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SUBJECT: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ((I THINK I ANNOYED HIM!))

Danny Ocean,

What is wrong with you? I have to instruct Fish to return
the boxes to Nigeria because I am not ready to bear any
consequence if the fund loses.

Note, I never knew you before,I only got your name in the
foreign contractors payment file,hence I contacted you.

I see that you ratther want to insult me,I have to return
the fund and cancele your payment since I see that you did
not want to receive the fund from Amsterdam.

I will not call Fish asking him to call you because we are
not begging you to receive your fund.If you want to receive
the fund,you better call Andy Fish and pay the money to
him.

Bye.
C.A.W
S.P

((TIME FOR THE LEAST SINCERE APOLOGY IN HISTORY))

Honourable President of the Senate

I do hope you didn't take my email the wrong way. I didn't intend any
disrespect at all*.

But let me remind you of a few points:

1) YOU contacted ME to remind me about some outstanding money that YOU
owed ME
2) Fine, I'll happily receive the money I am owed by YOU
3) I arranged to meet with your honourable partner FISH in Amsterdam
4) I even offered to pay for the best meal he'd ever have.
5) I even had my fees to pay him during that meal.
6) Did he turn up? No. Did he call to let me know that? No.
7) OK, I was annoyed. But I'm a businessman. I offered to meet him at
my hotel to pay him.
8) Did he turn up? no.

So, just to go over it one more time:

I HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY HIM AND HAVE OFFERED TO MEET HIM TWICE AND HE
HAS NOT TURNED UP EITHER TIME!!!!

How is that my fault.

I say "Here is the money, come take it." to which you reply "How dare
you insult me?"

What a frigging retard.

And before you say "OOOOhhhh I'll take the boxes home" just remember
that they contain my money. MY MONEY! Which you contacted me to pay
me. So why don't you send your little boy Fish round to my hotel AND HE
CAN HAVE THE FEES it is as simple as that. If you can't handle such a
simple business as this perhaps you ought to stick to raising cattle on
a farm somewhere: Monkey dey work, babon dey chop.

Danny Ocean

* PS, OK, I did.

Attn: Danny Ocean,

There is no trouble in your payment. I instructed Mr. Andy
Fish to return the fund in two boxes as some bad men who
make their ends through crucked means alway try to deprive
the fund if they discover the content of the boxes.

There is no trouble,I am ready to pay you the money Our
Government owes you.

I want you to send your bank account to me for us to pay
the money into your account.You should come down to Nigeria
to sign release order documents and HIPC and I will
transfer the fund to your account under 48 hours.

If you so wish,the necessary papers can be signed by an
Attorney of the Government on your behalf,if you cannot
come to Nigeria.

Your fund left Amsterdam this Morning due to we don't allow
fund to stay out side more than 4 days unless it is at
beneficiary's rist.

Therefore,we can get you a lawyer to sign the papers on
your behalf and copies would be faxed to you for reference
while the payment is made to your account under 48 hours.I
have n't got your telephone number at least,let me call
you.The US number was always in answering machine.Don't you
have phone?

I am waiting for your speedy reply with your bank details.

Regards,

Chief Adolphus Wagbara
Senate President.

Dear Cheap Adolphus

What do you mean the fund has left Amsterdam this morning? I was
counting on that money to pay off my Colombian business partners.
You've caused me so much trouble Adolphus, you and that tiny cocked
Ass-Wizard Andy Fish of yours. I'll have to pay them out of my own
pocket now and that's really dicked me off.

OK, let's move on. So the money is on its way back to Nigeria is it?
Well I could come and pick it up myself but since I don't feel like
getting abducted by bandits, dry-bummed and burned in a ditch I'd rather
not. So get an attorney of yours to sort out the paperwork for me and
I'll handle the rest from here.

My bank details are as follows:

HANG SENG Bank
Macau
20/F Central Plaza, Avenida de AlmeidaRibeiro No 61, Macau
Tel 853 323 321
Account Number: 4-288-1-882-9
Account Name: Daniel Sailzda Ocean ((OOPS, EARLIER I CLAIMED DANNY'S MIDDLE INITIALS WERE E.R. NO PROBLEM, ADOLPHUS DOESN'T SPOT THIS))

And by the way, if your office RimGoblins can't figure out how to use a
telephone that's not my problem. You've got my number, leave a
voicemail message if I'm not available. I'm a busy man - you must have
some successful relatives who can tell you what that's like.

Danny Ocean

Attn:Danny Ocean,

Your bank detail is well received.I have contacted an
Attorney who will take care of the paper works.

He is Pius A.Ilodiuba.Senior Advocate of Nigeria SAN

His legal service charge is US$2,150TWO THOUSAND ONE
HUNDRED AND FIFTY UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY ((FEES TO PAY?? WHAT A SURPRISE!!))

