I walked into Nick’s room a half an hour later
to see AJ sleeping in the bed across from Nick’s and a tube with flowing blood
connected to his arm going into Nick’s.
I sat down by Nick’s bed and studied his
face. He looked like he was in a
nightmare and couldn’t wake up. I held
onto his hand and felt tears sting my eyes as they fell down my cheeks.
“Why
did you do this, Nick? Was it because I
wasn’t there?” I asked as I took a deep breath and listened to the beeping
sounds of the machines. I watched the blood flow from AJ’s body and into
Nick’s.
I started to pray, wishing that this was a
nightmare, and that I was in that position, instead of Nick. I had to know why, why the funny and happy
guy I use to know would try to kill himself.
I got up out of my seat and walked out of Nick’s room and found Howie
walking towards me.
“Bri,
where you going?” Howie asked.
“I need to go to Nick’s house. I want to know what drove him to this,” I
said.
“Will you be ok?” Howie asked.
“Yeah, call me if anything happens to anyone,”
I said as Howie nodded, and I walked towards the exit. I walked to the rental car and got into
it. I put the key in the ignition and
drove off towards Nick’s house.
I pulled into Nick’s driveway and got out of
the car. I walked to the front door and
picked up the Beavis and Butthead “Buzz Off” mat and found the spare key. I put the key into the lock and heard a
click as the door opened.
I walked into the front room and gasped at what
I saw. There was a trail of dry blood
on the floor, along with twenty to thirty opened beer cans that were empty.
I saw little packets of white stuff on the
floor as I went and picked it up. I
looked at it more closely and noticed it was cocaine. How could he do this?
I put
down the packet and followed the dry trail of blood into the bathroom. I felt my stomach turn as I saw a puddle of
dry blood on the floor and a razor blade.
This couldn’t be true. Had Nick
really tried to kill himself?
Well,
of course he did. The proof was right
here in front of my eyes.
I walked out of the bathroom and into the
kitchen where I saw knife carvings on the walls. I read the carvings as I began to cry. The carvings were too painful to read, and the horrible thing
was, I knew they were true.
I
couldn’t take this anymore. Why
couldn’t we just understand Nick didn’t want to sing anymore and just help him
instead of abandon him? Then again, no
one knew it would go this far.
I
wanted to die knowing I had played a role in putting nick in pain, but now he
was suffering, and here we, the ones who put him to this, were, suffering to
see our friend like this.
I took a knife from the drawer and held it to
my neck. I closed my eyes, and thoughts
ran through my head, as I dropped the knife, and it clattered to the ground.
I walked quickly towards the door and shut it
behind me, as I got into the car and drove back to the hospital.
As I was driving to the hospital my cell phone
started to ring. I picked it up and pressed the talk button.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Bri, its Howie. Kevin’s unconscious again; he has eternal bleeding in his
stomach, and they’re taking him into surgery,” he said, as his voice trembled.
“I’ll be there in a few minutes, Howie,” I said
as I pressed on the gas pedal and sped off down the street. I parked the car and walked in, seeing Howie
sitting down in down in one of the cars.
“Hey,
Howie,” I said as he looked at me.
“Hey, Bri, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I said as I sat down next to him and stared off into
space.