08/20/2000

Basements, White Tower, Tar Valon

A labarynth of dark grey stone, branching off into various directions with
no markers to indicate where they might be going. Dust is prevalent here,
floating lazily through the air in an attempt to provoke sneezes and
choking coughs. It is so thick that one can see footprints, indicating
where traffic may be routinely going, and where it is largely absent.

At the very end of the hall two men in white and gold livery guard a barred
door. This is the entrance to the dungeons. No murmur of sound exudes from
there out into this hallway, for important information not intended for the
ears of all may at this very moment be spilling from a prisoner's lips. A
locked yet grand looking door of arched redwood is seen at the end of a
hall to the right. To the left a series of storerooms can be found, most
locked or forgotten.


Sitting on one of the boxes on the outside of the rooms is Espi. She has
the large book that you saw her use before open on her lap and she just
seems to stare at the page. She shiffs every so often, feeling tears well
up in her eyes but not falling. Hmm, I wonder what could be wrong?

Coming back down to do a little bit more 'moving' between lessons, Neelkan
heads down the hallway towards the storage rooms they were working on when
he spots you. What're you doing down here by yourself? Oh, it's quite
alright for him, or one of the boys to come down here by themselves, but
you? Nope. Not alright at all. In fact, it's downright nerve wracking.
How's he supposed to make sure you're alright if you go off by yourself,
hmm? He doesn't say any of that though and just moves over towards where
your sitting and ducks his head down level with your own, "What'cha lookin'
at 'ere, Espi?"

Espiria places her hand on the page she was looking at, teary gaze looking
up to you as she tries for a smile. Nope. Not going to happen right now.
Sure, she managed to cover things over from Kirra, but then..that was an
Aes Sedai will little to no knowledge of what Espi's all about. She sighs
softly, looking down for a time and it almost seems as though she can't
speak. Maybe won't? She shakes her head slowly, "I...I found my..other name
in here, Neel. The..name I 'had' from before." She shivers, hand rubbing
the page gently before she closes her eyes.

"Yer other name...?" Neelkan sounds a little surprised at hearing that,
then glances down and glares at the book for a moment. Grrr. Grrr. Stupid
past that you have. If you didn't have that then you wouldn't have so much
trouble and you probably wouldn't have fallen for 'that Varcel guy'. Gr---
And he'd probably be dead three times over by now. Feh. Well, he can still
glare at the book like it's the book's fault that you have a past, right?
After a few glares he glances back up and his gaze softens at the slight of
the tears before he asks, "So what was it?"

Espiria sighs softly, taking her hand away from the page so you can see it.
She points at the name, nearly faded out it's so old and sighs. "Right
there...Hetincha Del'anbi....Brown Ajah." She shivers, wraping her arms
around herself as though someone just walked on her grave.

"Hetincha Del'anbi, huh?" Neelkan repeats with a lot of trouble. He's no
good with long names. "I think I like Espiria better." He says with a wink,
leaning forward and touching your shoulder. "Don't worry 'bout it. Like I
said, she wasn't ya. Yer Espi... She's... um... 'Heti'! 'n no matter what
past ya had, 'r whate'er destiny ya got..." Because surely you have one. Or
the Dark One wouldn't after you so diligently. "'n whate'er ya become. Yer
Espi t' m'." He moves his hand up and ruffles at your hair playfully. But
really, he's a little upset still. Now she knows her name. Now it makes
things even more 'real' to her, doesn't it? Feh. Grr. Grr. Bad past. Icky
past. Go away. He's very glad he doesn't have a past life messing with his
current one.

Espiria looks up and smiles a bit after the ruffling of her hair. You
should know that always lightens her mood and she needed that. "Yes..I
know. I'm...me, but to actually see it. To..know it was me." She shivers
again, sighing deeply. "It..just scares me, Neel." She looks up from the
book, eyes definately showing that at the moment. "I....It's just feels so
odd. So..unreal."

Ruffling hair lightens moods. Neelkan will have to remember that one. He
tilts his head and watches you for a few moments, a white streak of hair
falling down in front of one of his eyes, joined by a few strangs of the
red. He doesn't brush it away as he watches until shifting his head back
and lowering his hand back to your shoulder, "Why're ya scared?" And why
your scared... he knows that he has no control over it at all. What he
wouldn't give to be able to just wave his hand and make you forget all of
your past. Except when it's helping save people's lives of course...

