noni2

Well, my mother often told me that it would be wise (and fun) to keep a journal. That way, when I'm older I could look back and remember what I thought about things Turns before.
I never kept a journal under her bidding, but now Amera has told me that since the clutch on the Sands won't hatch for quite some time, it might be "wise" to start a journal. Only for Alina will I do this, because she said she did the very same, and has kept a journal, and if I ever become a dragonrider, I'd rather be more like Alina than my mother.
But for all my fourteen turns, I still can't believe that I've been Searched! Blue Rolth and the brown Nelmirth landed at my father's small holding just a sevenday ago. I was working in the vegetable garden when I saw the two dragons land, and my father talking to their riders.
I didn't go over to the dragons, I must admit they were very imposing...I've never seen a dragon up close before. But the blue, Rolth, turned his head towards me, his eyes whirling with the most magnificent colours. I smiled at him, and I almost could swear he dipped his head at me-as if to acknowledge my smile. But before I could do anything else my mother called me in to take care of my two younger siblings. The little twins, Lemax and Pildy, were a constant trouble to her.
But the next morning, when I came down for breakfast, I heard a loud bugle form outside. Excited that the dragons were still around, I raced outside to see them.
The brown was already in the air, with his rider, and to my astonishment, my friend Calina on his back. At that moment all I could think was that Calina had been Searched and I was left behind, without my best friend, and I was jealous of her. Tremendously jealous.
But I had failed to notice the blue dragon, still on the ground, obviously not letting his rider mount.
What a rucus he was causing! But I did manage to get close enough to "overhear" the bluerider yelling at his dragon.
"Rolth! Stop that now! We can't take her, she's the holder's daughter. We have enough Candidates, but I doubt he'll let his daughter go...." And so forth, but I didn't pay much attention. Were they talking about me? I was the only holders daughter he could mean. My older sister Trivi had to many Turns to be a Candidate, and several children of her own already. Then there were the twins, both sisters of mine, but much too young at two turns. The rest were brothers, I've five you know. But father would never stop me from being a Candidate, he loved us all to much to stand in our way. Without thinking I ran up to K'net (the bluerider) and tugged his sleeve. I told him I'd be glad to go, if it was me he was talking about, and if it was me, then obviously his dragon wasn't about to leave without me on his back! The rider laughed at me, and I told him that if he didn't take me, then he'd only have problems with his dragon later, and possibly the weyrleaders? Then of course I told him not to laugh at me, because I do hate to be laughed at.
He looked solemnly at me, and seemed to be considering it.
Oh do come on rider, the girl is better than acceptable, she'll Impress and be a great rider! Have I been wrong on one yet?
"Well, there is that." K'net admitted. Not aware that I had heard Rolth, he explained to me what the dragon had said. I smiled when he finished. But thought to the dragon, and asked him if I would always hear him?
No, but since you've never bespoke a dragon, and you will Impress, I suppose I can get to know you better, Noni. I got the impression the dragon was speaking to me somewhat shyly. But just because I've never heard a dragon, doesn't mean I'm going to waste that time being amazed with it, and never get anywhere.
I asked him how he knew my name, but all I received was something of a mind "chuckle", and I haven't heard him speak

The weyr they put me in was huge, which I quickly filled up with all my belongings. I have no reason to believe that I'd be forced to move anytime soon, so why not make myself feel at home? The weyrleaders had all but promised me a dragon, and so have their dragons for that matter, even though I've only ever heard Rolth speak.
Don't get me wrong, I know I stand only a chance to Impress, and it's the dragons who choose, but I find myself trusting the people here at Rathlin, and the hope in me is so great, I cannot help but believe that someday soon, I will have a dragon to call my own. But just thinking about makes me unhappy, although I can't say why.

I've found plenty of pigmants in the store-rooms, and have begun mixing some colours. It is tradition in Rathlin that all Candidates do something to their weyrs in expectance of a new dragonet living there. I've decided to paint five dragons, one of each rank, fighting Thread. How I hate Thread! That horrible silvery thing took the life of my childhood friend Danman. I still miss him.
But Calina and I are here together, she is stitching a large quilt for the dragon couch in her weyr. A plain, but beautiful pattern. But I notice something in Calina, that I had never seen before at home. At home she was the quiet, funny, friendly girl. She was innocent and knowledgable at the same time. Now I see her skipping around the weyrs, finding different dragonriders to spend nights with. I don't envy her, but I do wonder what brought about this change. I asked her about it, but she just shrugged, so I left her weyr, angry with my friend.
But I have seen the eggs hardening on the Sands. I see Nesyath, Alina's queen, zealously guarding her eggs. There is one queen egg in this clutch, and I can only dream about riding the queen.

