| A Dog Named Sex By Morty Storm Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I called mine "Sex." He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrasment. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog lisence, I told the clerk I would like a lisence for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too." Then, I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid." When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special one for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you dont' seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem." One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking dissapointed. I told him I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore." When my wife and I separted, we went to court to fight for the custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please." Then, I told him after that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me, too." Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday. |