A Gentlemanly Scholar
Robert (aka �Stop thief!�) is the most important part of the Dark Town Strutters team. The other members must stand when he enters the room and remain silent while he speaks. Sometimes he takes Sam out the back and gives him a damn good thrashing. These beatings are sudden and extremely violent.
Robert�s main dream is not to become a famous rock star (on the contrary he hates all music and every form of artistic expression), but to make love to first the oldest woman in the world, and then the youngest.
As a bassist Robert can be best described as �a nervous, sweaty, bumbling beginner�. His equipment is second in poor quality only to the drums of Liam Hart. Robert uses a San Doga bass and a Samick amp. The bass and amp were both provided for a small fee by Giles Coverdale, a school friend of Robert�s, now a vagrant.
There is nothing Robert likes more than a large beaker of warm cat milk.