Chapter 8

Howie had less than six months left to live. The latest test results had told the severity of the disease. The infection was moving faster, so it seemed. Over the next four weeks, whatever happiness Howie had managed to gather had been totally crushed. The hospital wanted to know more about the infection while it was alive, and while Howie was still able to give his consent for the testing to be done.

“You don’t have to go through with this,” A.J. said to him once, giving him a meaningful look. Howie had only shrugged and went back to studying the floor.

A.J. knew Howie hated every minute he had to spend in Mercy Hospital. He loathed being treated like a science project instead of a living, breathing person. Kevin hated him going to the hospital to begin with. A.J. tried to understand why Howie was letting them take such tests on him, but he failed miserably.

It was during one of the later tests that things finally began to fall into place. They had taken a sample of blood from Howie, and his body had responded horribly. He had lost consciousness the moment the needle pricked his skin. A.J. was on the hospital’s back instantly, saying they pushed Howie too far, did one experiment too many. But it was too late to take back. The damage was done.

“We have to move him to another hospital,” A.J. pleaded with Kevin in the waiting room. “Please, we can’t have this happening. They’re treating him like crap and he’s not getting help from them at all! You see what they’re doing! They’re using him for a toy, a stupid medical game!” A.J.’s eyes flared in anger. “I’m not going to sit and watch Howie get treated like that.”

Kevin nodded. “I suppose maybe you’re right, but where could we move him to? Who else could help him?”

A.J. shrugged. “I don’t know, but I can’t stand to see these doctors looking at him like he’s some sort of a fucking guinea pig.”

“All right,” Kevin relented. “We’ll look later in the week.”

“Tomorrow,” A.J. corrected.

Kevin sighed. “Fine, tomorrow.”

A doctor came into the room and looked directly at A.J. “A.J., Howie asked for you. Ask Nurse Alvadi in the ICU which room he’s in.” By this time, the doctors knew Kevin, A.J., Brian, and Nick by name and face. One of them was always with Howie whether it be for an examination or a test. Mostly the four singers were forced to stay in the waiting room, but they came anyway.

A.J. nodded and glanced at Kevin. Kevin waved a hand at him, motioning him to go. The doctor went down a hallway to A.J.’s left, off to investigate some other lab rat victim of an incurable illness. Were all people who had incurable diseases treated so badly? He went into the ICU and confronted a woman in her late forties at the front desk.

She smiled upon seeing him. Nurse Alvadi was one of the only kind people at Mercy Hospital. It was such an ironic name for a place that held demons in place of merciful angels. “Hello A.J.,” she said warmly. “Howie asked for you.”

A.J. smiled back, a feeble attempt at any level, but an attempt nonetheless. He resisted asking how Howie had asked for him, since he was mute, after all. “What room is he in?” he asked instead.

“Room eight,” she said. “Be quiet when you go in though, he’s a little out of it.”

A.J. nodded. “Thanks.” He headed for room eight and paused in the doorway.

Howie was lying peacefully on his back, his eyes shut languidly. A.J. winced and looked at his feet. He hated to see anyone in a hospital, let alone one of his best friends. He walked over to the bedside and looked down at him. Asleep. He glanced up at the machinery surrounding the bed. He watched the ghostly green line trail up and down rhythmically.

A.J. rested a hand on Howie’s arm, lightly shaking him. “Hey D,” he whispered, “wake up.”

Howie blinked lethargically. He yawned and sat up, looking to A.J. like he was trying to hide how exhausted he was. He gazed at A.J. with a tired smile. A.J. marveled at how he could still be sweet after everything that had happened. The way Howie acted, it was as if nothing had changed. But of course, Howie was a master at hiding emotions. There were few people that could unmask them. To A.J.’s advantage, A.J. was one of them.

“We’re getting you out of this hospital,” A.J. told him, returning the smile weakly.

Howie’s eyes sparkled, his smile growing warmer. “Thanks,” he mouthed.

A.J. smiled. “This place is a hellhole. I’m not going to let them treat you like a guinea pig.”

Howie rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

“What’d you want me for?” A.J. asked, leaning against the rail on the bed.

