Doc's Sacrifice

by Donna and Abs

After Father Philip left, Duncan got Sarah Jo to eat a little of the soup and the bread that Lupe had sent over before they went back upstairs. She went into the bathroom and changed for bed, coming out in a floor length flannel nightgown. She and Duncan sat on the floor and admired the kittens for awhile, and then Sarah Jo went to bed. Duncan had asked her if she wanted to be alone, but she had said she couldn't bear that. So, after she crawled under the covers, Duncan undressed and followed her. She was tired, and drifted off to sleep fairly quickly, but her rest was broken several times during the night by bad dreams. Each time they happened, Duncan just held her close, soothing her with gentle words and caresses.

They were still in bed the next morning when Doc Adams opened the door and peeked inside the bedroom.

"Any one home?" he asked, knowing he was not waking them any more with his voice than he had with his very "presence".

Duncan raised his head but Sarah Jo just moaned softly, moving under the covers until just the top of her strawberry blonde hair could be seen. "Look what the cat drug in," Duncan mumbled. Patches jumped out of her box to go greet Doc, rubbing against his legs and begging to be picked up.

He lifted the cat and smiled.  "Well, the cat seems to be the only one speaking to me, metaphorically anyway, so perhaps she did drag me in?"

"Probably just wants to be fed," Duncan chuckled. "Everything all right?" He didn't know why, but Doc seemed more relaxed now, and not so unhappy about the situation.

"Not everything, but one half of it."  Doc put the cat down and came over.  "How is she?" he asked.

"She had a bad time right after we got home," Duncan admitted, "but Father Philip was here, and talked things out with her. She seemed.... well not happier so to speak, but at least she stopped beating herself up thinking it was somehow her fault. During the night there were a few nightmares, but otherwise, she slept fairly well considering." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head, the only part showing.

"Good, because I have a matter I'd like to discuss with you.  Both of you, but you first, if she continues to ignore me."  He chuckled softly and added, "Of course, she could really be sleeping under those covers, but I tend to doubt it." A fake snore resounded from underneath the covers, making both men laugh.

"I shall begin with an announcement," said Doc.  "Prudence MacInnes is pregnant, and I might be the father."

The covers immediately flipped back and a surprised looking Sarah Jo peeked out. "You've been a busy boy, haven't you?" she said with a sad smile. "I'm glad for both of you though."

"Then again," he added, "I might not be.  It might be Clay's . . .  or . . ."  His eyes were hard now, the joy fading quickly as he spoke slowly.

"As long as there are people who will love and care for the child, what does it matter who the father is?" Sarah Jo said, reaching out for his hand. "Kat took me in when I was just a toddler, but I don't think anyone could have loved and cared for me as a child like she did."

"Even if it is Marcus Grisham?" he said bitterly.

Her face paled. "Even if it is. What is important is the child, not who started it." Tears started to trickle down her cheeks again. "At least she will have a child to hold when all her days are accomplished."

"But I was not sure," Doc said, his voice soft.  "She spotted - it was probably nothing, but I had to be sure.  And now that I am, and Clay and I are both taking responsibility for it . . ."  He paused, his brow creasing.  "I need not tell you to keep Grisham's name out of this, or to say that Prudence was no more willing than you were?"

Sarah Jo clutched the sheets to her breast. "I will never understand why he did it," she sobbed, "even if I live to be as old as you, Ben." She rubbed her eyes, and them pushed Duncan aside. "Let me up. I gotta go pee."

Doc nodded and watched her go.  "Duncan," he said when she was out of the room, "I want you and Sarah Jo to try for another child, as soon as she is healed."

Duncan's jaw dropped. "What? Why not both of us?"

He took a seat.  "I am by no means sure that Prudence is having my child.  More than likely it is Clay's - I won't even entertain any other option.  But we have been given a new world here, and although we're far from ruining it yet, we have got to stop running willy nilly into parenthood the way we have been going."

"Doc, I haven't a clue as to what you are going on about," Duncan sighed. "But it will have to be Sarah Jo's decision, not ours. Who knows, she may not want anyone to ever touch her that way again. Not that any of us could blame her!"

"She will get over that in time.  Look at Katherine."  He made a face and said, "I believe Sarah Jo wanted that baby.  She seemed to be against the idea when we first made love, but if you notice, she was very upset about the miscarriage - even after saying she did not want children.  I think she warmed to the idea after the fact."

While they were talking Sarah Jo came back into the room, overhearing the last part. From her red eyes, she had apparently she had a good cry while she was alone. But for now, she was putting on a brave face. "Every child is a gift from God, Ben," she said in a voice made hoarse from weeping. "He chose to give me one, even though I didn't think I was ready. But when I realized that I was late for my monthly, I was happy. So very happy..." Her chin started to quiver again.

"You can try again.  I just . . . I must ask that you try with Duncan."  He saw her eyes well up with new tears and he reached out to hold her.  "Please let me explain," he said quickly, and she and Duncan both knew there was something more than a Dear Sarah story in his words.

When she had heard that Pru was expecting a child that could be Doc's, Sarah Jo's first thought was that she had lost him to another woman. Especially since there would now be no child of her own. "Please do," she said, struggling to control her runaway emotions. “Don’t you want a child with me?”

"As I was trying to say before," he said a little more sharply than he should have, "we have been given a new world.  We need to populate that new world.  So, we as doctors should encourage women to get pregnant . . . but to pay close attention to who the father of the child may be!  Look at what we've done recently!  Katherine's child may be yours, Duncan, or it might be Methos'.  Prudence's might be me, or Mosby, or . . ."  He let that drift off, unsaid.  "If our children are to populate Edan, they must know their siblings."

"Yes," Sarah Jo said. She had grown up in a sparsely populated area where extended families intermarried frequently, and she was well aware of the problems resulting from that practice.  "What you are saying makes sense," she said. She wasn't happy about it, but she had to admit it was logical.

"The child you lost might have been mine, or it might have been Duncan's.  This  . . . trend  . . . is worrisome but we've also noticed that many of the children on the way have been fathered by men who share my genetic make up.  And there are likely to be more, since there are more who look like me than look like you, MacLeod.  I am asking you, Sarah, to keep this in mind when you are able once again to try for a child.  As much as I want one I can call my own - and know completely that it is mine - one more 'Methos' child at this time is just being selfish.  And that kind of selfishness now can jeopardize our growth later."

"If I have a child by Duncan," Sarah Jo said firmly, "I will insist on having yours as soon as possible afterwards."

He took her hand.  "I should like that very much," he smiled as he kissed it.  "And once we're sure the seed has taken, I expect to see you as before?  I do not think I could accept giving you over completely."  His smile widened.  "Shepherd said the women should have as many partners as possible, to vary the 'gene pool'."

She snorted and shook her head. "He would! How much you want to bet that after I have your child, he will try to talk me into having a child fathered by one of the men that looks like Connor?" Duncan looked scandalized for a moment, and then laughed.

"Go for it," said Doc.  "As long as I can still see you."  He smiled.  "Does it bother you that I also see Prudence?"

"I had a feeling you were seeing someone else," she said, her eyes misting. "I expect you two to share me, so I guess turn about is fair play. But..., but I would appreciate it if you tell me the next time. I would rather hear it from you than from someone else."

Doc nodded, and said, "Fair enough.  I found her after Grisham abused her.  Unlike you, she had no other experience.  I feared she'd think that was how it was done."

"I'm glad she had you there then to show her otherwise," Sarah Jo said truthfully. She gave them both a hug. "And I'm glad I have you both to help me get through this."