back in
spirits if she can still fight with him. No, a broken Aidou is not a
pleasant thing. "I suppose it's really none of my business," she continues,
acting rather offended, but it really is more of an act now. In fact she
glances over at him and smiles a little. It's good to be able to fight with
him again. Yes, she's wierd.