Chapter 3

The waiter left the table, dinner and drink orders in hand, and the group drifted towards silence once again. AJ rubbed his eyes. There was no way he would be able to sit through an entire meal this way. He shot a look towards Brian, who seemed to understand it perfectly. At his encouraging nod, AJ began a conversation about some of the sights they'd seen around Columbus, but neither Kevin nor Nick contributed a word. After a couple of minutes, the subject was exhausted and he looked helplessly at Howie. The older man shrugged, not having a clue how to get things rolling.

The waiter came back, distributed the drinks, informed them that the appetizers were on their way, and left. Kevin poked at the ice in his glass for a moment, then surprised the rest by speaking.

In a low voice he said, "Look, I need to apologize for blowing up today at practice. I wish I could take it back, but… I can't. I don't really have an excuse to give you." He raised his eyes and glanced at Nick. "I just seem to have a short temper lately."

"So we've noticed," Brian said softly. "Kev, this isn't good. We hate seeing you this way. If there's a problem with something specific, let us know now. We'll change it, make adjustments, whatever it takes. But we can't go on like this."

"I know," came the regret-filled reply.

"So… what is it that's got you on such a short fuse?" he asked. "Or is it a bunch of things?"

Kevin clenched his jaw. "That's just it," he said. "I can't explain it. Not really."

"Keeping it inside, bottled up, isn't going to cut it," Howie said with unusual force. "You need to let us in."

"This is something I have to figure out on my own," Kevin said, a bit of heat in his voice. "It's complicated."

"So complicated that the rest of us, the four of us, couldn't possibly figure out?" AJ shot back.

"I don't want to fight," Kevin said, his face getting a bit of color. "I just wanted to say I was sorry."

Brian studied his cousin for a moment. "Okay, Kev. Apology accepted."

AJ scowled but added his agreement, as did Howie. Notably silent was Nick.

Finally, without looking up from his water glass, he said, "No prob."

The simple statement, and its soft delivery, sent a pang of guilt through Kevin's chest. For some reason, Nick had taken the brunt of his anger; he had every right to remain upset. But there wasn't a trace of hatred in his voice. Instead, all Kevin could hear was sadness.

He wanted to say something- anything- to the blond, but lacked both the courage and inspiration. What could he say, after the way he'd treated him? How could he explain something he didn't understand himself?

"Kev," Howie said, cutting into his thoughts, "the apology isn’t the important issue here. The problem you're having is. We're flying blind, and getting nowhere."

"If it were any of us, you'd ask the same thing," Brian pointed out.

"I just need to figure things out first, is all. When I'm ready, I'll talk about it. Until then, I need time." Kevin said the words in his best 'no argument' tone, something annoyingly familiar to the others.

"Fine," AJ said. "But you better be sure you don't let it go too far."

His warning was emphasized with a look towards Nick's distant gaze. Kevin gave the smallest of nods in understanding.

The moment was interrupted by the arrival of their appetizers, and soon the subject moved onto safer, more trivial ground. Kevin only half paid attention as the others talked. Occasionally he looked over at Nick, but the younger man's eyes remained locked on the table. He watched as the pile of mozzarella sticks, normally Nick's favorite, grew cold as they were ignored. Finally, Brian reached over and made a production of sneaking a stick from the plate, hoping to get a reaction. When it came, it wasn't what he expected.

"Go ahead, Bri. Take them." Nick pushed the plate over. Then he cleared his throat and said, "Guys, I need to go see about something for a minute. I'll be right back." He got up from his seat.

"Where are you going?" Brian asked at once.

"I'll be right back," came the elusive reply.

"I'll come with you," Howie said as he stood. He had been watching Nick's pensive mood and had guessed what was going on.

"Howie, I don't need-"

"We could all come," AJ said pointedly. He watched as Nick's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Fine," he said, then turned from the table.

Howie matched his step and together they headed through the restaurant.

AJ muttered something under his breath and Brian rubbed his eyes. Kevin, completely mystified, finally spoke.

"What was that about?"