The most wonderful things happen here though, because some of the Candidates were gifted with fire-lizard eggs. As a thanks I suppose, for being here, at this tiny little weyr.
Mine hatched brown, a beautiful brown fire-lizard. Very big for a brown, as there is still some differences in the size of fire-lizards, like there is in dragons. But I never felt happier than I did the moment his eyes stared into mine when he hatched, and I knew he would be mine forever. I named him Tryk, after a canine I had when I was very young. He's the most exquisite creature I've ever beheld.
Calina's hatched a gold, but the thing flew between before she could Impress. There were no more eggs left for her to try again. She said it didn't bother her, that she'd get her dragon soon enough, and not just any dragon, but probably the queen.. I yelled at her then for being so arrogant and snobby, I do believe that Calina and I will soon cease to be friends. But nonetheless, I felt sorry for her, because I saw the sad, faraway look in her eyes when the little fire-lizard lept from her grasping arms into between.

I knew that Calina and I would soon cease to be friends. Her placatingly fake sweetness and arrogance is beginning to annoy me very much, and I suppose that my unsureness in the weyr enviroment annoys her too. She already finds herself pregnant, two months after we arrive here. She's taken brownrider L'nylk as her official mate. She refused to speak to me about her decisions. "A queenrider explains herself to no one..." she is fond of saying. To which I always reply, ever-so-sweetly, that she is not a queenrider. Then we get into a larger fight, and I always leave. But I do miss our days in my father's hold.
I asked Alina, who seems to always find the time to "train" me in the ways of a weyrwoman ('in case the need ever arrises for you to take control of the Weyr, for any length of time'), and I asked her about Calina. Alina looked sad and said that the girl never had a chance to be highborn, or high ranked, so the weyr was he chance to make something of herself. But Alina's eyes flashed angrily, and I knew that she didn't like Calina much either right now.
I find myself making many acquaintances in the weyr, but not many friends. Alina says that's just weyrlife. You know everybody, but are not personal with hardly anybody. But I just shrugged, and I wonder why it doesn't bother me more. I suppose with the eggs so close to hatching, I've other things on my mind.
I finished the weyr painting (finally!-and with no help from Tryk, with his footprints on the wall), and have started collecting and mixing more colours. On the norhternmost wall I am painting a picture of my old home, and my family. I do miss them all, but here at the Weyr I have so much freedom, I'm beginning to realize that my personality here is nothing like at the Hold.
I've always thought of myself as friendly, pleasant, and somewhat calm. Now, little things bother me more than normal, and I am angry with anyone who disturbs my peace of mind, wherever and whatever that happens to be. I didn't ask Alina on this one, but I did try to talk to Rolth about it. He didn't answer me but I felt his presence and a warm, reassuring feeling coming from him.
So I paint mostly now, and take care of Tryk ( a neverending job of oiling and feeding), and sometimes venture out to get some fresh air and be closer to the dragons.

I haven't much time to right this...the eggs are beginning to hatch now! I only wanted one last entry about this...I hope I Impress. Good Luck Noni! There's T'mark now.. I will see you later.

