“Howie!”
Howie let out a quiet sigh of frustration. He
took off his headset and turned his attention to the sound booth. His four band
mates felt for him, they really did, but it was the fourth time in one day the
same thing had occurred. Their patience was wearing thin.
“You’re falling behind again,
Howie,” the voice came over the speakers.
“I know,” Howie said softly. He
had a somewhat apologetic look on his face, though he seemed a bit annoyed. He
studied the floor closely, winning the sympathy vote from his band mates and
the personnel in the sound box.
“Try it again,” sighed the voice.
Howie slipped his headset back
on, avoiding his band mates’ gazes. He kept his eyes on the floor as the music
for “Drowning” drifted back on. Brian took his solo first with a benevolent
glance at his tense friend.
“Don't pretend you're sorry. I
know you're not. You know you've got the power to make me weak inside. And girl
you leave me breathless. But it's okay because you are my survival. Now hear me
say…”
Howie took in a short breath and
began his part.
“I can't imagine life without
your love. And even forever don't seem like long eno–”
“STOP!”
Howie tore his headset off, his
usually calm eyes burning. He glared at the sound box. A.J. hesitantly touched
his arm. Howie shrugged his hand off, never once taking his eyes from the sound
box.
“Howie, I know your voice isn’t
exceptionally loud, but at least try to sing louder. We need to get this
finished by the end of this millennium, please.”
His eyes were hurt. His band
mates were about to say something in his defense, but before anyone could make
a move, Howie dropped his headset and stormed from the room.
A.J. glared at the sound box.
“Great going, idiot,” he snapped. He went to follow his friend, but he felt a
hand close around his arm. Surprisingly, it was Kevin.
“I’ll get him,” he said
resolvedly.
A.J. was uncertain, and it showed
in his expression. He tried to read the emotion in Kevin’s eyes, trying to
judge whether he would berate Howie or reassure him. Unfortunately, Kevin’s
eyes were not nearly as tell-all as his or Howie’s were. Eventually, he let Kevin
by him, hoping he wouldn’t be responsible for one of Howie’s rare breakdowns.
<~*~>
Howie slammed his back against
the wall, folding his arms across his chest. He glared at the floor, furiously
trying to hold back bitter tears. He hated it when people tried to down his
voice. It was the one thing he was proudest of, and it tore him apart to hear
people tell him he wasn’t any good.
He heard someone’s footsteps
approaching. He was disappointed to realize it wasn’t A.J., but Kevin. He recognized
the way Kevin walked, and the sound his shoes made against the linoleum. The
fact that he could tell his band mates apart by their walk was a tad
frightening, but at the moment, he didn’t care.
“Howie?” came Kevin’s inevitable
voice.
Howie didn’t bother to look up.
“Don’t try and drag me back there, I totally humiliated myself,” he muttered.
To his shock, Kevin said, “All
right.”
Howie’s eyes shot up to Kevin’s
placid green ones. “Are you serious?” he said softly.
Kevin nodded. “If you don’t feel
up to it, we can reschedule for tomorrow.”
Howie blinked. “Really?”
Kevin smiled slightly. “Yeah.”
Howie smiled. “Thanks.”
“Anytime,” Kevin said. “After
all, we need a break.”
As Kevin began to walk away,
Howie called after him, “Kev?”
Kevin turned around, eyes
questioning. “Hmm?”
Howie smiled, somewhat
embarrassed. “They won’t be mad, will they?”
With a reassuring smile, Kevin
said, “If they are, they’ll have to deal.”
Howie chuckled lightly, watching
Kevin head back to the room. He sighed after he was sure his elder friend was
gone. He rubbed his throat, wincing slightly.
“What’s wrong with…?” He broke
off into a hoarse whisper and his eyes widened. It was happening again.
He was losing his voice.
It happened every now and again,
but as the week went on, it happened more and more. During the unexpected break
while A.J. went into rehabilitation for anxiety, depression, and alcohol abuse,
his voice began to die every now and again. It was beginning to frighten him,
it happening so often, but there was little to no way to stop it.
He tried to speak, as his mute
spells only lasted a few moments…
But his voice was still gone.