"You know, Kev," AJ said in a somewhat tired voice, "you have a bad habit of underestimating that kid."

"Underestimating?"

"You don't have a clue how much this is affecting him, do you?" came the question. "You know he always takes things way too personally."

Kevin took a steadying breath and said, "I know he's probably still mad about yesterday-"

"Mad?" AJ asked. He shook his head and gave the dark-haired man a long look. "He's not mad, Kev. He's worried. Like the rest of us are worried."

A frown. Then, "But where did he just go, and why did Howie leave with him?"

Brian sighed. "He went to cancel some plans, and Howie went along to make sure he didn't."

"I don't understand," Kevin said.

"It'll be up to Nick to explain," Brian declared. "You're gonna have to ask him about it."

**********

"Nick, hold up," Howie said, his shorter legs not able to keep up the pace Nick set.

"Look, D, this isn't going to wash. It's better I trash the whole idea now-"

"You can't cancel the plans," Howie stated flatly, catching his companion's arm. He pulled him to a stop.

"I can, and I will," Nick said in a low voice. "The whole thing was stupid, I was an idiot to think anything I could do would make a difference."

"Are you serious? What happened today proves just how much Kevin needs it!"

"So what's gonna happen tonight?" he said bitterly. "You think Kevin is gonna do a 180 now, especially after what happened in the hall? It's better that I cancel the arrangements and save everyone a lot of grief."

"Nick, listen. You have to try."

"You don't understand," Nick said as he ran a hand through his hair. "I blew it, D. Kevin didn't go ballistic about the bear thing, but that doesn't mean he isn't mad underneath. There isn't a chance in hell he'll want to go along with it."

"You don't know that for sure. Look, I'll bring up the subject of what we're planning on doing tonight, and you can see what he says."

"But-"

"But nothing. It's not like you to give up, Frack. Not on something this important."

After a moment, Nick looked into sincere brown eyes and realized Howie was right. He couldn't just give up without even trying. Even if things didn't work out, at least he could put in the effort.

"All right," he relented. "I'll try."

Howie smiled and clapped him on the back. "That's all you can do. Now, let's get back before they eat all the good stuff."

With a wry smile, Nick nodded and the two retraced their steps.

**********

Although Kevin was consumed with curiosity, he held his questions and simply watched and listened to Nick. Whatever had happened had shifted the blond's mood, and now he was more talkative with the others. He still avoided prolonged eye contact with the oldest, but that was understandable, considering. Finally the conversation turned to the subject he wanted most to avoid: the evening's activities.

"I'm tellin' ya," AJ said enthusiastically, "this chick was hot. While you were buying that doll-"

"It's a bear!" Brian protested.

"Yeah, whatever," AJ continued, "she was telling me about a couple of clubs that sounded terrific. We need a night out, and who knows when we'll get another chance!"

"Did you see this supposedly 'hot chick', Howie?" Brian asked skeptically.

"Yeah, she was definitely worth a second look," he said with a grin. "And she did say her and a bunch of her friends were going club hopping tonight."

"It would be good to sample the local color," mused Brian.

"Count me in," Howie said. "It sounds fun."

"Me too," Brian said with a grin. "How about you, Kev? You can come along and we can keep these two in line."

"Ah, no," Kevin answered. "I'm not in a very social mood tonight."

"It'll be good for you," AJ declared. "A little music, a little dancing, you know… fun."

"I don't think so," he said, shaking his head.

Howie gave a slight frown and said, "Hey, wait a minute, guys. This isn't fair to Nick… maybe we should stick around the Suite and watch movies or something."

"Don't bother," Nick said. "I… I have plans of my own." He seemed uncertain, and didn't continue right away.

"What kind of plans?" Brian asked, curious.

"Well…" He stopped, chewing on his bottom lip and suddenly becoming quite interested in his napkin.

"Well what?" encouraged Howie.

"See, it's a full moon, and there's going to be a total lunar eclipse tonight. I read this article about it… it's kinda rare, and I thought it would be neat to watch it. The next one isn't for another three years."

There was surprise on all four faces around him. Finally, Brian broke the silence and spoke.

