Chapter 3

Nick decided just to head to rehearsals. He angrily threw on some clothes and got into his car. The Backstreet Boys had rehearsals for a couple of hours. He climbed out of his car and walked inside. He headed towards the dressing rooms. “Hey Nick,” Howie said. Nick purposely ignored him and grabbed a coke. Howie and Kevin sat at one of the tables talking; Brian sat away on his cell phone, talking quietly. AJ was nowhere in sight.  

“What’s wrong Nick,” Kevin asked.  

“Nothing Kevin, just leave me alone!” 

“Fine Nick, excuse me for bein’ concerned!” 

Nick ignored him and went to sit down near Brian. Who appeared to be arguing with someone. He watched as Brian hung up the phone and slammed it on a table. Everyone glanced up at him. 

“Sorry….” Brian said softly. 

Everyone’s attention went from Brian to the door as AJ walked in. His eyes were blood shot, and he had dark circles under them. AJ didn’t make eye contact with any of his band mates as he took a seat next to Nick on the couch. No one said anything just kept on with their conversations. Fatima then entered the room, telling them that it was time to rehearse. The five men groaned and stood up heading out.  

The music started and none of them could keep up. AJ found it the hardest. His thoughts lay with the misery he was feeling, not the dance routine. Nick couldn’t keep his attention on dancing either. Thinking about what he was going to do to get his family to listen.  

“Whoa...whoa guys—what’s wrong?” 

None of them answered. They continued to keep their gaze on something other then Fatima. 

“Look, obviously you guys need a little break… we’ll rehearse again tomorrow.”

The five of them simultaneously sighed and headed out to change. 

“Guys… uh is their any way that we can arrange some sort of break anytime soon?” 

“Nick,” Kevin started. “You know that we can’t. We’re still trying to make up for all of those dates we missed when…” He stopped when he saw the angry statement on AJ’s face.  

Nick stormed out. “Brian, maybe you can talk to him,” Howie suggested. 

Brian didn’t respond. 

“What’s up with him?” AJ asked. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s up with anything anymore,” Kevin stated, a slight tinge of bitterness etched in his deep voice. 

Kevin left and Howie turned to AJ. “You alright man?”

“No, man.  It’s been real bad. I’ve been havin’ these nightmares. I don’t know how much more of this I can take D.” 

Howie immediately pulled AJ into a brotherly hug. “I know it’s hard AJ. Believe me I do. You’ve just gotta start to accept it. I mean that maybe you should start to see other people…” 

“No way man, I could never do that. I miss her too much. It’s too soon.”

“Yeah, okay. Just get some rest. Okay?” And they left the arena. 

Nick climbed onto his tour bus and threw his bags down. “Twelve more days, twelve more days,” he muttered to himself, glancing down at his schedule. Christmas break was approaching and they were all anticipating it. Nick settled into his bunk and closed his eyes, hoping for sleep. He awoke to loud banging coming from the front of the bus.  

Kevin greeted him with a frown. “C’mon Nick, we’re at the arena, and we’ve got a meeting.” 

Nick groaned and reluctantly followed him. Couldn’t Kevin be a little bit more sympathetic? It was only a week ago that him and Brian were nearly killed in a snowstorm and he was already bossing him around. The meeting wasn’t supposed to last long, but Nick knew better. When they said it would last fifteen minutes it lasted forty-five.  

Once they had all settled down into a seat, Nick’s cell phone rang. Kevin rolled his eyes, and Nick reached for it. “Hello,” he said wearily. The voice that greeted him was nothing short of frantic. 

“NICK! Nick!” 

Nick’s eyes grew wide and he turned away from everyone. “Mom, what is it?” 

“BJ, she-she was in a car accident.”

It only took a moment for Nick’s brain to register and he went numb in fear. His hands began to sweat and his heart beat rapidly. “Is… is she okay?” his voice low, soft, and contained nothing but fear and emotion.

“I… I don’t know we haven’t…” her voice trailed off and she began sobbing.  

Nick took in a deep breath. “Mom, where are you?” Once given the directions Nick stood up. He wiped away the tears and ran his hand through his blond hair. 

Everyone sat staring at him. Sensing something was wrong, terribly wrong. 

Brian was the first to speak. “Nick, what’s wrong, what happened?”

“BJ, she was in an accident… I have to go.”

“Oh my God Nick… I’m so sorry.”  Brian rushed to his side and pulled him into a tight hug. “She’s going to be fine.”

No longer able to contain the tears that burned his eyes and blurred his vision, Nick broke down. Kevin asked their management to leave, and the four other Backstreet boys tried their best to console their younger band mate. Fifteen minutes later Nick was ready to leave. “I’ve gotta get going to the airport.”

“Do you want someone to take you Nick?” Howie asked kindly. 

Nick was ready to say no, but once he caught sight of his trembling hands and shaking legs he said yes. 

Howie drove him the whole way. He comforted Nick, and told him that BJ was young and that she would pull through just fine. Nick wanted desperately to believe Howie, and he tried, but he couldn’t block out the horrible visions that played through his racing mind.