Espiria sighs softly, putting her hand back over the page she was looking
at, "It's..because it made it more real than iot was before, Neel." She
sighs softly, shaking her head. "Before...it was just memories that were
added onto me. There..wasn't a name attached to them. Now there is." She
shivers, snapping the book closed. "It just makes it that much more real to
me, Neel. That....much more frightening." She shrugs, "I can't explain it
exactly as it feels, but that's very close to it."

That's what he figured would be wrong. Neelkan frowns lightly as he watches
you. He squeezes your shoulder gently with his hand then says, "A'right,
Esp, listen t' m' 'ere f'r a minute. It was real 'fore too. It saved a
bunch'a people from 'at plague, includin' m'. If 'at didn't prove it was
real, 'en I don't know what would. It's just a name. E'eryone has one.
Bloody Light, I got two m'self! 'n just like from now on, I'm Neelkan, from
the start of yer life, ya've been Espi. 'n yer gonna stay 'at way. 'is...
woman... doesn't make ya who ya are. She makes ya who ya were. I... don't
really understand why yer scared, but I know 'at ya are, 'n I don't want ya
t' be. So... um.. Stop." Yeah... that's the way to tell someone to stop
being afraid... So.. Stop?! Sigh. See, not very good at this big "brother"
stuff yet still.

Espiria glances at the hand, smiling. It's so good to have good friends
that care. She closes her eyes and looks down sadly, nodding. "I know that
Neel, but before i could distance myself. Try to convince myself that it
was just..coincidences that I came up with the cure." She glances up to
you, smirking. "And yeah..I know that's foolish but it was the only way I
could handle getting what I was getting. Do you know how terrifying it is
to have someone else's thoughts in your head when you least expect it? Or
to wonder if 'He' will pop into my dreams again or worse? Be in the same
room with me?" She shudders, "At least..not knwing the name I could
distance myself from it. Keep it father away from me and not have to really
recognize that it was..'me' that did all those things before. Sure..I'm
Espi, but...I'm also the sum and total of all the ones I was before. They
/made/ me who I am today. Brought me to this point so that I do..whatever
it is that the Light wants me to do..when I need to do it." She sets the
book aside, lifting a shoulder. "Before..at least I could think that I had
a chance at something normal..or as normal as an Aes sedai could have
anything. Now?" She shakes her head and shrugs. "I know that life will
never truely be normal for me. I have no choice in any of this really and
all I can do is hope to keep my head above water and then do what the Light
hopes I will..when I need to."

The sad part, is all through that, Neelkan couldn't much understand exactly
what you were saying. Oh, he heard it, but some of it just goes right over
his head, because he has nothing to base what you're saying into his own
life. Except for dreams. That he can sympathize with. And he also dreads
the day when he'll run into one of his family or fellow bandits again.
Running into 'firefly' was bad enough... "Espi... Why would ya want a
'normal life'? I mean, think 'bout it. People who have a 'normal life' end
up wishin' f'r somethin' special, 'n 'ose who get somethin' special, end up
wishin' f'r somethin' normal. 'n in some ways, I'm guilty of 'is too. I
mean I wish m' dreams would go 'way sometimes... 'r e'ery time I have 'em
more like it. But seein' ya do 'at... It just seems silly. I l..like ya.
Special lil' ya. Voices speakin' in yer head 'n all. Though I'd prolly like
ya without 'em too." But that voices thing did kind of help him grow to
like you even more... But he won't say that.

Espiria sighs softly, biting her lip. "I want a normal life because it's
something I'll never have, Neel. Haven't you ever wanted something you knew
you couldn't have?" And she's saying this to you? Well, regardless she
still does want that. Even though it won't happen. Least not in this
lifetime. She sighs, looking back up to you again before she manages a
smile. "I'm trying for it not to...bother me, but it's soo hard, Neel. So
very hard..." She blushes a bit as you say you like her. Hmm...yeah, she
knew that, but she's still your friend and she'll always be that. "Thanks,
Neel. I needed that." She chuckles. yes, she definately needed to hear that
you'd stay her friend no matter what. Voices aside from everything else.
"You..will probably never know how much knowing that I have a good friend
like you..that sticks by me even in my...oddness and how it keeps me afloat
when I feel like I'll be pulled under."

