Chapter 11

Howie shut his mouth instantly, sensing eyes on his back. He slammed his palm on the guitar strings, the quivering notes cut off harshly at the action. He spun around to see A.J. standing in the doorway, his jaw hanging open.

“Y-you, you,” A.J. stammered. He dropped his arms to his sides. His face was the mask of shock. “You got your voice back!” he cried.

Howie smiled warmly. “Looks that way, doesn’t it?” he said softly.

A.J.’s face broke into a stunned smile. “Wha-HOW?” he asked in bewilderment, laughing slightly.

Howie shrugged. “I don’t know… It just…came back.” He nicked a few chords from “What Makes You Different (Makes You Beautiful)” on his guitar, smiling affectionately.

“How long?” A.J. managed to ask through his astonishment.

Howie looked up at his friend. He shook his head with a patient smile and ducked out of the guitar strap. He laid the guitar beside him before standing and walking over to A.J. He laughed. “Dude, you look like you just saw a ghost.”

“More like heard a ghost,” A.J. said softly.

Howie replied with a comforting smile. Both jumped as they heard loud footsteps pounding overhead, most likely one of the guys looking for Howie.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them, and Howie suddenly found himself longing for his voice to be gone. He banished the thought from his mind, shuddering. All of a sudden, he knew what he wanted to ask. He looked at A.J. intently. “Aje?” he said quietly.

A.J. looked at him questioningly.

Howie hesitated. “Did you…have anything to do with…with this tour?” he asked, regretting the words even as he said them.

A.J. turned his head away. “Don’t ask me that, Howie,” he whispered.

Howie ran a hand through his hair, pushing short strands away from his forehead. It was a lost cause, though, since as soon as he took his hand away, they fell right back into place. “That’s what I thought,” he sighed.

A.J. winced. Looking back at Howie, A.J. knew he had struck a nerve. “D, listen, I…” He trailed off, at a loss. What could he say? “I didn’t want to, but Jive wouldn’t leave us alone. They were threatening to cut our contracts and…” He stopped.

The look on Howie’s face made him realize how selfish they had been. By that one glimpse of Howie’s eyes, A.J. knew that Howie would never have agreed to performing without one of his band mates, no matter what the reward or disadvantage, and the group was Howie’s life. He, with the exception of Nick, had the most to lose if the group ever disbanded. A.J. had an alternate persona, and Kevin and Brian had wives and wanted to start families. If the group broke up, Howie and Nick would be left out in the cold, no wives or girlfriends to run to, no other tempting job offer to take. And Howie would have lived a life without Backstreet if one of his band mates were unable to perform with the group.

A.J. let his head drop. “I’m an asshole,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Howie sighed. “Don’t be,” he said.

A.J. looked up at him, disbelief apparent in his eyes. “But D…”

“Aje, let it go,” Howie said, looking away. “Just drop it.”

A.J. could see he was doing more harm than good and shut his mouth. He truly was sorry. A.J. figured Howie wouldn’t be consoled to know A.J. had been the hardest to convince to tour without their mute band mate, so he didn’t say so. He didn’t tell Howie that he only agreed to tour because he was sincerely scared for Nick. Nick’s life was Backstreet, and the threat of it taken away was real. If Nick had Backstreet taken away from him, there would be major problems. So, for Nick, the blonde nobody imagined A.J. looking out for, A.J. agreed.

<~*~>

Kevin woke Brian up by a simple procedure involving A.J.’s discarded water bottle and a smart slap to Brian’s cheek. With a groggy sort of “whuh?” Brian came to and immediately began asking questions.

“Where’s Howie? How long have I been out? Where–”

Kevin cupped a hand over his cousin’s mouth. “A.J.’s looking for him, about ten minutes, I don’t know where Nick is, and don’t ask.” Without a word more, he stood up and brushed the knees of his jeans off, tossing the water bottle astray.

