Chapter 41

 
Four days.  Slowly, four days had passed in torture for the friends and family of Brian Littrell.  No one knew what to do with themselves.  They couldn't stop their lives.  And yet, they felt that if they kept going, it would be betrayal towards him.  So for some of them, life did continue for a while.  

The rest of the Backstreet Boys kept going to meet-n-greets and interviews.  They answered what questions they could about Brian
without giving away where he was located and what exactly his condition was. All of their best, optimistic faces were kept on the outside, when inside they didn't know if their brother would make it to the next day.

Harold, Jackie, and Harry could do nothing but wait for the phone call that determined their family's fate.  They visited Angela a couple times to get out of the hotel and to see how she was doing.  But mostly, they hung out, not wanting to miss the phone call.

Krista did her best to keep Angela busy.  She didn't want to sit around and watch Angela drive herself crazy; it wouldn't be good for
her or her baby.  So she took her out to dinner, they watched movies, and Krista even had her try to do some homework that was long overdue.  It surprised Krista at how well Angela was taking this.  But then again, she wasn't talking about it much which could mean one big breakdown later. But for the time being, Krista let Angela use her as a means of support.

It was early afternoon when Krista picked up the phone to hear Jackie's voice on the other end.  "Hi Jackie!  How is Brian?" She was almost afraid to hear the response.  

 

"Well, he's good actually."  Krista let out a sigh of relief. "But, he's not out of the woods yet.  Let me talk to Angela and she can fill you in on the rest."

Krista silently understood that Jackie wanted to tell her son's fiancee herself.  "Angela!!  Jackie is on the phone!  She has news about Brian!!"

Angela swept up the extension off the hook in the kitchen.  "Hello Jackie.  Please tell me you have good news?"
 

"Yes, it is good news.  Dr. Thomas called me earlier to tell me that they ran a CAT scan on Brian.  The results show that he does have brain activity."  Angela let out a sigh of relief.  "But, this is only a stepping stone.  He still has to come out of the coma."

"This is great news!" Angela shrieked.  "Why don't you sound happier about it?"

"Because there is still that chance that he won't come out of this coma.  I can't get my hopes up only to find out that my son will never look me in the eyes and tell me that he loves me ever again.  That I would never be able to hug him or watch him do all the things that he loves.  Of all the things that hurt the most, it's that my grandchild, his child, may never get to meet their father.  The baby doesn't deserve that and neither does Brian.  You don't deserve to raise this baby on your own, but should do it with Brian at your side.   Brian deserves to watch his child grow up.  The baby deserves to get to know Brian.  And you deserve to spend the rest of your life with him.  I've never seen him happier unless he was with you.  He was right; you really do complete him Angela.  The three of you deserve to live a full and happy life together."

Angela felt her high come crashing down as she saw her life without Brian flash before her eyes.  It was something that she didn't want to see or accept.  Jackie had made her see this in a way that she had never seen it before and it was like a slap in the face. The tears fell from her eyes as if she had never cried before.  There was no way she was going to live without Brian again.  Once was enough for her.

"Jackie, I'm so sorry that I'm acting like this," Angela sobbed.

 

"No, honey, it's OK.  Sometimes it's OK to have that breakdown. You've been so strong for everyone else.  And now you need to let it all out.  What you need is a warm bath and a long nap to make you feel better. And tonight Harold, Harry, and I are going to see him.  Why don't you come with us?"

"OK.  That sounds good.  What time?"

"We figured around 6."

"Alright.  Thanks for everything Jackie," she whispered.

"No problem.  Bye."

"Bye."

Angela turned around to see Krista sitting at the kitchen table.  "Are you going to be OK?" she asked, getting up to give her best friend a hug.

"Yeah.  I think I'm gonna take a warm bath and then a nap just to relax," Angela replied, taking Jackie's suggestions.  "But let me relay to you what Jackie told me about Brian."  And so she did before giving some well deserved time to herself.

***

Krista drove Angela to the hospital because if Angela was going to be upset again, she didn't want her driving.  Nick met Krista there so they could support each other.  Before he left though, he called Kevin, Howie, and AJ to let them know that everyone was going. So instead of the Littrell family and Angela, it turned into everyone once again gathered at the hospital.

Jackie and Harold were surprised to see everyone walk into the
waiting room they had become all too familiar with.  "Thank you all for coming to be here at Brian's side constantly," Jackie smiled at them.

"It really means alot to us and to Brian," Harold added.

"All I know is that I'm not going anywhere until I know that Bri is OK," AJ stated.  Everyone else nodded in agreement.  

"And being here for Brian means more to us than anything else right now," Howie chimed in.

"Except for one thing that we have to go to tonight," Kevin interjected.

"I hate to be the fatherly figure here, but we have to go to that meeting with management to talk about that official press conference about Brian."

