Blessing or Penance?

By Donna and Toni

It was the morning after Philip had found out he would be the father of twins the first time he and Fiona made love; as he stared out the rectory window, he thought to himself, *My God, how could I have been so irresponsible as to go ducking my head into a faerie fountain like that? I should have known it was one of theirs, with magical properties, and now Fiona will be forced to bear the consequences. Maybe she wanted to be married awhile before she started a family! But now, thanks to me....* Realizing he was going to drive himself to distraction by keeping these feelings in, he decided, *I have to talk to someone about this....* Then suddenly, it came to him exactly who he might be able to unload his burden of guilt to. He finished getting dressed, and went to seek out the person, who he knew was in the church itself, setting out the candles for the day's services. 

When the Irish priest entered the quiet church, he saw Father Alec trimming the candles. The soft glow of their light reflected on the man's gentle face. It was hard to believe that someone had beaten him to death on the old world. He had never told Alec that as a result of him being a holy martyr, he was now being beatified as a candidate for sainthood. Having come to know the man very well since arriving on Edan, he hoped that one day it would come to pass back on Earth.  Alec looked up at the sound of Philip's footsteps and smiled. "Hello, my brother. Why such a long face?"  

He returned his smile - seeing his friend always cheered him up, no matter what - and told him, "Alec, there's...well, I've done somethin' that'll be carryin' a permanent set of consequences. And those consequences will affect Fiona more than m'self; it has to do with our weddin'. What I'm tryin' t'say is......do ya have a minute?" He looked genuinely worried as he finished his slightly confused sounding confession. 

"Of course," Alec said, tilting his head just a bit while he studied Philip's face. The two of them had had many talks already about the load of guilt that Philip hugged tightly to his very soul. It was very hard for him to let go of it! "Shall we go to the prayer chapel? Or would you rather go to the confessional?"  

The younger priest thought about it a minute, then said, "The prayer chapel; I need t'be able to see your face when I tell ya what I've done. It'll help me ground m'self." The two men proceeded to the chapel, and when both were seated comfortably, Philip told him, "Well....it was yesterday mornin', and the storm had just broke, and I wanted to go and make sure that Fiona was all right. So I went to her cottage, and I-", here he swallowed at the memory of how she'd looked, but stayed calm, "I saw her in her bed, safe and sound, and wearin' nothin' but a thin shift that left nothin' to the imagination, if ya get my meanin'. The sight caused me ta get aroused, but I went outside before anythin' could come of it. I saw this fountain near the cottage, and thought if I ducked my head inta th' cool water, it'd help me calm down a bit. So I did, and when it only seemed ta make things worse, I did it again. It was then I saw Endora; she told me it was her fountain, and since I'd ducked my head in it twice, the first woman I lay with would be, in her words, 'blest twice over'. I asked her if that meant th' first time Fiona and I made love, if she'd become pregnant with twins, and she said that was definitely what it meant. I went inside and told her, and she didn't seem upset about it or anythin', but....Alec, she's goin' ta get pregnant on our weddin' night, and it's all my fault! Maybe she wanted to wait awhile, I couldn't blame her for that; but now, she has no choice." He finished his story and sat there, looking so glum that Alec couldn't help but feel sorry for him. 

Alec sat there for a moment, hunting for the right words, the corners of his mouth twitching as he fought to keep from laughing. "Twins? My, my. This could be either a double blessing or a double penance. Hmmmm, hard to say which one it is right now, isn't it?" He lost the battle and started to chuckle. "Oh, Philip, what am I going to do with you now? You are being tested sorely in this area, aren't you?"  

Instead of getting upset at Alec's apparent amusement at his plight, he looked at him, startled, for a moment. Then, as if by magic, his friend's lighthearted approach seemed to lift the burden from him, at least enough for the corners of his mouth to turn up slightly. He looked down at the floor with just that little bit of a smile, and said, "Yeah, I do seem to be, don't I? When I told Fiona what Endora had said, do ya know she just smiled and said it was her Catholic duty? There are times I can't believe that woman, or my luck in gettin' her to consent to havin' me for a husband." 

"I will have a talk with her if you like, to see if she really is at ease with this situation,” Alec suggested. “She is typical of the women of your island nation, very serious about her *obligation and duty* to the church. But for Fiona, I think it goes beyond that. She has a deep love for children, and the loss of the ones in her care during the Troubles has left a deep hole of grief in her heart. Perhaps having two babes of her very own would begin the repair work that is sorely needed in her spirit."  

Philip's eyes widened, as he listened to the other priest. He looked at him in surprise and said, "Y'know, I never thought of it that way! I mean, I have no problem with it, I love children myself, but I didn't want to put pressure on her that she might not have been ready for just yet. I'd appreciate it greatly if ya could find out, Alec; and thank ya. Not only are ya our confessor, but you're a true friend." 

The two men rose to their feet and hugged each other. "Don't beat yourself up over this," Alec scolded Philip. "I will talk with Fiona after the service. In the meantime, go and pray, asking for strength to control your urges in other ways than dunking your head in magical faerie fountains!"  

Philip grinned. "I will. Ya know, the more things like this happen, the faster I wish th' time till our weddin' day would go by. Thanks again, Alec; I appreciate it more than I can say." And the young priest walked to the altar rail, to start his praying right there and then. 