I don't believe I've ever felt as sad and lonely as I do right now. Not even Tryk cheers me up much, for all his silly antics. Those Sands were so wonderful at first, and so miserable at the end.
No dragon for me, no dragon for Noni. I feel so bad, like I don't deserve to be here...
Oh do stop it! Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You're starting to sound like Calina. So what you didn't Impress? There'll be another clutch, Alina's already told me I can stay for whenever that is.
I'll never forget standing there, with the other girls, in a circle around the queen egg. Facing outward though, so the greens could all see us too, in case one of them wanted on of us.
I loved watching the little dragonets pairing off with the boys on the Sands. Many of the girls were crying, and I thought them silly wherries for it. Why cry for happiness? I never could understand that one.
But then a little green came up the girls, creeling hungrily. She was walking right for me, and my heart caught in my throat. Would she be mine? I stood there, full of hope and desire as she clumbered closer. She was so close I could reach out my arm and touch her, and she was looking right at me, but Calina, standing next to me, saw this with jealousy in her eyes. I don't think I'll ever forgive her for this, but she fell to her knees next to the little green, blocking me from view, stroking her wet back and crooning about how beautiful she was. The little green tried to get past at first, but must have felt some sort of need from Calina, so one could tell when Calina stopped faking Impression, and when it really occured. Calina's face was wide with amazement.
"It worked..." She murmured, and I felt so alone as Caline said, "Her name is Lanth!" Then a tear came down my cheek. Because I knew that dragon was going to choose me, but never got the chance. How did Calina know she could do that? How could she....didn't anyone ever tell that wherrybrat that coercing the hatchlings led to greater problems later on? She deserved what she got with Lanth, but I still can't believe she did that to me. Her "friend".
I saw Alina's face, angry and indignant over what Calina had done. But then she motioned me to turn around, and I saw the queen egg hatching. The most amazing vibrations went through everyone watching. All us girls were to scared, so expectant. Then the shell cracked, a perfect seam down the middle, and a large, golden dragonet tumbled out. Shaking herself off she moaned hungrily and began to lurch around the circle of girls, trying to find one of us exceptable. She stopped at me for just a moment, and my breath caught in my throat. Would I get the queen? I sent loving thoughts her way, but she continued past me until she reached another girl, whose name I still don't know, and the girl began to weep and stroke the little queen.
"Oh Elvanth, you are so wonderful..." and she led the little queen away. I turned around, seeing if there were any greens left looking for someone to look to, but all there was, was a little brown, tossing boys aside trying to find that perfect match. He found his match in an older boy, from another weyr, and the boy announced his name was Limith, and he too led his dragonet away. I turned around to leave the Sands with the rest of the lost and lonely. I was the only one without tears in my eyes.
How I hate Calina!

Alina told me that she gave Calina something to remember, and then sent the girl, to another Weyr, trading her for another green-rider weryling. Alina told me it was common practice to help out the small weyrs. Larger weyrs took "problem riders" that they were more equipped to handle, and in exchange gave them a rider of the same rank.
I thought it was funny when L'nylk decided not to follow Calina to her new home. I knew he would eventually see through her pettiness. I told me yesterday that he knew what Calina did with Lanth, he was watching, and he didn't believe in that behaviour, in anyone. I felt grateful to him, and I've decided not to let this hatching get me down to much. I'll try again, already Alina's told me that Nesyath cycles fairly often, and that within another Turn I'll be on the Sands again. But I dreamed last night of the little green Lanth, begging me to help her, and Calina chasing us with three golden fire-lizards, which she called her children. I woke up in sweats.
Good night.
Noni.

I suppose everything has it's reason, and weyrlife agrees with me. I'm doing quite well here, making sure things run smoothly and efficiently. Since I'm without a dragon, I decided to make myself useful in other ways. In my complete awe of Alina, I try to make sure things run better for her. For her, and all the dragonriders, because they see the most horrifying things, and shouldn't have to worry about tunnelsnakes in the weyrs, or the herdbeasts left out in the cold and tacking sick. Surprising that happened more than one would expect.
I helped out the kitchen with cooking, and with keeping the weyrs in a state of cleanliness, and with making sure all the riders knew their duties, and when to attend meetings, and such. No one could complain I was useless, and when Nesyath rouses again, Amera promised me a spot on the Sands. But each clutch had a maximum number based on the number of eggs (so too many wouldn't leave broken hearted), and with people vying to get places at Rathlin Weyr, to make a name for themselves, it was with guilt that I accepted the fact that my Candidacy stood in the place of some other girls, some other life, dream, hope, joy.
But knowing Lanth was almost mine once, so I'm certain that there's another dragon for me.
Speaking of Lanth, I don't believe I've yet mentioned Calina. The first year for her was apperantly wonderful, she and Lanth were like a true bonded pair, not coerced. But when it became time to train for fighting Threads, trouble happened. Calina and Lanth couldn't communicate properly, and they had enormous difficulty learning to fly between. Lanth popping out in all sorts of places Calina never intended. Then, under the stress of their first Threadfall, Lanth could not hear Calina's orders. Lanth had to communicate with other dragons of the Wing to finish that day. The Weyrleader there told Alina he'd seen that once before. Any Candidate can coerce certain dragons (usually greens and blues), into Impression. This happends by overwhelming them with thoughts and feelings of that Candidate, which the dragon cannot escape. Usually, because this expresses such love and need, the dragon will choose that rider instead of the one originally intended. This is a highly punishable offense, but because you can't punish the dragon, you have to wait to punish the rider. And this is how that goes...
Once the pair are past the weyrling stage, maturity begins to imprint on the dragons mind. A sense of self, not just the rider appears. This causes no problems for normally bonded pairs, but for forced pairs there is a little trouble communicating. Then, when real stress comes into play (such as that encountered during Threadfall), the pair cannot keep their minds together.
The Weyrleader said the last pair he saw like this ended up between forever, sad, and he's afraid something similiar will happen to Calina and Lanth. I feel sad for them, especially Calina, because at one time she was my friend. But I feel loss for Lanth, she doesn't deserve to to have Calina, she deserves someone who really loves her.

