Helm’s Need

by Donna and Abs

Sarah Jo was keeping busy between her duties at the clinic and making sure that Katherine was behaving now that she was home in her own bed. She was feeling better, and so it was getting hard to keep her confined.

After the third day, Sarah Jo told the doctors that there had been no spotting at all for the last 24 hours, something that made them all happy.

Robert Helm, who had been feeling increasingly frustrated during the previous few days, found himself smiling, and he said, "Well that's good news. Would you care to come with me tonight to the Cantina?"

Sarah Jo was surprised at the completely unexpected offer, but agreed. "I would love to go, Dr Helm," she said with a grin. Later that evening, he picked her up at the house, sticking his head in to see Katherine first. She was laying in bed like a good girl, her jungle man cradling her against his chest, brushing her hair.

"Have fun, kiddos," Kat said, nodding with approval at how nice Sarah Jo looked in the spring dress she was wearing.

Helm needed this. After coming back to town to find Jacinda in Adam Pierson's bed, he'd had to give up any hope of wooing her himself. Not that he was having serious thoughts about Sarah Jo; she was available, pretty, and respectable. And that's what he needed now. Something to get his mind off his unreasonable attraction.

They had a good time, too. He found out that Sarah Jo had a marvelous sense of humor, and was a lot of fun to be with. After a leisurely dinner, he walked her back to her house. As they paused on the front door step, they could see a light on in Katherine's room, and the sound of her flute and Clayton's panpipes were heard through the open window.

"They're very happy," he said wistfully.

"Yes," Sarah Jo said with a smile. "Connor and Johnny hardly leave her side. One or both of them are usually right there." Standing up on her tiptoes, she gave Helm a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for the dinner. I really enjoyed being out with you."

"And I you," he said. He smiled tenderly at her, but they both knew there would not be more than friendship there. More's the pity, Helm thought. Then again, Doc Adams seemed genuinely smitten with the young nurse, and he would do well not to cross the older doctor. He opened the door for her, and then after standing there for a moment more enjoying the music coming from upstairs, he turned to leave. It had been a pleasant evening, but it hadn't taken care of his problem.

He walked back toward the middle of the street, where he could see the moon. There was just a sliver of it left, and he was unreasonably happy to see it. For some strange reason, he equated Bambi with the moon; although not a shape shifter, she lived among them, and the moon equaled Esperanza in his eyes. If there had been no moon, he would have felt deprived in some way. He could not explain it.

Dinner with Sarah Jo had been more than pleasant. It had been exactly what he had thought he'd wanted.

Respectability. But was that what gave him pleasure? No.

Sighing, he headed toward the stables.

***

Candi was working as usual, but it was Bambi's night off. The three men had decided it would be best for the girls to have a little time to themselves on occasion, so they each were given different nights that they could stay home or whatever they chose to do. Tonight, Candi was dressed in a dance hall girl outfit that attracted a lot of attention from the few men that were in the club, but all in all, it was a slow night.

Just then it got interesting, as Dr. Robert Helm walked through the door. What was he doing there? Candi wondered. Seeing her, he lowered his eyes, as if ashamed, but then forced himself to come toward her.

"Hiya, Doc," she said pleasantly. "Good to see you again. Bambi told me you treated her really nice. That was sweet of you." She patted him on his cheek, grinning at him. "Can I get you a drink or anything? Bambi is home with Kagan right now, I'm afraid."

Helm flushed when she said, "treated her really nice". Pushing his disappointment over not seeing her out of his mind, he said, "I acted quite horribly toward you when I was here the last time. It was not you, I promise."

"I know that," she said, lightly running her finger down his chest. "Grayson shouldn't have offered my services that way. Don't worry, I'm not upset. I understand."

He gulped, already uncomfortable. "It was not you," he repeated, knowing he sounded stupid. "I have paid for it before and I . . . do not find your profession repulsive at all."

"Glad to hear that, Doc," she giggled. "Look, nothing is going on around here really. Most of the guys here are involved in some big poker game and not interested in me right now. Shall we head to the kitchen and round up some snacks? I'm hungry."

Relaxing slightly, Helm nodded. "Yes, yes of course." He didn't know what he wanted, but it wasn't just sex for sex's sake. As they headed for the kitchen he had the sinking suspicion that what he wanted was to talk about his predicament.

As Candi rounded up an assortment of food for them, she chatted with the doctor. She was a sexy little thing, especially dressed the way she was, but right now, she seemed content just to be companionable. It was almost as if she sensed that was what he really needed. Someone who he could talk with, no holds barred. Helm smiled, remembering one lady of the night he had frequented more than once. She hadn't been all that pretty, but she had never been in a hurry to kick him out afterwards. He would lay in bed with her for hours, just talking with her about anything and everything.