"I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing, Frack."

"The science part of it took me a little time to understand," he admitted. "I just thought that with the weather so perfect, and the timing just right, it would be a shame to miss it." He finally looked up. "You guys want to come?"

"Hmm," AJ said, pretending to ponder something, "let me see. Clubbing, where there will be lots of hot babes and loud music, or watching the moon go dark. Choices, choices…" He gave a smirk and said, "Sorry, Nicky boy, there's no contest. You can have the moon."

"Where are you going to watch the eclipse from?" came Kevin's soft drawl.

"Uh, the roof. The view should be clear from there. I got permission from the hotel manager already." Nick forced himself to look directly at his oldest brother. "Are you… interested?"

Kevin leaned back. "I've got some schedules to go over," he said by way of answer. "Seems like tonight would be a perfect time for that."

Nick tried, but he couldn't quite hide the look of utter disappointment that flickered across his face. "I see," he said, fighting to keep his voice even.

"Jeeze, Kev, schedules? As opposed to club hopping? Even staring at the moon would be better than paperwork," AJ criticized.

"To each their own, I suppose," Howie said diplomatically.

"So about how long does this eclipse last?" Brian asked.

"The whole thing is about an hour. It starts around ten o'clock." He darted a glance at Kevin, but looked back at his best friend. "I think it would be fun to see it with someone."

AJ shook his head. "Sorry, Frack. Count the three of us out. By ten we'll have already been to at least two clubs," he said. "The action gets started early here, or so I'm told."

"I hope y'all don't plan on staying out too late," Kevin said. "We've got rehearsal and sound check at half past nine, followed by an interview, a promotional meeting, and some photo op sessions."

"Don't worry, Dad," AJ said in a childish voice. "We'll be good Boys and make curfew."

"We'll be back around one," Howie promised, playfully hitting AJ in the arm.

"Well, Frack, it looks like you're on your own," Brian said.

"Yeah," Nick replied. "Just me and the moon."

Kevin couldn't help but hear the slightly wistful tone in his voice, and he wondered why the eclipse was so important to Nick. Then, with a mental shrug, he dismissed the question. He had his own problems to contemplate tonight.

Dinner finished smoothly, and soon the five were headed back to the Suite. While the mood was much better on the ride up, Nick was notably withdrawn. It didn't go unnoticed.

"Well, Frack, it's a little too early to head out… what say we play a couple of rounds?" Brian said. "I almost beat you yesterday, remember…"

Nick raised an eyebrow and conjured a small smile. "I had you by a mile. The only time you ever come close to beating me in a game is when I'm deathly ill or feeling really generous."

"Sounds like a challenge to me," AJ said with a grin.

**********

Kevin resisted the inclination to retreat to his room and forced himself to remain in one of the wingback chairs by the couch. While Brian and Nick began a game session, Howie produced his laptop and activated it; soon, he and AJ were fully focused on whatever was on the screen. From AJ's snickers, Kevin could only imagine what those two were into.

A few minutes passed before Brian let out a whoop of triumph over something, almost immediately followed by his incredulous cry of protest. Kevin leaned back and listened to the good-natured argument that ensued: Brian, accusing the blond of cheating, Nick insisting it was sheer skill and ability that had snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. Kevin sighed quietly. How many times had he heard the same banter over the years? He couldn't remember a day they had spent together that Nick hadn't been gaming. He wondered how it kept the younger man's interest. How many games had he played? A thousand, two thousand? Five? More? Such things failed to captured his interest, and he couldn't imagine what Nick saw in it.

Of course, he reflected, Nick was still a kid, and such things would hold an appeal. It was something that he'd been doing ever since the group had formed; it was probably more a habit now than anything else. After all, what else would Nick do while confined to the bus or a hotel room because of his age? Even now he was underage for most of the clubs, and wouldn't be legal to drink for months yet. He supposed he should feel empathy for the younger Boy.