Wanted something he knew he could never have? Neelkan furrows his brow
lightly at this and pulls his hand back from Espi's shoulder, straighting
up to glance over at one of the other boxes. "Ye'h. I know how 'at one
feels." Ahem. But he won't give details on that. He starts to move away, as
if spotting something that might be of interest on the other box, but he's
really just looking for something to occupy him.

Espiria sighs softly, glancing over to you as she frowns. Could it really
be true? Does he care /that/ much for me? She blinks, looking down for a
moment before she sighs. "I..was thinking of visiting Wyntere Sedai, Neel.
I..wasn't sure..would you like to go with me? I'm sure..she would like to
see you. Umm..But I would understand if you don't want to see her like she
is now." She sighs softly, hand rubbing the surface of the book. Espi's
face is tear stained as though she had been crying for some reason and she
glares at the book next to her almost as though it caused her problems. She
sits on top of a box that is a bit away from Neel now, watching him work in
the remaining things that litter the basement.

Varcel's footsteps can be heard echoing down the stairs well before his
arrival. Curious, considering his normally quiet tread. Of course, this
gives enough warning for private conversations to be hushed up before his
arrival. He steps into the area and looks around. He smiles at Espiria upon
seeing her, and nods politely to Neelkan. Given the light, he probably
can't see Espiria's tears.

Lifting up a few random objects from on top of the box, Neelkan moves them
around until they're all in there even with the top so that something could
be put over it and sealed closed if they wanted to later. He turns around
at the mention of possibly seeing Wyn. He doesn't seem to know how he feels
about that, just from the look on his face, then he shrugs, "I guess I
could manage a short visit t' Wyn." And of course, this is about the same
time he notices the person behind the approaching footsteps. His eyes
tighten once, then he settles it down and returns the nod back. Tension?
What tension? ... No... his fists didn't just clench really tight. Nope...
Well, alright. One of them did.

Espiria glances over to Neel, sighing softly as she nods. "Good. I know she
misses you, Neel. She alwasy gets a smile when you get to speak with her."
She chuckles softly, blinking as she glances toward the stairs. The smile
on her face when she sees who it is is definately genuine. "Varcel...It's
good to see you again." She sighs softly, leaving the book as she stands up
and moves over toward him. "I was just suggesting to Neel that we pay
Wyntere Sedai a visit. Would you like to join us?" She glances over to Neel
for a moment before looking back to Varcel, "If..you'd like to of course."
She has moved into the lighting that is down here and the tear stained
cheeks should be plainly visible right now to Varcel's eyes. "I needed to
tell her about something...that I just reciently found out." She glances
back over to the book, scowling for a moment before looking back to Varcel.

Varcel looks from one of you to the other, eyebrow raised in polite
inquiry. "If I wouldn't be intruding, then I'd be happy to." He courtesouly
ignores Neelkan's...less than welcoming demeanor. After all, it's not as if
it weren't over a worthy subject.

"I just figured she a'ways smiles." Neelkan answers truthfully. He's almost
never seen Wyntere upset, and it would probably bother him a great deal if
he did, but he doesn't say that, though, he may not need to. He unclenches
his fist and shrugs lightly, "Ya can come, Varcel." He's gotta learn to get
along with Varcel after all. Savren already threatened to throw them both
out if they started scuffling or anything.

Espiria glances from one to the other, nodding. "Alright..let's go see her
then." She smiles at both of you, walking over to take Neel by the arm and
then leading him over to Varcel who she takes by the arm in the same way
before leading you both into the door that leads to the dungeons. "Remember
all..try to be happy. For her sake and no mentioning of..umm...anything
else about things." She glances toward the stairs, "We have to let her be
angry for now..It's what helps her cope with what's happening." She turns
and heads thru.


Dungeon, White Tower, Tar Valon

Several large cells, with guards to surround them, march down the hall.
There are no unusual smells here, particularly, as the area is kept quite
clean. The worst thing about the area may be the "pit", the cell that is
actually dug into the floor with bars over it, reserved for the worst of
traitors, or channelers needing shielding.

Each cell contains a broad bench to lay upon, a chamber pot, emptied daily,
and straw upon the floor. If anything, the straw smell dominates. The iron
bars are sturdy, however, and each cell has a double lock, making them
nearly impossible to get out of, even if one did have a way around the
guards.


