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| My (short) Interview With Harry Potter |
| After a suggestion from Lady Croft, I thought "What the hell?" and decided to give the doppleganger a chance. For the first time ever, here is my exclusive, unbiased interview with my inferior. |
| The enemy |
| DSL: Welcome, Potter, to my website. HP: It's a pleasure to be here. DSL: Whatever. Anyway, some people -- namely myself -- want to know why you're trying to take over my life, starting with my looks. HP: Huh? What the -- ? What are you talking about? DSL: Consider the facts, Mr. Potter -- if that is your real name. I'm older than you, so I came first. Hence, it is impossible for me to steal your looks. HP: You're talking nonsense. That's not even a fact! DSL: Also, you're taking all of my money. I should be writing books about myself and selling them to dumb little kids for $50 (Canadian) a pop. Consider that! HP: Consider what? You're a psychopath! Please, show me the exit. DSL: Oh, so I'm supposed to be your bitch now, huh? Show yourself the exit, asshole! HP: Help me! I'm stuck on this dumpy website! I'm trapped with a crazy man! DSL: I'll kill you!! *Um, I had to cut this interview short. It, uh, wasn't going anywhere...Not anymore. Plus, y'know, the guy died. So, no new books for little dumb kids! Sorry, whiners.* |
| This took me five minutes to write |
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| The next book: Harry Potter and the Funeral of Secrets |