Howie shrugged. He smiled embarrassedly.

A.J. laughed. “You just wanted to talk?” He bit his lip. He hated himself for phrasing it that way.

However, Howie only smiled and nodded.

For the next twenty minutes, the two friends were able to spend time together without worries of Howie’s illness or the holiday season right around the corner. With Christmas so near, it was inevitable that plans would be in the process of being made. Howie made it clear that he wanted to be with his family, as they had all expected. They originally planned to spend time apart, but they saw Howie’s reluctance to agree to this, so A.J. and Nick volunteered to spend the holidays with him. Now, though, with the recent developments with Howie’s disease, it was unlikely that he would be able to leave the hospital world in time for Christmas. That had been the straw that broke the camel’s back. A.J. had just heard this from Nurse Alvadi the day before. He couldn’t allow Mercy Hospital to do this to Howie. He had to get Howie away from the hospital. But where else could he go?

A.J. had just finished telling Howie about the latest in the roguish lives of Frick and Frack when someone knocked at the door. Howie looked up instantly, the amused smile fading away just as quickly. A.J. scowled at the doctor, his death gaze smashing the warm atmosphere in the room in half.

“We have the results from your blood test,” the expressionless doctor said, shooting an icy glower at A.J.

Howie gulped, his face turning white.

A.J. only needed one look at his friend to push him over the edge. He glared at the doctor. “And? Would you mind finishing that sentence?” he spat angrily.

The doctor ignored him. “I’m afraid the results were not as pleasing as one would have hoped.”

A.J. fumed. “Goddamn it, just say it!”

The doctor looked down at his clipboard. “You have what seems to be three months left.”

Howie blanched. He stared at the floor, visibly shaking.

A.J. stood up abruptly, his eyes wide. “How? But-but…” He shook his head violently. “That’s not…you can’t just keep changing his death day like it’s your next day off!” He turned blue in anger. “You’re not God, damn it!”

“I’m sorry.” But the doctor sounded about as apologetic as a rock.

A.J.’s jaw tightened. “I’m sure you are. Get the hell out,” he growled.

With an impassive air, Doctor Angel of Death swept out of the room.

A.J. turned around to see Howie with his head in his hands. He shot a furious glare at the doctor’s retreating back and slammed the door. Howie looked up at him, face streaked with tears. A.J. walked over to the bed and squeezed Howie’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” A.J. said quietly.

Howie shook his head, eyes falling to the ground.

A.J. ground his teeth. “They don’t know shit, D,” he said angrily. He sat on the edge of the bed, focusing on Howie’s downcast face. “They don’t know if you’re going to die.” He bit the words out wrathfully, lacing every word with rage. “After all, they don’t even know what the damn thing is.”

Howie nodded faintly.

A.J. put his hand under Howie’s chin and forced his older friend to look at him. “I’m serious, D. I’m not lying to you so you feel better.” He kept Howie’s eyes locked with his own, trying to force sense into the Latino by telepathy. “If I thought lying to you would help at all, I would, but I’m not going to. If I thought you were going to die, I’d be trying to make these last months the best you ever had. But I’m not, because I know nothing bad is going to happen. I have more faith in God than that.” He smiled slightly. “He wouldn’t take you away from us. Not yet. Nick’s imagination isn’t dry yet. He’s still got pranks to play on you.”

Howie smiled weakly.

“And Kevin can’t deal with this group without you.” He grinned. “Brian needs someone he can talk to that isn’t going to laugh in his face or lecture him.” His grin faded. He looked at his friend seriously. “And I need you, bud. I can’t tell the others half the things I can tell you.”

A tear streaked down Howie’s face. He brushed it away impatiently.

A.J. smiled. “That’s why I’m not worried. These people don’t know crap.” He studied Howie’s eyes. “You trust me, don’t you?”

Howie smiled and nodded.

A.J. grinned. “Good.” He got up from the bed, looking down the hallway. He glanced back at Howie. “You ready to get the hell out of here?”

Howie nodded vehemently.

A.J. laughed. “All right then.”