Okay, so who has no clue where they keep the evil monster locked away? Way
in the back by the pit of despair. Well, she'd be in the pit in it weren't
for the two male channelers down here. SO she has a nice cosy cell that she
and Johiah share. Upon the wooden bench, Johiah is sitting at one end
talking softly to his ward. Wyntere is laying upon the bench using Johiah's
lap as a pillow. She has two blankets around her now and is really looking
not so great. You can here the coughing from her as you come down the
hallways. Two Aes Sedai stand on either side of the cell maintaining the
sheild upon the Gray.

Espiria heads into the dungeons with two people linked in her arms. Varcel
is on one side. Neel is on the other. Yes, she puts on a brave face for
Wynt, but it seems she's been crying very reciently, but she's trying not
to be too upset when she first sees Wynt. Not that it lasts for long, but
she's going to make an effort anyway. Wynt would definately see the tear
stains on her face, that's how recient she'd been crying. She glances at
the two guarding Wynt for a moment, thinking of how she will ask them to
leave again. They can be so stubborn.

Varcel follows along quietly, keeping his face epxressionless. This one is
Espiria's show, and he's fine with that.

Moving into the dungeon with Espiria and Varcel, Neelkan is going to do his
very best not to punch the lights out of both the Aes Sedai in the dungeon.
Not to beat up all the guards and pick the lock on the cell and get Wyntere
out of this place. He won't. He won't. Grr. Grr. He bites down on his lower
lip to keep from yelling or anything. He's just going to stand here and try
to look happy and do his best not to kill anyone. Alright? Good.

Wyntere doesn't move much from the bench now. It's hard to stay warm and
well, she's not feeling good. But seeing the trio walking down does get a
soft smile. Until one of the gaurds turn on Espiria, "Child, there are to
be no relationships with boys until you reach the shawl. This means that it
is inappropriate to be arm in arm with them. You are to report to..."
Report where? The Monster? She's... cough... a darkfriend and the lowest of
the Aes Sedai right now. The Mother? like that'd help anything! "Come see
me after I get off duty." And she leaves it at that, for now...But weaves
of air do separate the three. Making sure that Neelkan and Varcel are not
touching the Accepted any more.

Espiria blinks a bit, about ready to tell the woman who had the nerve to
separate /friends/ that they couldn't be friends to go the blazes. Yes,
she's in a mood right now. Not the best of ones either. She actually glares
at the woman for a moment before sighing softly in frustration, "Yes Aes
Sedai." She frowns, looking at Varcel and Neel before she walks up to the
bars. Oh dear. Wynt's not looking so good. She scowls, glancing over to the
Aes Sedai. "Umm..Have either of you actuallly looked at her lately? She
doesn't look well and I don't think that prisoners are supposed to br
treated this way. Even those who are considered to be guilty of aomething
they didn't do." My..she is in a mood. She continues to look at both of the
women for a moment before she sighs and looks in to Wynt. "Wyntere sedai?
You don't look very well. May I help you?" The tar stains still show on her
face, but there is a grim determination as well set on her features. Almost
as though she had something new been added to herself reciently.

Varcel's face twitches now and again as he tries to keep his emotions from
showing. First annoyance at the sisters, then amusement at Espiria's
talking back, and then concern that she might push things. And finally,
chagrin at the state of the Mistress and her warder. ALmost absently, he
bows to the pair formally.

Alright. Can Neelkan hit the woman? Pleeeease?! He growls as he suddenly
has something pushing him away from his friend and outright glares at the
woman fit to kill. He even growls softly for a few moments, like an angry
puppy... Not that Espiria is his master or anything!! Grrr. He clenches his
fists and looks as if he just wants to go over and punch the woman for
channeling on him, and for being mean to Espi. Grrr. But he restrains
himself, barely, and heads over to Wyn, grumbling softly. So much for
trying to look happy...

Vorsha comes walking down the stairs, a large plate of herbs in her hands.
She curtseys to the Aes Sedai on guard. "I've been set to see to the
prisoners, Aes Sedai." she says to them all, and waits for them to open the
cages. She nods to her friends and rolls her eyes at the Air. Such a silly
thing.