Brian ruffled his hair free of most of the water and got to his feet, looking around. Pleased that he was indeed awake and on earth contrary to where he had dreamt of being, he set off another round of maddening inquiries. “Didn’t Nick go to the vending machines? Shouldn’t we get him? How’d you know what I was goin’ to ask?”

Kevin sighed. “Yes, no, I know you.” He grabbed Brian’s shoulder and shoved him down the steps in front of him. “Let’s go. Move.”

Brian stumbled down the first couple of stairs before getting the hang of the one-foot-and-then-the-next procedure and speeding up. “You sure we shouldn’t look for Nick?” he asked as he jogged down the stairs.

“Yes,” Kevin answered, his voice directly behind Brian.

A sinister thought overcame Brian’s mind. Ya know, Brian, if you just stop… But Brian was too worried about Howie to pay attention this time. I’ll try it later, Mr. Voice, he reassured the voice inside his head. Oh well, your loss, replied Mr. Voice. Brian shook his head. I need help, he thought. Yes you do, sniggered Mr. Voice.

Kevin and Brian searched the hallways outside the arena with something more frenzied than patience. Brian chewed his lip after every empty room they found. Had Howie actually left the arena? After ten minutes, they ran into Fatima and their tour manager.

“Hey,” Fatima said, sounding surprised, “what’s goin’ on?”

Kevin sighed. “We can’t find Howie.”

Their manager’s eyes grew broad. “What do you mean you can’t find him?”

Kevin gave the man a sour look. “What do you think I mean?” He brushed past both Fatima and their manager, leaving Brian to smile apologetically at both of them and hastily follow his cousin.

<~*~>

Nick strode down the hallway, sulking. The vending machine was broken. He kicked an empty soda cup down the hallway angrily.

“I just wanted a frickin’ candy bar,” Nick pouted, his good mood spiraling down into the one-digits.

He wandered a little further before he realized something rather vital. He was lost. He turned around to find a three-way fork. He groaned, throwing his arms up in the air.

“This is just perfect,” he growled. “I choose now not to pay attention to where I’m going.”

He peered down the left tunnel, wincing when he saw absolutely nothing familiar. The same proved to be true with the right and straight passages. He slammed his fist against the wall.

“I. Hate. Mondays!” he wailed, banging his forehead against his fist.

To his surprise and eventual frustration, Nick looked up to see A.J. staring at him from down the hallway, both eyebrows raised above his sunglasses, arms crossed.

“You get weirder and weirder every single day,” A.J. said, shaking his head pityingly.

Nick growled. “Shut up.”

A.J. rolled his eyes.

Howie appeared out of the doorway A.J. stood next to, staying somewhat behind A.J. as he looked at Nick curiously. He didn’t say a word.

Nick kicked himself mentally. Obviously, he thought, he doesn’t have a voice after all…

“Hey Nicky,” Howie said quietly.

Nick’s jaw dropped.

<~*~>

“Nick!” Brian called, cupping his hands to the sides of his mouth. “Howie! A.J.!”

Kevin cursed. “Great, we lost them.” He threw his arms up in irritation. “Now what?”

They had been looking for twenty minutes, unsuccessful in their search for their three missing band mates. With every empty room, Kevin grew angrier and Brian guiltier. As it so happened, the Kentuckian cousins were resting in one of the rooms not far from where Nick, Howie, and A.J. stood. Unfortunately, they didn’t know that.

Brian sighed. “I guess we start from the arena and work our way down again. Maybe they’re back there by now?”

After pausing a moment to consider this, Kevin nodded. “I suppose so. We’re not having any luck down here.”

“Brian!”

Brian’s insides turned cold. For a moment, he forgot how to breathe. A hallucination, he scolded himself. That’s all that was, a very convincing hallucination. Then why, Brian wondered, were Kevin’s eyes so wide?

“Brian?”

