Chapter 6

           

The next morning

           

Nick sat in the plane, his mind wandering, going through the events that had occurred in the past month. Were they really strong enough to endure it all? He shut his eyes momentarily, allowing his mind to rest for a few minutes. He couldn’t handle the excess stress that was being placed on him. All of the pressure was starting to get to him. He loved what he did; it had just began to get difficult with his family.

           

He reached the airport and Brian and Howie greeted him. He smiled, hoping they couldn’t read the pain and fear he held in his blue eyes.

           

“Hey! How is she,” Howie asked.

 

“She’s okay, she’s going to be just fine,” Nick replied optimistically.

 

“Great,” Brian smiled.

 

“Yeah, you guys didn’t have to come get me. I could have taken a cab.”

 

“Yeah, well we didn’t have anything better to do so we figured we’d come and get ya.”

 

Nick smiled slightly, his face looking somewhat less weary. “Thanks. It means a lot to me…”

 

They walked out to Howie’s car and Nick climbed in the front next to Howie and Brian in the back.

 

Nick sat in the car, buckled his seatbelt and took a deep breath. He could feel his eyes slowly filling up with unshed tears. The salt burning his eyes and blurring his vision.

 

“Howie…I can’t take this anymore!”

 

Howie, who was talking with Brian, turned to Nick. “Oh my God, Nick it’s ok, just relax, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“It’s-it’s…a-ll. m…my fault! I did that to her! I was the one who got her upset, she left…got in…into the car…and she was in the wreck! All because of me,” Nick sobbed.

 

“No…Nick it’s not your fault! I promise, it’s never your fault…it was an accident Nick! How could you help what’s gone on lately, it’s not in your hands Nick, just listen to me.”

 

“I-I can’t help it. I feel so responsible for everything that’s gone on lately. I just can’t take it anymore!”

 

“Whoa, whoa, Nick calm down. Really, it’ll be ok. We can get back and get you to the arena and we can just talk about all of this, all five of us. I promise,” Howie reassured, trying his best to comfort his upset friend.

 

“Thank you Howie,” Nick cried, wiping his tears on his sleeves.

 

“You don’t have to thank me Nick,” Howie responded.

 

Twenty-minutes later, they had reached the arena. None of them had said a word since Nick’s episode. They had all remained quiet, lost in thought.

 

Howie turned to open the door, but stopped when he heard Nick sniffle.

           

“Nick, come on, I thought you were ok now?”

 

Nick met Howie’s gaze and Howie was somewhat shocked at the pallor to his face and the dullness to his eyes. He knew Nick was hesitant about going in and facing it all again, the reluctance was evident in his eyes.

 

Howie bent in towards Nick and pulled him into a hug. “It’s ok,” he whispered quietly,
“it’ll be ok…”

 

“Brian…you still back there,” Howie asked, climbing out of the car.

 

“He doesn’t care about me,” Nick replied bitterly.

 

Brian’s eyes shot open. Had he heard Nick right? Did he say that he didn’t care about him? He glanced out the window and saw Howie heading out and Nick stepping out of the car. Brian quickly tore open the door and chased after Nick.

           

“What did you say Nick?”

 

“You heard me Brian. You don’t care. You didn’t call. You didn’t talk to me at all when you were in the car. I thought we were best friends,” Nick retorted.

 

“NICK! How could you say that,” Brian yelled.

 

“Well Brian, cause it’s the truth!”

Brian stopped, rather stunned at Nick’s behavior. He stood and watched as Nick walked into the arena, meeting security at the door. Howie had already gone in. Brian turned around contemplating his whole situation in his weary mind.

 

He looked over at the door; no one was there. It would have been easy to get away. He could just run. Run away, and no one would ever know. But he couldn’t just run away from all of his problems, that’s what his mom had always taught him.

 

He entered the arena, walking slowly down the corridors, in search of the room that they met in. He cautiously opened the door and saw three of his band mates talking, Nick, Howie, and Kevin. He had heard Howie mention something about a “talk” they were going to have together, to help Nick.

 

“Brian, we can’t find AJ anywhere,” Kevin yelled. “Do you know where he might be?”

 

“No. I haven’t been here…”

 

Kevin rolled his eyes. “I mean before you left, did you talk to him at all?”

 

“No, not really…never talk to him that much anymore,” he replied tiredly. He then glanced over at Nick. Nick’s head was down his gaze resting on the floor. Brian just raised his eyebrows at him, before lowering himself to the couch.

 

“I’ve been searching for him. I’m really worried. He usually doesn’t leave without telling someone. His bodyguard doesn’t even know! And in his condition, I’m just worried. Let’s break up and go looking. We’ve only got two cars, D’s and mine.

 

“Fine, come on Kev, I’ll go with you cause I think Brian and Nick need some time alone,” Howie informed.

           

“Ok, that’s fine,” Kevin responded.

 

“No, come on you guys, I don’t want to be in the same car as him!”

