Spirit Journey
By ABs and Donna

Since the night at the hotel, Buck was a frequent “guest” at the Singing Creek Camp. But of course, there came a night when Shiloh said he could not stay. She just would not risk a pregnancy, no matter how much she liked him.Buck had the bunkhouse to go to, of course, but he would rather stay with her, and all the guys knew where he spent most of his nights, and might tease him if he went there.

As he came out of her teepee, carrying his pack with him, Coltec looked up from the medical herbs he was sorting and preparing for storage. "Are you making a run"; he asked. That had been about the only time Buck had left Shiloh's side. “No such luck,” said the young Brave. “She thinks she might be . . . fertile,” he said with a blush. “Can’t chance having me around because she *won’t* chance a baby made by two half breeds!”

Coltec raised an eyebrow. "Now why would that be a problem?" he asked. "Never mind. I think I know. I'll have a talk with her if you like. Why don't you go over to the cabin where Trapper is staying? Wolf is helping him build a little barn.”

“Thanks, but I really should check in at the bunkhouse.  Maybe Teaspoon will send me up to Esperanza for a few days.”

"I wouldn't stray too far," Coltec chuckled as he carefully wrapped a special mushroom that he had found and dried.

“Oh?”  Buck looked a little more hopeful.  “Well, if anyone can convince her, you can, Hoyoka.  She reveres your words.  Not mine.”

"You are the first man who has ever touched her in love, Buck Cross. In the end, that will make you more special to her than any old, forgetful medicine man. Now go. Come back in the morning. If all goes well, she will not ask you to leave again."

Buck nodded, happier inside than he had ever been.  It would be worth taking some ribbing from the guys over this, if he got her – all of her – in the end.  As Buck rode off, Coltec made a few preparations, then went to Shiloh's teepee and scratched on the door flap before entering. "Shiloh, would you mind assisting me in something I would like to do tonight since you are alone?"

“Of course, Hoyoka!” she said reverently.  “I am always at your service.  What is it you need of me?” she asked, clearly ready to deny him nothing.

"I need for you to cleanse yourself in the hot springs, top to bottom, then wear the white doeskin dress that you made. When you are ready, come into my teepee."

“Yes Hoyoka!”  Although what he might ask her to do could be sexual, she had not made the slightest complaint.  Clearly it was not that she did not want to get pregnant, then.  It was the choice of father. This would have to be rectified.

As she gathered the homemade soap she had made, and a sweet smelling cleansing liquid for her hair, Shiloh ran to the hot springs. Coltec watched her go, then disappeared into his teepee to make sure everything was ready.  She returned fairly quickly, not having dawdled in the springs in case he should become angry at being made to wait, and then she ducked into her teepee to dress.  The white doeskin dress was lovely, with shells decorating the bodice so she made a pleasant noise when she walked.  She had a matching pair of high-topped boots, also trimmed with shells, and a white doeskin thong for her braid, which had both shells and feathers.

As she walked towards his teepee, she was pleased with the tinkling sounds of the tin cones rubbing against the shells that were fastened on alternate fringes falling over her lower leg. It was the most beautiful dress she had ever owned, and she was very proud of it!  Coming up to Coltec, she bowed respectfully and said, “I am ready for you, Hoyoka.  Tell me your desire.”

He looked up from the furs he was sitting on and smiled. "You are a very lovely maiden, do you realize that?" he said as he motioned for her to sit by him on a white fur. Her looks had been more of a curse than a joy to her, but she nodded to him and said, “I am honored you think so, Hoyoka.”

Once she was in place, he started to chant, waving his hands through the smoke rising from the small fire in the middle of his teepee, sending the tendrils of it over and around Shiloh's body. After a moment, he stopped and picked up a cup of steaming hot tea. "Here. Drink this all down," he said with a soft smile.

She nodded without hesitation, taking the cup. Stranger things than this had been done to her as foreplay; she was not going to refuse him anything.  Though, to be honest, she had not always liked the things men had asked her to drink!  They tended to make one see strange things and wake up with a headache.

