Chapter 5

 

Brian woke up to the all too familiar pain in his head. He opened his eyes and crawled out of bed to the hotel bathroom. He faintly heard the phone ring, but chose to ignore it. Brian winced as a sharp pain sliced through his already upset stomach. He knelt down to the toilet and threw up all of the contents in his stomach. By time he was done, his hands were shaking and his head throbbing even worse then before. He rubbed his eyes and hobbled over to his bed. He dropped into it, shutting his eyes and welcoming the darkness.

 

Brian opened his eyes slowly, not even sure where he was. He glanced at the clock and let out a soft moan. It was eight-thirty. He had nearly slept the whole day away, yet he still felt overwhelmingly tired and exhausted. Reluctantly, Brian climbed out of his bed and made his way slowly to the bathroom.

 

How could I have to throw up again, I didn’t eat anything, Brian thought. After throwing up for the second time, he decided to take a hot shower. He turned the water on the hottest it would go. Hoping that it would some how numb the pain. After taking a twenty-five minute shower, Brian crept back to his room. His phone rang, only intensifying his headache.

 

“Hello,” he answered his voice barely above a whisper. Leighannne, however, didn’t seem to notice.

 

“Brian! Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick. I’ve called all day and you didn’t answer. Do you know how scared I was?!”

 

“Leigh…I’m sorry…I-I.”

 

“I don’t want to hear it Brian! I am sick and tired of your excuses. You’ve been doing this way too often lately! Anymore Brian, I wonder if you still even care about me like you used to! Don’t even bother to come home anytime soon, because I won’t be there!”

 

“Leighanne, no listen! Please?” She then hung up loudly. Brian threw his cell phone down and curled up into his bed. He was going to need a lot of strength.

 

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“AJ? Man are you okay?” Howie asked, only concern in his soft voice.

 

“I’m fine. I just can’t stop thinking about her lately. I just—I just wanna tell her how much I love her. Really, D I do!”

 

“AJ, of course you do, but she knows. Believe me Jay, she knows.”

 

“Howie, if you don’t mind I wanna be alone.”

 

“Sure,” Howie said quietly. He stood up and walked out of AJ’s hotel room. “You seen Brian,” Howie asked before leaving the room. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

 

“No, sorry. I haven’t seen him. Probably in his room.”

 

Howie nodded and left his room. AJ rubbed his eyes tiredly. He would never be able to get to sleep. 

 

“Oh God…Taylor, I love you so much,” he whispered, the tears slowly escaping his large brown eyes, trickling down his cheeks. AJ knelt down to a picture he had in his suitcase. He had carried it around since her death, never really able to let go, despite his counselor’s advice. It was just too hard. “Why did you have to die? Why? I loved you so, so much! More than you’ll ever know!” he said quietly, now sobbing. Unable to contain the fury he held in him, AJ took the picture and flung it across the room. It slammed against the wall and shattered.

 

Brian’s eyes suddenly darted open; he heard a loud noise from the room next to his, AJ’s room.

 

Brian climbed out of his bed and limped out of the room. He banged on AJ’s door. There was no answer. He could hear AJ’s pitiful cries.

 

“AJ,” he said quietly. He knew that he didn’t hear him. He opened the door slowly.

 

“You okay Jay?”

 

“I-I m-miss…I miss her so much!”

 

“I know, I know,” Brian said softly. “But she’s in a better place now. Really, she is, and she’s watching over you.”

           

AJ looked over to his friend. “Bri I’m not a five-year-old!”

 

“Okay, okay. But everything’s gonna be fine. You’ve got to be strong.”

 

AJ shook his head. “No everything’s not going to be okay! She’s dead. She was going to be my wife Brian! My wife, I was going to marry her.”

 

“I know, but there will be others.”

 

“I don’t want anyone else,” AJ retorted. “She’s the only one that’s right for me!”

 

Brian turned his head away in defeat. He didn’t know what else to say to his hurting friend.

 

“Rok, I just want to be alone.”

           

“But—I can help you.”

 

“Nobody understands.”

 

Brian began to feel queasy again, so he stood up. “Oh God,” he moaned silently and raced out of AJ’s room.

 

“Brian. Man, are you okay,” AJ asked standing up and running after him, wiping the tears from his eyes.

 

AJ rushed in and stopped at the bathroom. Brian was vomiting, for the third time.

 

“Hey, you okay?”

 

“No…” he replied, standing up and clutching his stomach.

           

AJ grabbed a wash rag and threw it under the sink and turned the faucet. He turned back to Brian who had his hands over his face.

 

His eyes widened. “Brian? Do you want me to get Kevin?”

           

“No…I’m fine.”

 

“Are you sure,” AJ asked hoarsely.

 

“Uh…your cell phone’s kinda messed up…what happened.”

           

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Fine.”

 

AJ headed back to his room. His mind then filled with thoughts about Taylor, then back to Brian. Not knowing what else to do, AJ crawled back into his bed. He hoped that he could have a peaceful sleep with out dreams about Taylor. “Just one night without nightmares,” he pleaded silently, and fell asleep.