Alright! Enough of these to Aes Sedai Gaurds. Wyntere coughs a bit and then
glances up to Johiah. She sighs and then pulls the blankets around her as
she heads over to the bars. "Sister, let's not anger these students. they
are merely friends and in times like the ones we live in, friends are some
of life's most precious things." Nope, Wyntere is angry at these Aes Sedai
too. She rubs her bloodshot eyes and then glances to Espiria. Biting her
lip, The Gray nods. "If you wish, Espiria. Anything is better than this
headache. And it's colder than snow down here." Smokey blue eyes glance to
Varcel and Neelkan. "Peace friends. These Aes Sedai only do what they think
is best and I can no longer provide an understanding to most of them.
Seems, no one listens to 'a darkfriend.'" And that is said with sacasm as
if you know she's annoyed with it. But heck, her best friend believes she's
a darkfriend so why shouldn't the rest of the tower? Wyntere glances over
to Vorsha.. Oh no.. just take those herbs back up to the infirmary. I'm
just fine, I don't need those nasty things!

Espiria moves forward to the bars, sighing softly as she nods to Wynt.
Well, at least the guards haven't told her she couldn't. She glances back
to Varcel and Neel, smiling softly before she beams a smile to Vorsha. How
thoughtful of her to do that for Wynt. Even if they may be the nasty
tasting ones. She crinckles her nose a moment turning back to Wynt before
she begins the delving. She is quiet for a moment, nodding to herself.
"Yes..that's just what I thought." She sighs softly begining the weave she
was taught by Kirra Sedai for such cases like this and she falls silent for
the time being.

Vorsha pauses for a moment, watching what Espiria does and filling that
away. SHe smiles. New weave! Then she waits for the guard to open the cages
and steps inside. "Don't glower at me, Wyntere Sedai." she says, putting
down the tray. "These are my latest attempt at good tasting herbs." At
least /this one/ won't burn them to cynders.

Asking Neelkan to calm down is like asking a fire to stop. It doesn't quite
work like that. He glances at Vorsha and rolls his eyes up to the ceiling.
Not her! Then looks back at Wyn, offering a half-smile. It's the best he
can give right now. He still looks like he wants to beat up the Aes Sedai
guards though.

Wyntere backs away from the open doors and makes her way back over towards
the bench. "Well, if they are opening the gates, you might as well all come
in." And yes, Vorsha does get another glare. "Vorsha, honestly, I'm just
fine without herbs." Oh it don't matter what their taste is.. she'll argue
them all. hard enough to get this Gray to accept healing. Wrapping the
blankets around her she glances at Espiria as if asking for help here. Come
on.. you both can heal. Why bother with bringing herbs?? heck, she's doomed
for death anyways... why spend the energy? Alright, the Gray has gotten
stubborn and she'll stay that way. Too Soft?? Pah! We'll show that
Christabel who's soft!

Espiria moves to enter the cell, watching Vorsha and her herbs with a
raised brow. She smiles at Wynt, shaking her head. "I'm going to take the
worst of how you feel now. I heard that cough..and I heard you sneezing the
other day. Your catching a cold down here and it could turn bad if I don't
take care of it now." She glances over to Vorsha, smiling at her friend.
"Yes..Vorsha has been working very hard on her herbs lately so they taste
good instead of tasting bitter. Mother even fried her last batch..if you
can believe that. So I hope you aren't going to do that, Wyntere Sedai.
Vorsha's only trying to help you." She tips her head to one side, smiling
at Wynt. "Now just try to relax and let me work, alright? So you can at
least feel better than you obviously do now?" Her mind strays to Varcel,
standing outside and waiting for her. She's sure he probably has questions
about her tear streaked face and it's probably because Wynt feels so badly
that she hasn't noticed.

Varcel may indeed have questions, but he's more serious than normal at the
moment, given the sight before him. He stands there quietly, his eyes
taking in everything.

Looking around at Vorsha, then to the guards, then to Wyntere, Neelkan
suddenly just can't seem to stay down here any longer. He looks as if he's
suddenly trapped in something awful and he can't get out. He offers a look
at Espi and Wyn before saying, "I have t' go. I... forgot about a lesson I
had." Then he starts towards the gate quickly. Though Varcel would likely
know he didn't have another lesson for a hour or so...