This tea tasted of strong herbs and raspberries, with just a tinge of honey to sweeten it. It was quite good! A lot better than the white man's whiskey, that was for sure. By the time she had finished the cup, she was feeling a little odd, like she was watching everything that went on from a far away distance, a distance that seemed to be growing steadily. "Don't be afraid," Coltec reassured her. And when she turned, she saw him by her side, dressed in an outfit of gleaming white buckskin that seemed to shine in the misty fog that was now surrounding them. "I'm going to take you on a very special journey."

“I am not afraid,” she said, though she wondered if he knew she was lying.

The fog seemed to clear a little, and they were now in a flower filled meadow with tall, majestic mountain peaks all around them. A feeling of deep peace and calm seemed to overcome her. Coltec chuckled. "This, little one, is what our people have long termed the *happy hunting grounds*."

Her eyes were wide as she looked around.  Inside she was wondering, “Will I ever go back?” but at the same time she was completely at ease with it, and quite prepared to stay if he asked her to.  The only regret she had was that Buck was not there with her.

"Do not worry," he said. "It is not your time yet. I brought you here so that you could finally know in your heart that the spirits consider you just as much one of us as any one that is full blood." In response, a soft chorus seemed to echo off the mountains, and as a warm feeling seemed to wash over her entire body, she indeed knew she was not only accepted, but also loved as a very important part of an immense family.

“Then I am worthy?” she said.  “I am honored, Hoyoka!”

She fell to her knees at his feet, clearly thinking she was somehow “okay’d” to have a child of a full-blooded Indian Brave! Coltec chuckled. "You are looking in the wrong direction, little one. Don't look at me, look over there!" When she turned to see what he was pointing at, she saw some ancient women bouncing some of the most beautiful babies she had ever seen on their knees. "Those can be your children," Coltec whispered in her ear. "Now tell me, are they full Indian, three quarters, or half like yourself? Can you tell just by looking at them?"

She lowered her eyes.  “If they are mine, they can never be full.  Which is why I have never wanted . . . I have been lucky that I have not bred before.”

“I would say unlucky,” Coltec noted.  “Your young are beautiful.  Look on them!”

“But they will never be all one thing. If the father be white, they will still be part red.  If the father red . . .”

“Then accept yourself, child.  There is no shame in it, or you would not belong here.  Or they would not belong.”  He laughed again and hugged her. "These are the children you and Buck could have together. Are they not lovely? And are they not already dearly loved by the old ones of this place?"

She looked up again.  There were several babies there, but the largest, a boy, was an inquisitive and lovely child who was constantly making the old ones smile and clap their hands.  He brought them frogs, and feathers from birds, climbing up on this lap, or that, to explain the treasures he had found.  Shiloh loved him immediately.  “That is our son?”

"Yes," Coltec said. "A son that you and Buck may bring to life if you would only allow it." The nut brown little boy was clad only in a loincloth and moccasins, and his long black hair was done up in braids. Looking at him, she would have never been able to tell he had white blood in him.  And yet he also had signs of both tribes in him; she could see that with no trouble.

Perhaps it was a mother’s eye.  Still, what she saw, she liked.  He was a perfect blending of the two *Indian* parts of she and Buck. “A combination of both tribes,” she said softly.

"Same, but different.  A Blackfooted Kiowa!”

Coltec laughed. "Both tribes came from the same place, you know. A place now called Montana. I have spent many a pleasant season there."

“Yes!  Buck and I said that, when we met.  His tribe moved long before he was born, but their origins were reportedly in the same area as my own!”

As the little boy laid his head again one woman's breasts, Shiloh felt an odd stirring inside of her. She wanted to run to him, to take him in her arms, but the mists were started to form again. "It's time to return," Coltec's voice called out of the mists. But there was also another voice, calling from far away, and she seemed drawn to it.

“Shi?  Are you okay?  Sorry I came back but the Hoyoka said . . .”  Shiloh opened her eyes and saw the beloved face of her lover.  The father of that darling boy.  At least, he would be, if she let him be! Smiling up at him, she put her arms around his neck and hugged him to her tightly.  Buck was startled, but at the taste of her kisses he relaxed into her arms, and from that moment they never looked back.

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