Kevin shifted in his chair and caught the gleam in azure eyes as Nick fought for a win. There was a light in those eyes, an excited passion that transformed his features. The game was capturing his interest completely, and it was obvious he was enjoying the battle. Suddenly, all thoughts of feeling sorry for Nick vanished. Kevin blinked several times as two questions struck: When was the last time he had enjoyed anything that much? And, when had he been able to lose himself so totally and really let go?

The realization that he couldn't remember filled him with despair. While he'd naturally assumed the 'responsible' role in the group from the moment they had gotten together, he'd always managed to have his fair share of fun along the way. But…

Somehow that had stopped. Really, it didn't make sense. The earlier years had been much more of a struggle; now, they had their pick of where to go and what to perform, and were welcomed by thousands of fans everywhere they played. Yet, he wasn't half as happy as he'd once been. What, exactly, had changed?

He let out a quiet, confused sigh. It was a puzzle that he was no closer to solving now than he had been a week… or a month… ago.

**********

Howie nudged his partner and gestured over to the chair Kevin occupied. Both saw the slight frown and the distant look on his face, something that had appeared all too often lately. Kevin was going into silent mode, withdrawing from his friends and brothers yet again.

AJ bit back a sound of frustration. Suddenly, he didn't have much confidence that Nick's plan would work out; with Kevin looking the way he did, it wouldn't be long before the dark-haired man made excuses to leave the others and retreat away from their company. It was a pattern that had been played out way too often.

He glanced at Nick and Brian, who were finishing up whatever game they'd been playing. It was almost time to leave, and for some reason he wanted to get out of the Suite before Kevin's retreat. It only took a look at Howie to get the message across, and his partner quickly shut down his laptop without protest.

Surprisingly enough it was Brian who gave the final victory shout. He jumped up from the couch and whooped a bit, then took a bow in front of imagined cheering fans.

Nick gave a loud groan but tempered it with a grin. Good naturedly he said, "Sheesh, nothing like a humble winner, Bri."

"Capital 'w' in Winner," Brian said smugly. "You never had a chance."

"Gimme a break," Nick said, getting up and stretching. "I have to let you win once in a while or you pout like a baby and won't play anymore."

Brian stopped his actions and crossed his arms. "You are not telling me you let me win!"

"Like I said…"

"No, no, no! I won, I beat you, you lost, you are the lo-ser," he said in a sing-song voice.

Nick rolled his eyes, but laughed. "Whatever, Frick."

Howie shook his head in amusement. "Well, if you're done gloating, Brian, it's about time to head out."

"That's right," AJ added, "the fine ladies of Columbus are waiting!"

"Don't tell that to Leigh," Brian said. "She might be jealous!"

AJ made a 'whip-snap' sound, which caused Nick and Howie to snicker. Even Kevin cracked a smile.

"Yeah, right. You've got 'married man' stamped across your face. It's that beaten, whipped look that every woman recognizes instantly. You're safe." AJ chuckled at the look of consternation that crossed Brian's face.

"Man," he mumbled as he made his way to his room, "no respect… I just get no respect around here…"

Howie grinned and shook his head, knowing Brian wasn't really offended. "AJ, you ready to go?"

"Me?" he said, puffing out his chest. "I'm always r-"

"AJ!" said Howie and Nick simultaneously, cutting his words off.

"Sheesh," he mumbled. "It's not like I say it-"

"All the time," Howie finished. "Yes, you do. Come on, this is your last chance to primp in front of the mirror."

"Hey, I do not primp!" he protested loudly. "Making sure you look your best is not primping!"

"Yeah," Howie teased, "but doing it for half an hour is." He ducked as AJ tried to punch him on the shoulder, then took off down the hall.

Nick grinned after the pair. For a moment, he wished he was going clubbing with them… age limitation or no. But the grin faded with a sigh as he realized that wishing for something didn't change reality. As soon as the three left, he would be stuck in the Suite with Kevin… and from the look on the oldest Boy's face, he knew it would be a long, silent evening.

Although he wasn't thirsty, he moved towards the kitchenette to get a soda… something to occupy the suddenly awkward moment. He could feel Kevin's eyes on him, but he couldn't think of a thing to say that wouldn't sound lame or forced. He lingered by the fridge as long as he could before going back to the living room.

