Week 4

 

       Two teams that were at the bottom of the standings last year, the Hooters and Hoochie Mommy, are now tied with the Headbutts for first place at the one quarter mark of the season. The league set a SFFL record this week for most transactions in one week: 13 transactions by eight of the ten teams. Commish’s Corner: The Houston Oilers or Tennessee Titans have never started 4-0…St. Louis Rams scored points in the 1^st quarter. Sadly, that’s big news…Jerry Porter showed up for work in Jacksonville. That’s news…Trent Green actually finished a game conscious…Denver kicker Matt Prater drilled a 51 and a 56 yard field goal. Jason who?...Here are the highlights from Week 4:

 

Hooters 34, Hell’s Angelas 29:  With the Hooters leading 26-25 going into Sunday night, Donovan “Gift of Gab” McNabb scored four points early in the game for the Purgatory, but David “Green” Akers finished the game with eight points and the Juggs burned the Hell’s Angels for their 3^rd straight victory. The Hooters have already matched their total wins from last year and snapped a five-game losing streak against Coach Biddison.

 

Glazed Donuts 42, Ned the Dog 22: Josh Scobee “Doo” and newly acquired Chris “ECU” Johnson both scored 12 points. After a five game losing streak to Coach Larsen between 2003 - 2005, the Donuts have reeled off four straight victories.

 

Hoochie Mommy 62, Flounders 28: Brett “Are you watching Green Bay?” Favre scored 24 points and Larry Johnson added another 12 points as the Smoochie’s baked the Flounders for their 3^rd straight victory. The 62 points scored tied the MILF’s career best (Ball & Chain in 1995).

Rose is now 6-2 against Chunky in her career.

 

Geeks on Call 63, Woglom’s Warriors 20: In the battle of Boyett Court, Laveranues “I Love Favre” Coles scored 18 points and Edgerrin “Jesse” James and LaDanian “I’m baack” Tomlinson both added 12 points as the Greeks massacred the Warriors. Coach Smith wins his first weekly pot, and just misses on his career high in points scored in a game (64 pts against the Headbutts in 2001). The 63 points did shatter Coach Woglom’s career high in points allowed in a game, previously held by the Glazed Donuts with 50 points last season. Drew “Not waived yet” Brees led the WW with 12 points.

 

Headbutts 58, Benchwarmers 28: Everyone in the Headbutts starting lineup scored and the Buttheads splintered the Bench Jockey’s to avenge last year’s Super Bowl loss. Greg “I still miss Favre”  Jennings and Rob “The Blob” Bironas led the Head with 12 points each. Baby brother broke a three-game losing streak against older brother.

 

Bye this Week: Cincinnati, Minnesota, Oakland, Philadelphia

 

How is your 1^st round pick doing after a month of football?

Geeks on Call                           LaDainian Tomlinson (SD)  24     Hooters                 Tom Brady (NE)             0

Hell’s Angelas               Adrian Peterson (Min)         18   Glazed Donuts       Tony Romo (Dal)         32

Flounders                     Randy Moss (NE)                6    Ned the Dog        Steven Jackson (StL)      6

Woglom’s Warriors        Maurice Jones-Drew(Jac)   12    Headbutts              Terrell Owens (Dal)       24

Hoochie Mommy           Joseph Addai (Ind)              18  Benchwarmers      Marion Barber (Dal)       30