Kevin turned his head slightly and Brian gave him a look of disbelief. He wasn’t hallucinating, and neither was Kevin. Without a chance to weigh up what they thought they were hearing, both cousins hastened out to the hallway and down the tunnel.

Soon, A.J., Nick, and Howie came into view. Howie’s eyes were glittering, his smile broad. Nick was smiling in shock, while A.J. simply looked contented.

Brian’s throat ran dry. He shook his head. “Did-did… Was that…?”

Howie nodded. “It was me,” he said softly.

From beside Brian, Kevin’s jaw dropped. “H-how?” he stammered.

Howie beamed. “No idea, but…” He shrugged. “My voice came back.”

Brian grinned and hugged his friend, shutting his eyes gratefully. “Thank God,” he whispered.

Suddenly, Howie cried out and stiffened completely in Brian’s embrace. Startled, Brian moved back, afraid he had done something. Howie fell to his knees and curled into himself, gasping with pain.

A.J. was at his side in an instant, Nick, Brian, and Kevin not far behind. “Shit!” A.J. cried. “What the hell happened?”

Brian shook his head wildly. “I-I don’t know, he just–”

Howie collapsed to the floor. He lay on his side, eyes clamped shut in pain as he trembled vaguely.

Kevin needed no further urging. This was serious, and it was getting worse. “A.J., get him off the floor, Brian, get help, Nick, stay with A.J., I’m gonna go get my cell and get an ambulance.”

His three younger band mates nodded shakily and did what they were told. Brian waited until Kevin saw everything was going as smoothly as possible before dashing towards the arena as fast as he could run.

<~*~>

Howie’s eyes were clouding over with tears by the time Kevin got back. A.J. concentrated on trying to keep Howie still, but every so often, the Latino would start shaking hysterically or spasm in pain. Nick kept back, his eyes wide in fear. A.J. didn’t blame him. He was just as scared as Nick was, if not more. After all, who was closer to the suffering?

Kevin knelt down in front of A.J., frowning apprehensively. He looked down at Howie, obviously chewing the inside of his cheek nervously. “How’s he doin’?” he asked quietly.

A.J. shook his head. “I don’t know. He’s not doing well, I can tell you that.” He winced as Howie groaned and clutched at his chest. “He keeps doing that,” A.J. said, a heavy touch of worry entering his voice.

A deep crease of unease engraved itself into Kevin’s forehead. “That’s not good,” he murmured.

“What’s wrong with him?”

A.J. didn’t have to look at Nick to know it was he who asked. His voice was softer, more fearful, than A.J. ever remembered hearing it.

Kevin answered for both of them. “I don’t know, Nick. I don’t know.”

<~*~>

“Funny…”

Three heads swiveled around to the speaker of the comment in shock, as if stunned that anything could be remotely humorous at a time such as this.

Brian didn’t appear to notice their stares. “A couple months ago I said I liked this waiting room better than the one at Mercy’s…” He sighed, wiping his eyes. “Now I can’t see the difference,” he murmured, his voice cracking.

Kevin wrapped an arm around him comfortingly. “He’s gonna be fine, cuz, don’t worry. He’s survived attacks like these before.”

“They weren’t this bad before,” Nick whispered, burying his head into his arms.

A.J. rested a hand on the younger man’s shoulder, frowning slightly. “He’ll be fine,” he said quietly. “You and I both know that. Right?”

Nick hesitated, but under A.J.’s intensely fearful eyes, he couldn’t help but nod.

<~*~>

A nurse entered the waiting room. Her eyes needed only one sweep of the dismal faces to find the four most miserable. She cleared her throat, catching the attention of the oldest, a raven-haired man in his late twenties perhaps early thirties.

He brought his three friends’ attention to her and together the four of them made their way over to her. She noticed that the three remaining seemed to be flocking around the eldest. She sighed inwardly. There were aspects to her job she found highly distasteful. This was one of them.

“Would you follow me, please?” she said, trying to make her voice as kind as possible.