Alina has told me the eggs will hatch today or tomorrow. There is one queen egg in the bunch. Nesyath always lays queens! This weyr will populate itself by Nesyath alone! Amera is bursting with pride, and T'mark is a fine weyrleader by all means. There is always open flights when Nesyath rises, and T'mark's bronze Vorth always flies her. I've finished my fourth mural, in addition to several more of my little "paintings" on the weyr walls. The fourth shows a Clutch of dragon's eggs hatching, Impressing people standing in the circle around them. K'net said it looked so real, so joyous, that it made me want to cry, because the focus of this painting was the one boy, in the back, who wasn't Impressing. I don't know why it made me want to cry though, I do so hate crying. Perhaps it's just the way everyone is lately, so downhearted. Rathlin's got fifty-one dragons now, and not nearly enough to protect the Hold Rathlin. Luckily for us Thread falls lightly on this side of the continent at this time of year, soon enough we'll have more dragons. Thirty-five more to be exact, plus the one queen egg, and another Weyr (I've yet to learn the name), has "donated" two greens, who wanted to help the smaller Weyr out. This other Weyr apperantly hasn't much room left, and also has eggs on the Sands. Alina says they're "cleaning out", getting rid of the junk to make room for new stuff. I though that was rude of her, dragons aren't junk. Alina told me then that the two riders we were getting were very old, and only flew Thread half the time, always complaining of pains and sicknesses. But I argued two riders are two riders, at least they can fly! Alina laughed, and relented, finally agreeing with me before Weyr business took her elsewhere. I do wish I could spend more time in Alina's company, she is the most fascinating person, apperantly she used to be a drudge at a minor fishing hold somewhere in the east, but she was Searched, and Impressed and with a few other riders, answered the new Hold Rathlin's plea for help and protection.
But all the dragonriders are busy these days, so I tend to spend more time in the kitchen's company than anywhere else. I'm tired now, and going to sleep..goodnight Noni, I shall see you in the morning...perhaps the eggs will hatch soon.

Tradition is tradition, and my tradition is this. The eggs are hatching now, for all it being in the earliest of early morning. K'net has called me down, and I must hurry. Good luck Noni...and try not to think of Lanth.

We set ourselves up the same this time, looking outward from the queen eggs. There were more green eggs than in the last clutch, so it looked good for us girls standing Canidate. The first egg hatched green, which isn't a good sign, but I'm not supersticious, so I paid it no heed.
I watched as the little creature stumbled her way towards a very small boy, standing in the back, crying at him, and it so reminded me of my painting, that I felt my heart catch in my throat. He fell to the Sands weeping, like it was the first touch of love, of care, of kindness, that he'd ever felt.
It is. I heard someone say, and knew it was Rolth, although I didn't think much on it then.
Her name was Quoth, and the boys name was Lerdis, but is now L'red. After that the hatching went by fast, and three greens found mates among the girls. None came for me, but deep down I felt that none would. And when the queen egg began to hatch, I somehow knew she wasn't for me either.
The queen took awhile to hatch, and hatched small as a brown dragonet at that, and headed straight for a weyrbred girl named Jennaiy. The queen's name was Erketh, and later I heard Alina saying that a small queen was an asset in it own way, because she would probably rise more often, and require less space than a full-sized queen. But she did seem concerned about the queen choosing a weyrbred for a partner. I didn't feel so bad this time, because I knew there was no dragon for me in that clutch, but last night I woke up in sweats because I just realized if Lanth was my dragon, and I didn't get her, then I'd may never Impress. But Tryk was right there next to me, crooning softly and reassuring me so much that I believed him. He knew I wasn't finished with dragons yet!