His devotions helped to make his heart even lighter. As he crossed himself and rose to his feet once more, he felt a calm reassurance that all this was somehow going to a higher plan. Alec had chided him more than once about confessing his problems and guilt, and then instead of leaving them in the good Lord's hands, picking them up again like they were treasured belongings. As he faced the sanctuary, he saw his bride to be, kneeling beside Faith MacDonald, both of them the very picture of spiritual devotion.

Not wanting to disturb them, he quietly walked down a side aisle and sat in the back of the church; just watching her at that moment was enough for him. He felt a surge of pride and love that she would be his, forever; he whispered to himself, "Fiona Maire Anne Callahan," just to try it out and hear it spoken out loud for the first time - to him, anyway. He was sure he hadn't said it loud enough for either of the women to hear him, but he soon found out he was wrong. 

Fiona smiled softly underneath the veil she was wearing. She liked the sound of it. Faith exchanged glances with her, suppressing a giggle before they both returned to their prayers.   

After the service, Father Alec was waiting for Fiona at the door. He smiled at Fiona as she dipped her fingers in the holy water and made the sign of the cross on her forehead, then asked if he could speak to her for a moment. Leaving Philip to control his sudden nervousness while he greeted the rest of the congregation, Alec escorted Fiona into the little prayer room.

Once they were seated, he looked at Fiona for a long moment, gathering his thoughts. How best to go about this? For her part, Fiona seemed calm, waiting for him to begin. Finally, he sighed, then said, "Fiona, Philip came to me a little while ago and told me about his encounter with Endora's fountain. How do you feel about becoming a mother so soon after your marriage?" He watched her closely for her reaction. 

The bright smile on her face answered his question. "Me Aunt Bridget had twin girls. Weren't they the sweetest things? She called them God's double blessing, a gift to her after she miscarried four babies in a row before those darlings."  

The priest was glad to see that Philip's worry had been for nothing, as he'd suspected. "Your aunt was very blessed indeed, I agree. You and Philip are going to make fine parents; he told me only today that he wishes the time until your wedding would move faster, and that the thought of being a father makes him very happy indeed." Well, he had said he had no problem with it and that he loved children, so Alec was not lying! 

Her smile lit up the chapel even more than the candles. "Do we have to wait very much longer, Father? Aren't I trying to be patient? And me poor Philip is so driven to distraction he could have very easily made it triplets instead of twins!"  

The priest laughed. "Yes; I told him not to go dunking his head in any more fountains, at least for the time being." Then his voice got softer as he smiled, "Fiona...I think all he is waiting for is the word from you, as to your wedding day. If you are as anxious as he is about it, I would be happy to perform the ceremony any time you'd like." He hoped she wouldn't name a day too far off! His friend was, after all, only human! 

"Would tomorrow be too soon?" she asked timidly.  

Alec inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. "Of course not, my child; tomorrow would be just fine. Now, shall I be the one to tell your betrothed, or would you like the honors? I can stand by if you'd like to, ah, make sure he doesn't get *too* excited." His eyes twinkled with mischief. 

She laughed with him. "I will tell him. But won't we need to send for his friends? As soon as they get here, we can have the wedding."  

"I can ask one of the riders to go and deliver the message; I'd say within a couple of days we should be all set. Meanwhile, young lady, you have a few friends of your own to invite, unless I'm very mistaken. The kind with a very magical nature among them, I'm sure, would like to see you wed, and I'm sure there are plenty of others as well. While we're getting hold of those he wants to be there, you can be asking your side!" He looked even happier at the thought of a festive crowd there watching the two become husband and wife. 

He helped her to her feet and gave her a hug. "God bless you Fiona," he said softly as he made the sign of the cross on her for head. "Now go run and tell your intended the change in plans. I'll be right behind you."  

Philip's heart leapt with just a bit of nervousness as he saw the two emerge from the prayer chapel. Well, they were both smiling...in fact, she looked positively radiant. That was a good sign, right? Swallowing back his nerves, the Irish priest smiled, "Hello, love; did you and Father Alec have a nice chat?" He glanced at the other priest for some kind of indication as to how things had gone, but there was nothing revealed on the carefully schooled face. 

"We did," she chuckled. "Philip, if it is alright with you, I would like to get married as soon as possible. How long do ye think it would take yer friends to get here?"  

The happiness he felt at that question lit up his face visibly, as he told her, "Oh! Uh.....well, they'd probably pack a bag or two as soon as they get word, and set out right away, knowing them. Maybe two days from now?" He was of course allowing for the rider that would go to deliver the invitation. But inwardly, he hoped the man had a very fast horse! 

"Grand!" she laughed, leaning in for a hug. "Faith has me dress ready, and Sarah Jo said she would be after making the cake. Won't they be dancing all the night long after it?"  

He held her close, smiling slightly over her shoulder as he caught sight of Alec's "stern" face, itself holding back a smile; then he let her go enough to look at her and smiled softly, "Indeed they will, love. So you'd better tell them to make sure they're wearing their most comfortable shoes!" Feeling afloat with happiness, he leaned down and kissed her sweetly; he knew their "chaperone" wouldn't mind. After all, in an even shorter time than he'd previously thought, they were going to be man and wife!