| On Cyber Sex |
| A1. Many people on the Internet indulge in what's known as Cyber Sex. By definition I suppose we could call it "mutual masturbation". I have done this in the past, when it was a novel idea, but do not enjoy it at all, anymore, so I've removed it from my Internet activities... A2. Some people consider the practice disgusting and immoral, others consider it boring. No doubt there are many more opinions of it on the negative side as well as the positive. I'm sure that "Rona" would consider it just a natural thing to do... and an extension of intimacy. I do not. A3. In order to understand my view of the practice of "Cyber" we have to look at the fundamental issue of what the practice accomplishes. All aspects of Cyber focus one's mind and goals on having an Orgasm, for men. I'm not a woman, so I cannot comment on what it achieves for you who are female. But, I will bundle both genders into this paradigm and please, ladies correct me if I'm wrong. A4. So, what's wrong with having an Orgasm? ...Absolutely nothing. Gaud knows I enjoy having them myself but I am more concerned with timing and the whole adventure, not with only having an orgasm and rolling over and going to sleep. The problem lies in the motivation as a goal in bed. If I focused on only having an orgasm, then like most men, the sexual encounter would be finished, once that was achieved. The problem starts with one's goals. A5. If a person goes to bed with a partner with only the desire to have an orgasm, then there is nothing left to be accomplished once it has been achieved and that's the end of the sex, usually. But, if there is a desire to be pleasing to one's partner and we make that the goal, then the adventure can last for hours, days, years and even a lifetime. When intimacy and sensuality are the goals, it changes the way one views sex and changes their lives. A6. If you remember the movie "Cocoon" you'll begin to understand why and how "Intimacy" is soooooo important. When we are out of the house, on the street and see two elderly people walking and holding hands, we are witnessing "Intimacy" in its purest form. That is the state when two people just enjoy being together and perhaps touching, talking and being close. Those are the people who will have sex for hours, days and years, because the sex and sensuality does not end with an Orgasm. A7. I found that despite my efforts, I could not indulge in Cyber Sex without it affecting my goals in bed... The Intimacy, the sensuality and all the pleasing that I enjoy so much. My goal in bed and throughout a relationship is to be pleasing to both my partner and myself. I found that Cyber Sex refocused my attention and goals on simply having a singular orgasm and I found myself loosing my intimacy and sensuality. So, Cyber had to go... A8. Now, it is not for me to say that my view is totally correct for everyone. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who enjoy a quickie, from time to time. I do but it can become a pain for one or the other if there is too much of anything... Variety is nice and any adventure is still an adventure and I love an adventure :) ...More to come..... |