Six more months have passes since that last hatching, and my life at the weyr kept getting worse. Now the weyrlings are pestering me, teasing me and making fun of me because I did not Impress. I don't know what they're laughing about, the oldest of them stood five clutches before he Impressed!
I'd almost decided to go home, I haven't seen the little twins in ages, and I miss my brothers too. I'm also hearing certain rumours about my parents, Nonton and Pelqui. People are saying that there's scandal in my father's hold, and that my mother ran off with another man, and came back for fear of her life. I know people just talk, but I keep writing my parents for answers, and nothing ever comes back. I'd ask one of the dragonriders, but I'd feel like a silly wherry because none of it is likely to be true. Maybe I'll ask Alina to put a stop to the rumours, that way she'll either say yes or be forced to tell me if something's really going on.
But I have made friends with a girl from the lower caverns, her name is Lopeeka. Everyone calls her Loppy, but she hates that. She has a gold fire-lizard called Izza, and Lopeeka's promised to give me an egg from that clutch to send to my family, because as far as she knows they've yet to be gifted with fire-lizards.
Lopeeka's lived around dragons all her life, but she's terrified of them. Instead, she says she'd rather leave the weyr and join the Beasthall and raise runners. She and another girl, Tairya, talk constantly of runners, and often invite me to go for long rides outside the weyr when we've rest days with no Thread. I enjoy their company, and am find myself relaxing into a pattern at the weyr.

Lopeeka's little Izza rose and clutched. The clutch was fairly large, even by fire-lizard standards, and, keeping true to her promise, Lopeeka let me choose one of the eggs to send to me family. I asked K'net if he could take me home in a few days to give it to my parents. He agreed. I'm keeping the egg in a pot by my hearth. Tryk seems to be very interested and protective of that egg, and is even wary to let me get close enough to turn the pot. Stupid lizard.

You'll never believe what happened! Or maybe you will, the little egg hatched and I Impressed him! It happened quite be accident. I wasn't aware the egg was that hard, but K'net had been busy, and I had been busy, and then yesterday evening I heard Tryk begin to hum, and suddenly Izza was there too, humming along. I knew that meant the eggs was about to hatch, and there was no time for me to take it home! I didn't know what to do, but before I could think the little egg split and a tiny brown fire-lizard fell into my arms. He fluttered about and cried pitiously, but I held him and found something for him to nibble on, while I called down to the kitchens for some meat to be brought up immediatly.
The poor thing was tiny, half the size of Tryk when he Impressed. I didn't think anything could be born that was that small, but the little one proved to be strong enough to survive, he gorged with a passion. I had Impressed him.
Lopeeka came in awhile later, with Izza on her shoulder.
"I saw from Izza that..." She exclaimed as she walked into my "weyr", and stopped when she saw the little creature, napping in my arms and Tryk standing protectively by. "You Impressed?" She asked, and I smiled, and she smiled. I knew she wasn't angry because I "kept the egg for myself". I explained it to her, and she got a far away look in her eyes.
"I wasn't supposed to Impress Izza either, my mother was." Then she laughed, and I laughed, and I knew it would all be okay. She asked me what I was going to name him, and I said I didn't know. She told me to name him 'Little' because he was so small, or 'Litt' for short. I wanted to call him 'Onlin', but someone in the weyr had a fire-lizard with almost that exact same name believe it or not, so we compromised and called him Liln. Little Liln.