<~*~>

When Howie and A.J. reached the waiting room, they found Kevin sitting there, leafing through a random magazine. He glanced up. He was anxious to see Howie’s reaction. Doctor Phillips had found Kevin in the waiting room and informed him about Howie’s illness. To his intense shock, Howie was smiling. A.J. grinned when he saw Kevin’s lightly astonished expression.

“Heyyyyy Kev-o,” A.J. sang, earning a glare from the older man.

“Don’t call me that,” Kevin sang back.

Howie rolled his eyes.

Kevin watched the younger man earnestly. “You all right, D?” he asked.

Howie gave him one of his infamous half-smiles and nodded.

Kevin looked at A.J., an eyebrow raised. A.J. shrugged.

Howie elbowed A.J. A.J. gave him a curious look. Howie gestured at Kevin curiously.

Kevin blinked. He still didn’t understand the telepathy link Howie and A.J. had, but he figured it was better someone understood Howie.

“Oh, Nick and Bri went out to the basketball court,” A.J. said. He rolled his eyes. “I give it another hour before they come running back screaming bloody murder with a horde of girls chasing them.”

Howie laughed soundlessly. Kevin smiled sadly. He wished he could hear Howie’s laugh again. It was such a rich sound, so full of life…

“Kev?” A.J. interrupted his thoughts, staring at him.

Kevin shook his head in a way that stopped A.J.’s next question (most likely, “What are you smoking, man?”).

“Wanna head back to the hotel?” Kevin asked.

Howie and A.J. nodded in unison.

As they left the hospital, A.J. slapped Kevin’s shoulder, reminding him it was the last time they were leaving those automatic doors.

<~*~>

“What day is today?” Nick asked Brian, stepping onto the couch where Brian sat, reading a book.

“The fourth of shut the hell up,” Brian answered, keeping his eyes on the pages of his book.

Nick grinned, seeing he was getting the appropriate reaction. “What time is it?” He began jumping on the couch.

“Five minutes after the last time you asked me,” Brian snapped. “And stop doing that.”

Nick continued to jump, grinning like an idiot. “When are you going to come play basketball with me?”

“The thirtieth of never,” Brian growled.

Nick pouted. “You promised!” he whined.

Brian finally snapped and caught Nick’s ankle mid-jump. Nick yelped and tumbled off the couch, landing on his stomach with a loud “OOMPH!” Brian grinned and returned to the save haven of his book.

“I don’t like you anymore!” Nick wailed, pushing himself off the floor. He rubbed his stomach, scowling. “You suck and you’re no fun and you break promises.”

Brian sighed loudly. He shut his book and lay it on the arm of the couch. He looked up at Nick with an unimpressed sort of glare. “I’m sorry, your whining is too high pitched for anyone but a dog to hear. Would you like to try complaining to me in some normal tone of voice?” With that, he went back to his book.

Nick let out a sigh of frustration. “Gah!” he exclaimed, throwing his arms up. “Aaron’s more fun than you!” he muttered, heading for the door. As he opened the door, Brian looked up.

“Where’re you goin’?”

Nick gave him a sarcastic glare. “Where else, dumbass? I’m goin’ to the arcade downstairs.” He shot poison through his eyes. “Think of it this way: I’m abandoning you for heartless, brainless machines.” He slammed the door behind him.

Brian winced. Maybe I was a little harsh on him, he thought, biting his lip. Everyone was so touchy lately. Especially A.J. and Nick. The smallest thing could set either one off. A.J. had it easier, though. He didn’t have his best friend prodding him with a needle trying to get information out of him. No, Howie had an easier way of getting what he wanted. It was called “the eyes”. Howie and Nick had one thing in common above everything else. They both could get anything they wanted with a simple pleading look. The only difference was Nick out-used his look thirty times a day, while Howie rarely used his, and when he did use it he did it unconsciously.

But no, you could almost never be too harsh with Nick. After all, Kevin constantly screamed at Nick. After a few hours, Nick got over it eventually, and he went on with his life. Brian had been virtually sweet to Nick compared to some of the beatings Kevin gave him.

Brian sighed and went back to his book, immediately finding the page he had left off on.