She figured she had succeeded, as the four singers followed her without resistance or question. Or perhaps it was the fact that they were consumed with worry.

She led them to a desolate room near the emergency room. “If you’ll wait here, the doctor will be with you shortly.”

She waited for a response, but when she received none, she left the four men to wait, feeling pity in her heart for them and whomever they were so worried about.

<~*~>

Doctor Anna Rave studied the portfolio with a trace of disbelief. Never in her entire career had she thought something like this was even remotely possible. How had it been medically performed? Had it been? She shook her head.

“Amazing,” she muttered.

A knock at the door interrupted her ponderings. She beckoned the caller in and peered over the golden rims of her glasses at Nurse Kase.

“The four boys that came with your patient are waiting in room 902, Doctor,” Kase said with a touch of sympathy.

Anna didn’t miss the subtle emotion in her voice. She adjusted her glasses and put the portfolio on her desk, standing to face her friend. “How’re they taking it, Rose?”

Rose shook her head. “Not well at all, Ann. They’re pretty broken up about it.” She examined the portfolio from the doorway. “Is that his condition?”

“It is.”

With interest she was barely able to contain, Rose asked, “May I see?”

Anna smiled apologetically and shook her head. “Sorry, Rose. I have to keep it confidential. I can tell you, though, it’s astounding.” Her eyes glazed over. “Absolutely unbelievable…”

“Anna!”

“Yes!” Anna said, startled out of her reverie. Rose’s anxious face betrayed her suspicions that Anna might not be all there. Anna cleared her throat and snatched up the portfolio. “Right, I’ll be going now…”

Rose smirked. “Good idea, seeing as you might want to keep your job a while longer.”

Anna slapped her shoulder lightly as she walked out of her office. “Shut up, Rose.”

<~*~>

“It wasn’t a heart attack,” A.J. murmured to himself.

Brian frowned. “How do you know?”

A.J. shrugged. “I don’t know. It wasn’t like last time. It was more…” He paused, searching for the right word to use. “Controlled, I guess.” He rubbed his temple. “Hospitals suck,” he growled, his voice raspier than usual.

“Amen,” Kevin muttered.

The door opened, splashing the overly white light on the four singers. A.J. winced against the light, suddenly wishing he hadn’t left his sunglasses back at the arena. Why’d I do that, anyway? A.J. asked himself mindlessly, not really caring.

A woman around thirty-five entered the room holding a portfolio. She shut the door and faced the four men. They could see she was a bit apprehensive about the ordeal, but they were willing to listen to anything she had to say. They would deal with it in their own ways later despite whatever she had to say.

“I’m Doctor Rave,” she said. From her expression, she looked as though she expected a response. She got none.

Rave took a deep breath, and A.J. sunk into his chair. All of a sudden, he didn’t want to know. He wished he could turn away and block her words from his ears, but such a thing was impossible, as he well knew.

“Boys, I’m afraid I have some bad news…”

Nick buried his face into his hands. “Not again,” he whimpered.

Brian leaned over and clutched Nick’s wrist. “Shh, s’okay, buddy.” He looked to Doctor Rave, urging her to reveal whatever she knew before one of them lost it completely.

“Is he…?” A.J. blurted out. As sporadic as the statement was, A.J. found himself unable to finish it. He looked at the doctor intently, knowing she knew exactly what he meant, as did his band mates.

Rave shook her head. “No. He’s…” She pursed her lips. “He’s infected with a virus, boys.”

“We know,” Kevin sighed, rubbing small circles into his forehead wearily. “We’ve heard that five thousand times from everyone else.”

The doctor appeared hesitant. “Well, sir, it appears that…” She shook her head. “As crazy as this is going to sound – and I know it is, I’ve never seen a thing like it medically possible in my entire career – you have to believe it.”

“What the hell is it?” A.J. snapped.

Doctor Rave paused. “A computer virus.”