Nearly 3 Turns have I been here a Rathlin, and I've yet to find my niche. Nesyath has laid yet another clutch on the Sands, and is guarding the three eggs of a young green who laid there as well. There is no queen egg, but I've been getting the strongest feelings from this clutch, I know this time I will Impress.
Little Liln is at his full growth now, about half the size of Tryk (who is very large). So I have one oversized fire-lizard and one undersized one. They cause the most racket, out of all the fire-lizards in the weyr. They play fight constantly, and make a mess of everything. But I love them for it.
Lopeeka is being allowed to stand Canidate on the Sands his time because of the shortage of girls. I am happy for her, even if she is not happy herself. For all her years in the weyr, she's never been on the Sands during a Hatching, and if deathly afraid what will happen if she is not chosen. I feel that she is counting to much on Impressing. But I remember Lanth, and then reassure her that she'll get a dragon, and if she doesn't, then there's still the Beasthall and her runners, and wasn't that her dream to begin with? To which Lopeeka just smiles, and hugs me. We're very close, the two of us, closer than I ever was to Calina.

The clutch is hatching tomorrow, and this morning Alina pulled me aside to reassure me. She said the Nesyath told it was important I was there for this Hatching. I tried not to let my hopes get to high, but I couldn't help it. Did the dragons know something I didn't? I tried to reach out to Rolth, to ask him, but I got nothing. Oh how it would be to be able to talk to a dragon whenever you wanted!
But I also fear what will happen to me if I don't Impress this time. Alina's cutting back on the amount of time a Candidates allowed to stand on the Sands. She says that until Rathlin's numbers are higher, they can't afford to keep Candidates around for Turns, waiting to Impress. After this announcement I made myself twice as invaluable in all weyr activity. I've no where to go after this weyr. I'm too old to return home, and a relieving letter from my mother assures me all is well, but the Hold was having some trouble supporting itself. Not enough land apperantly, and too many people, even all working hard.
Mother's given the family another son, and named him Nonager, after his "big sister who was Searched for the weyr!". I felt ashamed upon reading this, because I had failed to write and mention that I may not be at the weyr much longer. My oldest brother, Pell, has requested the Lord Holder for land, and permission to start his own hold. He's taking quite a few people with him, including half of my family.
The twins are apperantly just fine after they got the winter-sickness last Turn. They've both taken a fascination with runners, and are in the beastholds as often as not, learning how to ride properly, and constantly getting in the way of people trying to do their jobs. Mother indulges them in this, while apperantly father is trying to keep them out of the way.
News of my family did me good, I had thought they had forgotten all about me. All the little things Mother mentioned in her letters, the little squabbles, the workings of the hold, the new Harper, they all made me feel very homesick. I decided to ask K'net to take me for a visit before the eggs hatched. But K'net said he was much too busy, but after the Hatching he would have time, but maybe, after the Hatching, I would have a dragon and could go there myself. I was grateful to him for saying that, because lately the weyrleader T'mark has been giving me the most unnerving glances. I feel myself beginning to not like T'mark very much any longer. But of I Impress tomorrow, all will be well indeed.

I tried! I tried! But I just couldn't do it. My life seems to be crashing down around me as I watch the newly hatched dragons and their new partners. For the first time in my three Turns here, I cried.
I cried like a little child when the Hatching was done, and I was safely back in my "weyr". Liln and Tryk crooned and caressed me with their little noses. But it didn't fill that empty longing within myself. How could it?
The girls stood around the circle with the boys this time, as there wasn't a queen in this clutch. The first egg that hatched did so dramatically, flinging it's shell all around it. A large bronze scuttled from his remaining shell, directly towards a tall, lanky lad of about fifteen. The hatching seemed to drag after that. Almost in a registered order the eggs hatched. Most of the bronzes first, then three browns, one more bronze, then all the blues. Finally the green eggs began to rock and crack and shatter, and every girl held their breath expectantly.
The greens couldn't seem to make up their mines at all, any of them. The eight in the clutch stumbled around the Hatching Ground crying hungrily, stopping and starting and stopping again. It was the tensest moment of my life, even more so then when Lanth looked right into my eyes, and I was just waiting for her to pick me.
The first green to choose, chose a young girl named Natie, and the girl cried out increduously, "Her name is Pickth!" And at that moment I knew there wasn't going to be an Impression today, not for me. After that the rest of the greens settled up quickly with the girls, and one chose a boy. Neither I, nor Lopeeka Impressed that day. Now I know I will have to leave the weyr, and my heart is empty because I have grown to love the weyr, and know that weyrlife is the only way I can live happily. What will become of me now? I can only fear for it.