The other three guys groaned.  "Aunt Jackie and Uncle Harold, I'm sure you both understand."
 

"Of course," Harold said.  "It's something that needs to be done.  We want your fans to know how Brian is doing.  They have every right to know."

"In that case, let's all go and see him before we have to leave," Howie suggested.

"Well, I'm gonna wait," Nick said, not getting up.

"Why?" AJ asked.

"I'm going to go in with Angela."

Kevin, AJ, and Howie just looked at each other and shrugged.  "OK," Kevin said.  Then they left to go be with Brian.  

 Krista looked at Nick.  "What made you say that?"

"I think it might be good if we supported each other like that.  I mean, besides his family, the two of us know him the best.  It's just something I can't explain."

 "It's OK Nicky," she reassured him and gave his hand a squeeze as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Angela will come for a short walk with me?  I just need to talk to you for a minute," Harry said out of nowhere.

"Yeah, sure," she replied, not too sure where this was going.

They got up and walked down the hall for a bit in silence.  When it seemed like they were far away enough, Harry started," Angela, ever since the day Brian first brought you home, I knew that you were the one for him.  You always treated him right and respected him for who he was.  And because of that I always thought very highly of you.  When he called the house to tell us that he had gotten back together with you, Mom, Dad, and I couldn't have been happier.  But now this is happened and we got to see you again; too bad it had to be under these circumstances.  What I'm trying to get at is that I'm so happy for you and Brian.  I couldn't have asked for a better woman to marry him.  But I just want to ask you to take care of him.  He's my little brother and needs someone to always be there for him.  And I know that no matter where he goes on tour or what he does in his life, you will be there for him.  I just want to thank you for making him happy."

Angela stopped and looked at Harry.  "You have no need to worry about him.  I promise that I will do my best for him.  It's only what he deserves."

Harry swept Angela into a hug as she finished her last sentence. "Thank you," he whispered.  She just nodded into his shoulder.

As they broke apart, Angela said, "Well I hate to be the one to break up a moment here, but I have to get back because Nick wanted to go see Brian with me."  He smiled at her as they turned around to go back to the waiting room.

When they got there, they saw that AJ, Howie, and Kevin had returned.  "I guess nothing yet?" Harry asked.  They all shook their heads in response.

"You ready?" Angela asked Nick.

"Yeah.  We're leaving soon."  He got up and escorted Angela to Brian's room down the hall.  Right before they stepped into the room, Nick felt Angela grab his hand.  "You OK?"

"Yeah," she said, barely audible.  "You just make me feel better because you know almost exactly what I'm going through.  You give me strength."

Nick gave her hand a squeeze and they entered the room.  Brian lay in the bed looking like he had when he was first brought into the hospital after he was shot.  He still had plenty of machines hooked up to him, monitoring his every breath and heartbeat.  It was almost as if the machines were saying that he couldn't do anything for himself anymore,
 

They slowly walked over to the bed to be closer to him.  Nick gently let go of Angela's hand and just stared at his best friend.  He had so much he wanted to say to Brian, but the words got caught in his throat every time he opened his mouth.  He took a couple minutes to collect himself.  "Brian, before I break down, I just want you to know that I love you like the older brother I never had. You've taught me so much over the last few years and are truly my best friend and brother.  And no matter what happens to you, you will always remain that way to me."  He choked out the last couple of words as a lump rose in his throat and he silently cried.  
      

Angela turned to Nick and embraced him.  Her heart broke at the sight in front of her and she began to cry herself.  "Nick, he's going to be OK. That's what you have been telling me all along, isn't it?  We just have to stay strong."  But Angela didn't know if he was going to be OK.  For right now though, she had to be strong for Nick as he had done so many times for her.
      

He pulled away from her and forced a small smile.  "I know you want to say some things to him before we go, so go ahead."
     

"Thanks," she smiled.  Angela turned around to Brian.  She took his hand in hers.  "Hey sweetie, it's me.   The baby is doing fine so far.  And so am I.  At least I think.  Today, your mother called me to tell me that you have brain activity.  I hope they told you that so you know that you really and truly can get better.  Anyway, she made me realize that there really may be that chance that you may not live and that I may be raising our baby on my own.  I really don't want to have to do that.  I can't imagine doing it without you." She was sobbing uncontrollably now.  "God forbid that does happen, I promise I will do everything in my power to keep the memory of you alive to everyone that has known you.  And I will make sure that our baby knows everything about you.  I'll make it so it would be like you are right there with us.  I just can't imagine my life without you."  She couldn't speak anymore and just looked down at the bed.  The sight of her fiancee was too much for her.  She squeezed his hand and turned to leave.  But Angela felt something.
      

Brian squeezed back.
      

She turned around quickly to look straight into his beautiful, blue eyes.  "You don't have to imagine Princess.  I told you I'm not going
anywhere."