Note,there is no more serious part you have to play because
if the Attorney signs the paper on your behalf,the fund
will be released and transfer to your designated bank
account.

You can send the money by WESTERN UNION.

NAME:PIUS ANIAGBAOSO ILODIUBA
ADDRESS:77 ALABA-SURU,
NIGERIA.

This fund can be transferred to your account by friday if
you can send immediately the Attorney's legal service fee.

Regards,
Chief Adolphus Wagbara
Senate President.

Adolph baby!

At last we have progress. Thanks for sorting things out, I'm sure
everything will be icy cool from now on.

I hope this attorney is a professional man and not some cross dressing
buttock swimmer like Andy Fish.

I'll send the money by Western Union.

Reference: 235418491
Test Question: Why do birds suddenly appear?
Answer: Everytime you are near.

Let's make things happen

Danny Ocean

((MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE THERE IS NO MONEY... HEH HEH. AT THIS POINT I DECIDED TO TAKE A RISK. I INTRODUCED A FAKE RIVAL SCAMMER AND RATHER UNWISELY USED THE NAME OF THE NOTORIOUS USMAN BELLO. IN HINDSIGHT, AFTER NEEDING TO REFORMAT MY HDD TWICE, THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE. STILL, LIFE IS FULL OF LEARNING CURVES.))

Chief,

Don't play me for a fool.

I just visited the Western Union site, logged in with the reference number that I gave you, and guess what? The money has already been collected.

That's $2150 that your man Usman Bello already has.

If you think I'm stupid enough to send the same money twice then you're a colon-cowboy of the highest order. No way Adolphus baby. You've got your money, now send me mine.

Call me at once

Danny

SUBJECT: I DON'T KNOW ANY USMAN BELLO

Dear Danny Ocean,

I am writing this message to clear my self.Pius Aniagbaoso ILodiuba is the Attorney to sign the payment document on
your behalf.He is also the right person to receive US$2,150
which you sent.

I don't know any Usman Bello rather than Pius Aniagbaoso
Ilodiuba Senior Advocate of NigeriaSANI have forwarded
instruction to the Union Bank of Nigeria PLC.to arrange for
immediate transfer of US$45,000,000 to
your favour.

The above bank is the bank to transfer the fund after
signing the payment documents as follows:AFFIDAVIT OF
CLAIM/TRUST,HIPC,PAYMENT RELEASE ORDER DOCUMENT AND
AGREEMENT BETWEEN YOU AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

If you have any thing discussing with any Usman
Bello,please believe I don't know him and you should stop
discussin with him because he is an IMPOSTOR.You may be
contacted by the bank but it is when the Attorney signs the
papers.

I am waiting for your urgent reply because your payment is
supposed to take place today.Incase you are sending the
money,please,send by western union or money gram.

Best Regards,

Chief Adolphus Wagbara

Senate President.

Ado baby,

I feel like a fool to have been taken in by this scumbag Usman Bello.
He obviously has access to my email account or something.
If I find out he's working for you then there will be trouble for you.
9mm trouble, OK?

So I'll send my fees by Western Union. I went to the office today and
they gave me a new security form that the recipient (YOU or Your
attorney) needs to complete before I can release the funds. I'm
attaching a copy now. You need to fill it in, scan it and email it back
to me (or fax it to the number I gave you before).

They also need an SVI (Secure Visual Identifier) of the person who will
pick up the money. It must be a new picture and display the full face
of the recipient, who must also be holding a sign with a randomnly
chosen phrase. The phrase they gave me is MY TIMBERS ARE SHIVERING.

All this paperwork is a pain in the ass. Apparently it's to prevent
fraud like that Bello guy does.

OK, get the paperwork and the photo back to me as soon as you can, and
I'll send the money.

Danny

Attn: Danny Ocean,

I am very sorry to let you know that Barrister Pius
A.Ilodiuba stated that there will be no chance for him to
assist in signing the payment documents any longer.He said
he is leaving this morning for Eastern Nigeria as he has
case to brief in the Court.

He has to defend his client before the Court in Eastern
Nigeria for about 14 working days.Therefore,he can not help
in signing the payment document.I made another profitable
contact to another good Attorney but
he is from China,he works under the Chinese Embassy in
Nigeria.

Now,he will sign the papers immediately he receives the
US$2,150.
The Chinese Attorney is called Barrister Chang Fantune: He
stated that you have to remit the money to his account
below and he will sign the papers.

BANK OF CHINA HONG KONG
10-12 QUEENS ROAD WEST SHEUNG WAN
HONG KONG
SWIFT CODE:BKCHHKHHXXX
A/C NO:01292692021882
BENEFICIARY:FANTUNE INT.HKCO.LTD.

Please Danny, bear with me because all I am doing it to
give you a good service.Please waste no time to send the
money to Barrister Fantune's bank account in Hong Kong so
that he can sign the payment papers

Regards,
Chief Adolphus Wagbara
Senate President.