<~*~>

When Kevin entered the building, Howie and A.J. behind him, he began to wonder what was the best thing to do. He didn’t want to scare Howie worse than he already was by taking him to a different hospital that might, by some slight but existent chance in hell, be worse. But of course, Kevin considered, looking back at A.J., the rebel had a point, too. Mercy Hospital was predicting a different death day for Howie everyday. Almost anything could be better than that.

Glancing behind him again, Kevin saw both A.J. and Howie found the floor highly interesting. He sighed. This was taking a definite toll on all of them. But Howie’s morale was vaguely better after they left the hospital. Kevin sensed A.J. had talked to him. Whatever he had said seemed to make that much of a difference between depression and happiness.

While Kevin silently praised him for his efforts, A.J. was scolding himself for the same thing. For the time being, A.J. remained the only one that knew he had lied to Howie. Lied through his teeth. He had no idea whether or not Howie was going to die in three months. He wanted to make Howie feel better, and while he knew he had, he also felt like a traitor. He promised Howie he would be honest with him. Instead, he had lied to his best friend and told him a truth that was only genuine in his own warped mind. If Howie ever knew A.J. had lied to him, would he ever trust him again?

Howie was off in a world all his own. He was giving thought to things Kevin and A.J. would never have let him if they knew. He wondered whether or not what A.J. had said was true. Whether it was naivety or trust he couldn’t be sure, but he believed in his heart that A.J. wouldn’t lie to him. A.J. wouldn’t hold out on him. He didn’t give it a second thought. It was just a fact. A.J. would not lie to him. He had said so himself. Out of all his family and friends, he trusted A.J. to tell him the truth, because A.J. knew himself what it was like to be lied to. And he knew what it felt like to find out someone had.

Kevin walked up ahead, unconsciously moving faster. He wanted to get back to Brian and Nick. For some reason, he felt closer to them. Brian was his cousin, so there was one tie, and Nick was Brian’s best friend, the other tie. But A.J. and Howie had their own bond; one no one else really felt comfortable intruding into. Kevin, though, got special entrance into Frick and Frack because he was Brian’s cousin. Besides that, neither A.J. or Howie seemed very uplifting, and Kevin needed his spirits lifted and soon if he wanted to hold out for Howie and pretend like nothing was wrong.

A.J. waited until Kevin was out of earshot before reaching over and stopping Howie in his tracks. Howie set a curious expression on him, and A.J. gestured for him to stay still. Kevin turned the corner; he didn't notice that neither one of his band mates was behind him.

“Kevin’s not sure about switching hospitals,” he said quietly. He figured since he had lied to him, he could compensate by telling him everything except the most important thing.

Howie nodded. He had expected this. Kevin worried more than anyone in the group. Especially when it involved one of his younger band mates. He knew Kevin was worrying more than anyone else about the uncomfortable situation Howie was in. If he left the hospital, where would he go? Mercy Hospital had been there when the infection developed. They were the only hospital that understood what was going on. If they switched him to another hospital, what would the next hospital say? He would die within a day?

A.J. read his mind. “I know you want to agree with him, but I don’t like Mercy at all. They’re treating you like shit. You of all people should see that, can’t you?” His eyes were beseeching.

Howie took a moment of hesitation before nodding his unsure agreement. He knew, of course. You would have to be blind and stupid not to. But he knew A.J. was ready to pull the lungs out of the nearest doctor at Mercy as soon as he was sure no one was looking. He didn’t want to make A.J. madder than he already was.

A.J. continued, pleased that he had gotten the reaction he wanted. “Kevin’s a lunatic for wanting to keep you there,” he seethed. He glared down the hallway. He sighed. “But he’s scared. Like the rest of us…” He shook his head slowly. He looked at Howie, eyes filled with an emotion Howie failed to place. “What do you want to do?” he asked.

Howie blinked. He shrugged. He really didn’t know. He was used to the others making decisions for him. Within the past months he had either been too depressed or out of control to make any logical decisions. He shook his head, shrugging again.

A.J. nodded. “That’s what I thought.” He sighed in frustration.

Howie let his eyes drop to the floor. He knew it was impossible not to get annoyed by talking to someone who couldn’t talk back. He sighed. “Sorry,” he mouthed, but A.J. never saw.

