Some of you may find it laughable that someone bothered to create this section of the webpage. Perhaps it is laughable that a Dark Town Strutters webpage was created at all... ***Yes yes, due to budget constraints the Hon. Robert Dowd is removing the news section. What is the point? Who reads the damned news anyway? For God's sake who even looks at this webpage apart from Robert and Sam Harvey(when Robert tells him to because he has added something)?!

Robert and Sam would like to apologise to anyone who has ever seen this webpage for being so conceited as to believe that you would want to read news concerning the Dark Town Strutters. Who wants to know the sordid details of the DTS questionable career? No one, that's who. The news shall be left to the professionals. Thank you. (The news that was there when I wrote this will be left for sentimental reasons. Does that make me a hypocrite? Probably).

December 21 2001: What, more news?! I thought it was only fair to let you know that through the process of mitosis, I have split into two separate people. It is going to take some getting used to. I had to buy a whole other pair of shoes. Liam's funeral went off without a hitch and was a great success so we're all really stoked. Jonathan's skink eating has become a problem for the whole band, especially when we are performing. He is seeking help for it though and that takes real courage. We're all really proud of you Jono(than).


Novenber 20 2001: This, loyal patrons, is, as you know, the first news entry in quite a while. While Robert says that there will be no news, I (Sam) have gone behind his back and added an entry. Liam has passed away. Yes that's right. It's very sad. He was crushed by a big rock when he was walking out to get the morning paper. The rock left the scene of the crime swiftly and was reportedly seen buying a disguise from 'Disguises and misc.', an Auckland disguise outlet.

Also, I have gone blind and Jonathan (Dick) ate a wriggly skink straight from the garden. OK.
This may very well be the last news entry. *sob*


May 1 2001: This is the news: SHUT UP!


March 3 2001: It is here by noted that Robert D. has officialy released the responsiblity of updating this page. Yes, thats right. He has passed the job onto me (Sam), devilishly handsome and partialy retarded vocalist of the notorious Dark Town Strutters. Unfortunately I'm not as charmingly eloquent as he, for I come from a sordid background of filth and debauchery. However, I vow to do my best to retain the mediocre standard of penmanship (or in his case keyboardmanship?) that Rob offered to you as web master. Oh yeah, one other thing: Rob still has final say on what goes up and what don't. OK? Ace.


November 19 2000: On Saturday the 18th the Dark Town Strutters played their first gig. It was at Pizza Pizza in Auckland City. They played 3 songs and had an absolutely smashing time. The gig was to showcase the considerable talents of Royalty in Exile, and thank you to Royalty in Exile for inviting the DTS to play. The other bands were Suburban Vermin, The Scholnicks and Unit Y.


November 8 2000: This is the official opening of the news section of the DTS website. To celebrate, Robert updated the page whilst dressed as a farmer.


The Current Situation (as of 8/11/00): The Dark Town Strutters are progressing at a fair pace, even writing their own songs. Since the Dark Town Strutters Homepage was created (approximately August 2000) there have been several major developments:

1. Liam purchased a set of drums (money borrowed from Sam).
2. Liam purchased cymbal stands (cymbals no longer have to be suspended from ceiling on lengths of twine).
3. Dick returned from Scotland and added much needed ability to the band.
4. Sam Harvey purchased fancy new guitar and amp.
5. Liam seen eating chicken sandwhich in bustop.
6. Liam seen eating corned beef sandwhich near bustop.
7. Liam seen eating marmalade sandwhich (wholegrain bread), dropping it and then offering it to first Robert Dowd, and then Sam Harvey. Sam Harvey accepts sandwhich.

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