Week 5

 

The Hooters and Headbutts continue to stay atop the division while two playoff teams from last year (Ned the Dog, Benchwarmers) and the Warriors hold down the bottom of the division. With their second Weekly Pot, the Headbutts also grabbed a little cushion for the Money Cup, leading the Glazed Donuts by 12 points. Commish’s Corner: Good news for Matt Ryan-he became the 1^st rookie QB to win in Lambeau Field since 1999. The bad news: the last guy to do it is Cade McCown…Why would the Vikings continue to kick to Reggie Bush on Monday night?... Here are the highlights from Week 5:

 

Headbutts 39, Geeks on Call 24:  Eli “Grape Nehi” Manning scored 8 points to help the Headnutts easily cruise past the Freaks on Call to remain in first place and win their second weekly pot. “Saving Private” Ryan Longwell led the Freaks with 12 points.

 

Hooters 38, Ned the Dog 37:  Up 31-26 going into Monday night, Ned got a quick six points from the Vikings defense to take an 11 point lead. But in the 2^nd half, Reggie Bush “League” scored 12 points on punt returns as the Cooters get a thrilling come-from-behind victory to remain in a tie for first place with his baby brother. The Mammary Glands have already surpassed last year’s total for wins. Meanwhile, the Dogs left a healthy “Big” Ben Roethlisberger and his 12 points on the bench.

 

Glazed Donuts 33, Benchwarmers 15: Tony “the Tiger” Romeo and Brandon Jacobs “ladder” both scored 12 points as the Blazing Donuts did not even give the Bench warmers a place to sit to win their third straight game. The Dognuts now have won five out of the last six games against the Commish.

 

Flounders 38, Woglom’s Warriors 32: Down 38-28 going into Monday night, Drew “Cool” Brees could only manage four points and the Flat Fish hung on to hook the Warriors and snap a two game losing streak. Coach Woglom is now riding a career high four game losing slide and left 43 points on the bench, including 18 points by “Michael” DeAngelo Williams.

 

Hell’s Angelas 34, Hoochie Mommy 21:In the battle of the Biddison House, Larry “Very Scary” Fitzgerald scored 12 points and Matt “Moon Crater” Prater added another 10 points to help the Angels accessorize the Smoochies.  

 

Bye this Week:  Buffalo, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Tennessee

 

Career Owners Records in First Five Weeks

Rich Murphy             41-24      .631

Dave Smith                 55-40     .579

J.T. Biddison              43-37     .538

Rose Foley                 16-14     .533

Jeff Smith                   47-43     .522

Mike Smith                 45-45     .500

Bill Seaver                  45-50     .474    

Pat Smith                    40-50     .444

George Woglom          3-7       .300

Pete Larsen                29-51     .293