Of course, that had been a long time ago - in his youthful days in the army. He tried not to remember those days much, but perhaps he was healthiest, emotionally, when he was with her. He had a tendency to keep things inside. Finally, he said casually, "Do you think Bambi is suited to the Life?"

Candi shrugged. "She could do better," she admitted. "She's a smart kid. And educated, too. I have trouble reading even kid's books, but she wades through those huge books that the vamps have laying around without any problem at all." Growing up on the street, she had never really had any schooling. She had learned to read on her own, sneaking into the library during the day, hiding out in the children's book section.

"That's what I thought. But she seems content. I do not understand that. Carmelita . . . she was from Santa Elena and I know she has no problem with the work. You seem suited to it, if you don't mind me saying so, and I know if this place was busier tonight I would never have gotten a minute of your time without paying for it. I've seen too many women of your profession not to know who would be popular. Bambi just doesn't seem to fit."

"She is doing the best she can," Candi said, offering Helm a strawberry dipped in whipped cream. "If there was a way I could help her get out of the business, I would. Me, I don't know any other life."

"I am just concerned for your health," he said honestly. "I do not like this sterility aspect of that drug - of course, I do not like the drug at all, but you know what I mean."

Candi shrugged. "I didn't either, but I'm a realist about things like this. Not being able to get pregnant is a not a bad thing for me." She frowned slightly. Her own mother had been a prostitute, and had died when she was young of a drug overdose, leaving Candi to fend for herself on the streets.

"It's unnatural, though. We can't tell what other harm it might have caused." He stepped closer. "I can't help it. I'm a doctor," he grinned.

"A good one too," Candi said appreciatively. "Most of the Docs I've known wouldn't dirty their hands treating one of us girls. Or care if anything happened to us." She leaned in, giving him a kiss on his cheek, not unlike the one that Sarah Jo had given him earlier that night.

He flushed. "Let's just say I've seen a bit more of life than most doctors. Most," he grinned, thinking of Adams, "but not all."

"Tell me some of the things you have seen, and the places you have been," she said, hunger in her eyes. Living the way she had, the pictures of faraway exotic places she had seen in the library books had been her only escape from the horrors of her everyday life. "Grayson has told me a little, but he's usually too busy to just sit and talk like this."

"Grayson is very old," Helm agreed. "The only things I have seen are blood and death. First in the army, and then as a doctor." He shook his head. "At least now I am saving life, not trying to take it."

"That's a good thing," Candi said solemnly. As they ate, Helm found that the girl was surprisingly easy to talk to. She was like that other woman he had spent time with. When she listened to someone, she gave it her whole attention. And from the way she was very carefully not repeating anyone's words, she was apparently not one to spread what she heard around.

Finally he asked, a bit nervously, "What else did Bambi say about me?" He seemed like a small boy when he said it.

"She likes you," Candi said with a sparkle in her eyes. "I do too for that matter." She could see that Helm was smitten with her co-worker. That had been one of the reasons she had not come on to him that strongly.

"Thank you." He didn't know what to say to that. But he'd been ridiculously happy that the small slip of a girl liked him. What a fool he was. He wondered if it showed on his face.

But thankfully, Candi didn't ridicule him for it. "If you like, I can arrange for her to come to your room. Kagan is leaving around dawn on one of his hunting trips, so she will be all alone." The last time he had gone out, he had found a couple of girls that Consone had sold to the other side of the river. Candi shuddered slightly, not wanting to think of their fate in the hands of the Sadaam men.

Helm did not know what she meant by hunting - he assumed he meant wild animals. Fortunately he did not ask, because he would only have been compelled to do something to stop the practice of selling women! "She would come? Willingly? It is not that I cannot pay for her visit, it just seems to . . . cheapen it in some way." He bit his lip. "No offense, of course. Just that it could not be more than a business transaction then."

Once more Candi shrugged her shoulders. "No offense taken. We aren't slaves here. Once we have done our time here in the club, we are free to do whatever we like. And that includes sleeping with someone, just because we want to."

He looked hopeful, and reached out to kiss her full on the mouth. "Thank you so much," he said impulsively, "you've been more than helpful! I suppose I should get a room for the night, then?"

"Good idea," she said. "Bambi's a lucky girl. I wish I lit up a guy's eyes like she does yours. I'll send her to you just as soon as Kagan's butt is out the door." She smiled. It felt good to help those two get together. She was sincerely delighted for Bambi. With her low self worth, Candi didn't really think that anyone would think of her as being more than just someone to have a moment of pleasure with.

He took her hands. "You'll find someone. Maybe if you got away from here." He shook his head. "Sorry. I guess I can't help giving advice where it isn't requested. Perhaps he'll walk through the door. Like I did."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, I'll survive," Candi said honestly. "Now go get your room. It will be dawn before you know it."