Repentance

By Donna

Hope slipped into the darkness of the Mission Church. A few candles were flickering along the walls, providing the only light. She walked up to the altar, her face throbbing where he had hit her. How stupid she had been! Her sister Grace had tried to warn her that her flirtatious ways could someday get her into trouble, but she had always just brushed her off. 

All her life she had had high hopes and ambitions. She had always been the social butterfly of the family, craving the excitement of the royal court and the goings on in London. Her parish priest back home had chided her more than once for her vanity and focus on worldly things such as riches and high social standing, telling her that they would lead her down a path of destruction if she wasn’t careful. She had ignored him as well.  Dropping to her knees, she buried her aching face in her hands, letting the tears come again. They had all been right! She had been acting like a spoiled, irresponsible child. Hope didn’t blame Lovelace at all. After all, he was a gentleman. She must had somehow given him the impression she was *that* sort of woman. It was her fault. All hers! That’s what she got for acting like a giddy little trollop instead of a respectable lady!  

As she sobbed broken-heartedly at the altar, asking God for forgiveness for her sinful, frivolous ways and for His help in changing them for the better, Hope did not hear the door to the church open. Father Ralph had been sitting on the front porch of the rectory, enjoying the night air when he had seen Hope go into the church, bonnet in her hand and a dejected set to her shoulders. Worried, he had risen from the comfortable rocker he had been sitting in and had followed her into the mission.  

Pausing at the back of the church, Father Ralph studied her for a moment. Hope’s hair was disheveled, and she only had one glove on. That in itself was unusual. The girl was always fastidious about her appearance, never going out in public without her hair done up just so, and wearing all the proper accessories to her outfit.  Something was definitely wrong!  

Making his way to the altar with his long strides, Father Ralph gently put his hand on her shoulder and spoke her name. Hope gasped and scrambled away from him in surprise, fear written all over her sweet face.  

"Hope!" he called out, reaching out to her as she tripped over her long skirts and fell to the floor. "It’s me! Father Ralph! Don’t be afraid."  

She sobbed and hid her bruised face from him. "Go awa’ from me, Father," she cried. "I’m no fit to be seen by anyone!"  

The priest gathered her into his arms. "Shush, child, I’m not going anywhere. Here, let me look at you," he said as he gently lifted her hand away from her cheek. Even in the darkness of the candlelit church, he could see the beginning of a dark bruise. His eyes hardened for a moment. "Did *HE* do this to you?"  He had never liked the way Lovelace had looked at her, but there had been nothing he could do about it.  Even though Hope looked almost identical to his Meggie, he didn’t have the close friendship with her that he had with the other woman to be able to convince her she was playing with fire with that man.  

Hope covered her face in shame and started to weep again. "Oh Father Ralph! It was so awful! One moment he was so kind and gentlemanly, the next he had me trapped against a tree and was kissing and touching me! I was so frightened!"  

Ralph’s jaw tightened in his effort to maintain control. "It’s going to be all right, little one," he said softly as he rocked her in his arms, letting her cry it out. "I won’t let him hurt you again.  Did he…," he asked, swallowing hard, "did he take you against your will? Do you want me to take you to the clinic? We can send someone for Sarah Jo or your sisters, if you like."  

She shook her head, her tears soaking into the shirt he was wearing. "Nay, Father, he dinna do anything to hurt me other than slapping my face after I scratched his. Oh, I feel so horrible! I was so stupid! I though it was so much fun to … to flirt and act the coquette with men like him. I never thought…" she couldn’t go on.   

Father Ralph just continued to hold her, making little soothing noises. "No child, you aren’t stupid. What you were doing is often considered normal behavior for a young teenaged girl learning to how to act with members of the opposite sex. It’s all part of the growing up process. Most men think it is amusing. But there are others who are predators…, like the one that has frightened you so."  

Father Ralph helped her into the first pew, and then holding her tiny hands in his, gave her consolation, trying to convince her that even though she might have acted a little foolish, she was not at fault. Hope didn’t seem too convinced of that, but at least she had stopped crying and was starting to calm down. After praying with her, Ralph stood up and gently lifted her to her feet. "Come, my child. Let’s go over to the rectory and put a cold pack on your cheek. I’ll have one of the other Fathers go tell your sisters where you are so they won’t worry.” Putting his arm around her, he steered her out of the church and to the rectory.  

The other priests were in the study, discussing the next day’s activities over tea and a plate of cookies that Grace had brought over earlier that day. As  Ralph brought the disheveled looking Hope in, they all stood up, questioning looks on their faces.  “She’s had a bad scare,” Ralph said, answering their unspoken questions as he eased the shaken girl down onto the sofa. “Philip, would you go tell her sisters that she is over here? I don’t want them to worry. Jose, could you wet some rags for a compress?”   

“I’ll get her a cup of hot tea,” Alec said, and for the moment, Hope was left alone in the study with Ralph. 

“I hate to be such a bother,” she said as she fumbled with her one remaining glove. “Oh fiddlesticks! My glove is gone! It was my very best pair too!” She looked up at Ralph and tried to smile. “See how terribly vain I am, Father? Here I almost had something horrible happen to me, and all I’m concerned about is how I look!” 

Ralph chucked as he tilted her chin up, examining her face. “Oh, I understand, my dear. Trust me on that. You see, I’m rather vain myself!” 

“Amen to than,” Alec said as he came back in the room with a hot cup of tea. “Never seen a fellow priest as fussy as he is about his appearance. Here you are, Hope, lots of cream and sweetening, just the way you like it.”

Father Alec's comment made Hope smile a little bit. She had always secretly admired the way that Father Ralph looked. The first time she had seen him in riding britches and crisply ironed shirt she had done a double take. But he was a priest! And it wasn’t good for her to think of him as anything else, so she had pushed those thoughts aside. Anywise, the pompous Lovelace had seemed to her a much better person to focus on. 

Herrera was right behind him with a wet compress. Ralph took it from him, and after dabbing away the little bit of blood from where the skin on her lip had been broken, he then very gently held the compress against her cheek. “You might have a bit of a black eye develop,” he told her. “But it will fade away fairly quickly.” 

“I’ll just consider it a very small prize to pay for my foolishness,” Hope said with a shake of her head. “And I shan’t even try to hide it! That’s what I get for being so full of myself. Pride goeth before a fall, after all!” 

Ralph just smiled, his eyes twinkling with pleasure at seeing her take a very positive step in the growing up process. It wouldn’t be easy for her to change her rather frivolous attitude, but what happened had been a good wake up call for her. Now that her eyes were opened to what could happen to her, he was sure they would all see a change for the better in Hope MacDonald!