 

“Nick! What’d Brian do to you anyway? Chill out. I didn’t hear him say anything to you at all Nick.”

 

“Exactly D.! He never talks to me anymore…”

 

“All right guys, come on, let’s go,” Kevin ordered. “Come on, you have to remember, we’re looking for AJ!”

 

Kevin and Howie got into the first car and Brian and Nick into the second.

 

“Are you gonna drive or am I,” Nick asked irately.

 

Brian sighed. “You.”

 

“Well I’ve had a rough couple of days, maybe you should.”

Brian rolled his eyes, “well maybe I don’t want to.”

 

“Whatever Brian, I’m sick of you and how inconsiderate you are.”

 

“I’m inconsiderate! I mean, you’d think that you would be a bit easier on me. Look what we just went through? Geez Nick, we were both nearly killed!”

 

“Brian, don’t try’n use sympathy to get out of it! I’ve been sick the same as you have and you don’t ever bother to ask me how I am or anything! And you know what, just get in the car, I’ll drive!”

 

Brian angrily tore open the door and sat down. “You’re just a little baby Nick, that’s all you have always been and all you will ever be!”

 

“What? I’m the baby,” Nick spat, pulling out of the parking lot. “Lately Bri, everyone’s seeming to have problems. I mean seriously, maybe not so much Kev and D., but Aje and me are and you don’t ever care to help. Ever, and come on! Look at Howie, he’s trying to hold us all together, so is Kevin! And all you can do is sit in your room and talk on the phone to Leighanne!”

 

“Nick, you have no idea! Let me out of this car, I don’t wanna listen to this.”

 

“Yeah, you don’t want to listen to it because it’s the truth and I think you know it Brian! You know it!”

 

Brian pushed the door open.

 

“What are you stupid,” Nick hollered. “I’m still driving!”

 

“Let me out! I’ll look for AJ myself!”

 

“Oh, that’s real intelligent! You’ll get mobbed!” As Nick pulled to a stop Brian jumped out of the car.

 

“Brian get in the car! You’re not twelve, come on! We need to look for AJ!”

 

“Go away Nick,” Brian screamed.

 

“Get in the damn car Brian, I’m warning you man, I’ll leave.”

 

“Good go!”

           

Nick sped out, leaving Brian alone on a sidewalk. He slumped to the ground and ran a hand through his hair. He had no idea where he was. How was he supposed to find AJ? He stood up slowly and began walking.

 

                                    *******************************

 

Nick searched and searched for over an hour, trying to concentrate on finding AJ and not worrying about the fight he had with Brian or leaving him alone. But it was his own fault; Brian wouldn’t get back into the car.

           

He finally decided to go to the hotel they were supposedly staying at. He groaned as he realized his bags were still in Howie’s car. He hadn’t taken them out. He didn’t even know if he had a room or not.

 

Nick raced through the hotel and banged on AJ’s door.

 

“What,” AJ replied.

           

“Oh, thank God you’re here, have you seen any of the other guys, and will you let me in?”

           

AJ opened the door.

 

“Jay, you had us so worried. We didn’t know where you were!”

 

“Sorry…I just needed to get out. How are you? How’s B.J.?”

 

“She’s gonna be okay man, thank God we don’t have anything to do tonight, cause I’m not too sure I’d be able to perform.”

 

“Yeah, same here, but we’ve got to tomorrow. Man, I’m glad she’s ok. I was getting worried.”

           

“I know,” Nick replied.

 

“So, you should call Bri, Howie, and Kev. Tell ‘em I’m fine.”

 

“Oh crap.”

 

“What,” AJ responded, glancing up at his friend.

 

“It’s getting dark…and I left Brian out on some street!”

 

“What? Why would you leave Brian on some street Nick!? What were you thinking?”

 

“We got into this huge fight and he got mad and got out. So I drove away. I don’t even remember where…”

 

“Yeah man, but I’m sure he’s got money, he can just take a cab home.”

 

“I guess you’re right, but still. You’d think he would have gotten back already.”

 

“Don’t worry, maybe he’s already in his room.”

 

“Will you go check Jay? I’ll go call the guys.”

 

“Yeah.” AJ walked over to Brian’s door and banged on it several times, no answer.

           

He walked back into the room just as Nick hung up with Kevin.

 

“Is he there,” Nick asked nervously.

 

“No. Sorry man, maybe…”

 

“I gotta go look for him. Oh my God, what if a group of teenagers like attacked him or something!”

 

“It’s not your fault Nick. He’s the one who decided to get out of the car and not get back in, so I’m sure he knew what he was in for.”

 

“He’ll take care of himself. Don’t worry. If he’s not back in an hour or so we’ll do something about it. But, until then, we’re going to not worry about it. He’s twenty-seven. He can take care of himself.”

 

Nick sighed. “I guess…I’m gonna go call home, see how BJ is.”

           

“All right man,” AJ replied. AJ shut his eyes and mumbled, “could this get any worse…”

 

Little did he know, it was about to get far worse then any of them could have ever imagined.