The hatching time grows very near. They are bringing in the last of the Candidates, and every day I grow more and more fearful of what hatching day will bring. I have met the Weyrwoman, although she is extremely busy, and she seems very kind. It is her Yukith that is dam to the eggs by the way, and she assures me that I am fine for a Candidate. She says the dragons like me, and that there is no reason I should consider myself any different from first time Candidates. I still wonder how she knows all this..... I must go, they are holding classes again and I am late. I am the only girl who is not eager for those classes, although the boy Inlec does seem quite wary of being around us all as well. Goodbye.

I've made good friends with Eroyik; another Candidate here. He is well mannered, smart, and seems to take the sting out of any situation, even better than Liln or Tryk ever could. Alina told me to be on the lookout for Candidates who seem the type to help out Rathlin, and I think Eroyik would by perfect. I've been spending a lot of time with him, (we get along so well!), and rumours are flying about what's "really" going on.
Unfortunately I don't think anything is. Although I really wouldn't mind if it did. (maybe). Eroyik is perfect for me, but something is missing. Some spark isn't there between us. It doesn't matter, he is still a good friend, and I intend to keep him that way. Even my few friends at Rathlin aren't as important to me as he has become. I know he feels the same way about me. He's never really had close friends either, and he is sensitive and honest enough to know that we are close and good together.

No time to talk! The dragons are humming and I must go....I'm late already...Good luck Noni! Try not to be afraid....

Kozuth. The name means everything to me now. She is the most perfect, amazing, beautiful creature to ever hatch from an egg. She has just fallen asleep, but I cannot do the same because I cannot stop looking at her and thanking Faranth that she is alive and here with me today.
Standing on that hatching ground was the tensest moment of my life. Even Eroyik's constant reassurances didn't help, especially when he Impressed a brown. The brown's name was Keroth, and I didn't think I'd ever get over the look on, E'ryk's face when he saw his dragonet for the first time. (I know how much Eroyik hated nicknames, but I told him E'ryk suited him perfectly, so he kept it at that)
But anyway, there I was, watching everybody pair off with hatchlings. Yukith was nearby, crooning to her children, and all the other, strange to me, dragons were on the ledges approving of the matches.
I remember watching Inlec, or Oinlece, Impress the queen. She sure surprised everybody. I'd even talked to her a couple of times, and never guessed she wasn't a boy. It was too wonderful though, to see her with her new queen. I didn't have the heart to be jealous like some of the other girls. But then one by one they were chosen by greens and I began to feel frightened again. What if I wasn't chosen? What if no dragon wanted me? After all the trouble I'd caused, what would people think of me if I failed to Impress again? I wouldn't be able to stay, it wouldn't be right.
But just then a very dark green hatchling came towards me. As I turned to look at her I held my breath. Was she....? Then I knew it was true. I took steps towards her, and I heard her voice for the first time. Oh, what a beautiful voice for my beautiful little darling. I remember exactly what she said. Everything else melted away from the moment her eyes met mine.
Noni, she called, I am here. We will go to Rathlin now, and we will show all of them how wrong they were! I am tough enough to take it Noni, I am strong! We'll show them all! Together we will Noni, together!
I laughed at her, she was perfect! At that moment I realized how sappy I'd let my life become, all fear and crying and nothing of substanance. Well, Kozuth changed that. I told her we'd be going for more than just showing off, we'd be fighting and working at the Weyr. She didn't believe me, but then she was hungry, and I had to feed her.
We were in the bowl, with all the other new weyrlings, and I realized just how pushy she was. She nudged a bronze out of her way to get to a bowl of meat! I had to tell her that I would feed her, that she didn't need to do that! She snorted at me, hissed warningly at the bronze (who was afraid of her by then I fear), and then crooned as she came to me.
I saw E'ryk with his brown for just a brief moment, and I told him I'd him tomorrow. He said okay, but he was as preoccupied by Keroth as I was by Kozuth.
And now I can't go to sleep. Every time I try I just look down at her, and become awake once more. She may not be sappy and emotional, but I still am. Especially over her. But oh, the other weyrlings are growing upset that I still have a glowbasket on for writing. I shall stop for now. We'll see what tomorrow will bring. I will try to draw Kozuth here as she grows.
- I just realized there is some light in here afterall from the glows outside in the hall. My cot is right next to the doorway, so I can still write. But looking at Kozuth I've decided I'd draw her portrait instead. She is so wonderful......