<~*~>

Three Months Later…

In the end, A.J. won. He convinced Kevin to let him find a better hospital to take care of Howie after one of the nurses almost sent Howie into a coma using medicine that shouldn’t have even been inside the hospital walls. To Howie’s relief, A.J. managed to find a hospital that not only accepted Howie, but was located in Florida, only two hours away from his family. The new hospital was called St. Gabriella, more beautiful and much quieter than Mercy Hospital had been.

The change was startling. The doctors at Gabriella’s told Howie Mercy Hospital was crazy. They didn’t give him a death day. They told him the infection wasn’t serious at all. It was odd, yes, and rare, but it was by far not a cancerous, lethal infection.

“I like this hospital better than Mercy,” Brian commented one day to A.J. and Kevin as they waited. The waiting rooms at Gabriella were also much nicer. More importantly, there were more things to read, more recent. The magazines there were from the nineties, and not from whenever their great, great, great grandparents were born.

Nick was with Howie. It was a routine check, just to see if the infection was growing or spreading at all. It was another thing at Gabriella the Boys liked that was only occasionally allowed at Mercy. Every time there was a test or check up, the doctors allowed one of Howie’s friends to come with him. They went in shifts. Today was Nick’s turn. Nick didn’t mind hospitals as much as the others did, so he went more often than Brian or Kevin. A.J., of course, went with Howie most of the time. But despite his fear of hospitals, Brian laid it aside to support Howie when he needed it. Kevin did the same.

“We all do, believe me,” A.J. said with a sigh. “I can’t believe we put up with that crap from Mercy for so long.”

Kevin glared at him. “We didn’t know if it would be safe to move him or not, Alex.”

A.J. scowled back. “Oh we didn’t, did we?” he spat.

Kevin and A.J. weren’t getting along, to put it lightly. Kevin was still observing the transition from Mercy to Gabriella as a defeat. Although he was glad Howie wasn’t depressed about dying anymore, he hated to admit that he had been wrong by keeping Howie in Mercy when he needed to be somewhere else. Worst of all, A.J. knew he had won, and he declared it freely. Constantly.

Nick wandered back into the room, Howie beside him. He was smiling softly, the same smile he had before the infection had destroyed the Boys’ way of life. It was reassuring to see that smile again. Howie was a terrible liar. To see that smile let the Boys know they had their brother back in spirit, if not body.

“How’d it go, D?” Brian asked.

That was another difference. They could ask Howie questions without Howie getting offended now.

Howie smiled wider and nodded. Everything was fine.

A.J. shot a smug smirk at Kevin before heading over to Nick and Howie.

Nick was craning his neck to smile at the girl behind the desk. She was on the phone, and looked a little annoyed when she saw him checking her out. She turned her back on him. Nick pouted. He had yet to learn the art of subtlety.

A.J. sighed. “Nickolas, Nickolas, Nickolas,” he said, shaking his head. “How many times do I have to tell you? You wait until she’s looking away to check her out.”

Nick glared at him. “Shut up, A.J.”

A.J. grinned in response. “Ladies first.”

Nick growled.

A.J. rolled his eyes. “How sad,” he said dramatically to Howie, who was trying futilely not to grin at the look on Nick’s face.

Brian tapped Nick on the shoulder. “She’s callin’ you over, man.”

Nick spun around in shock to see the blonde gesturing him over. He grinned at A.J. and swaggered over to the desk proudly.

That was the final straw. A.J., Brian, Kevin, and Howie burst out into hysterics. Nick paused, but shook his head and continued, trying to look as cool as he could.

A.J. wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, still grinning. He looked up to watch Nick approach the desk and chat with her for a moment. She was holding the phone against her shoulder. She didn’t look like she was flirting, and Nick didn’t look all that confident anymore. Finally, Nick, looking disgruntled and annoyed, turned around and motioned his friends over.

A.J. frowned. He didn’t like the look on the nurse’s face. He shot a glimpse at Howie. The Latino’s face had paled slightly. To A.J.’s surprise, Howie moved before any of them. Brian and A.J. followed, Kevin trailing behind distractedly, seemingly caught up in his own predictions.