Not knowing what else to do, he sat back on the couch and set his soda on the coffee table. He picked up the magazine that had started it all less than a day ago and tried to conjure up some interest in the words. Really, the lunar eclipse was a neat phenomenon, one he'd never seen. Well, it looked like he'd be watching it tonight, if for no other reason than to avoid the troubled emerald gaze of his brother. Maybe the time on the roof, alone, would allow him come up with another, better way to help Kevin.

He checked the clock on the VCR and realized that he had an hour and fifteen to kill before celestial show time. What in the world was he going to do until then? Surely not sit there as the tension grew in the room. He supposed he could play some solo games, but it was never as fun as when he had a partner. He had no interesting paperbacks to read, and couldn't think of a single person he wanted to talk with on the phone even if it was just to kill time. He wasn't tired, didn't feel like unpacking, and wasn't interested in whatever the television had to offer. There were movies to use in the VCR, but nothing sounded appealing.

The abrupt ringing of the room phone made him jump slightly, and after realizing that Kevin was making no move to pick it up, he lifted the receiver.

"Hello?" he said uncertainly.

"Hello, this is Mr. Shannon at the front desk," came the familiar voice. "I'd like to speak to Nick Carter, please."

"This is me," he replied.

"Good, good. I just called to tell your request has been filled and everything is ready for you on the roof. If you take the private elevator up to the top level, you'll find the access door unlocked. Is there anything else you require?"

"Were you able to get the telescope and all?" Nick asked.

"Yes, it's a beautiful piece of equipment. You should see the eclipse with crystal clarity."

"Great. I really appreciate it, Mr. Shannon. Thanks."

"My pleasure. Now, if you need anything else, just give the desk a ring. Enjoy your evening."

"Thanks, you too," he said, then hung up the phone. He sat back, lost in his thoughts.

"You got them to put a telescope on the roof for you?" came the slightly surprised question a moment later.

Nick blinked, then regarded Kevin. "Yeah, sure."

"Is it… yours?"

He frowned at the odd tone. "Yeah, Kev, I paid for it. With my own money," he added distinctly.

Kevin crossed his arms. "What in the world are you going to do with a telescope after tonight? We don't exactly have a ton of room on the bus-"

Nick's frown deepened. "I arranged to have it donated to a local elementary school. Mr. Shannon recommended one."

"Donated?"

"Yeah, you know, give it away as a gift. My school had one, I thought it would be cool." He shrugged, then looked away.

"That's…" Kevin cleared his throat. "That's a good idea." He said it as if he were truly surprised.

Nick didn't respond. He couldn't decide if he should be offended or pleased. The question was forgotten as AJ, Howie and Brian emerged, ready for a night of clubbing.

"Come on, Kev," Brian said as he clapped his cousin on the shoulder. "Last chance to join us. It would do you some good to get a bit of fresh air and fun."

"Fresh air, in a club? Not likely," came the answer. "Go. Have a good time. Just remember to be back at a reasonable hour."

"Yah, yah," said AJ with a wave of dismissal.

Howie shook his head and said, "Have fun, you guys. Enjoy the eclipse," he added with a look directly at Kevin.

"Bye," Nick said, watching as his three brothers left the Suite. He was trying to think of what to do next when Kevin solved the problem with a comment.

"Well, I'm going to work on those schedules. When is that eclipse thing again?"

"It starts at 10."

"Right. Well, have fun."

Nick was glad his face was turned away from Kevin's, because he couldn't prevent the look of disappointment that crossed it. His shoulders slumped as he listened to the other man walk across the room and shut the door behind him.

There was a time, not so long ago, that he might have allowed tears of frustration to roll down his cheeks… but not now. Any tears, if and when he did shed them, would be because of much graver circumstances. After all, he wasn't a child. Still, the pain in his chest was sharp and strong and he needed to vent somehow. Clenching his jaw, he snatched the controller from where he'd dropped it and started a game.

**********

Barely a minute after he'd gone into his room, Kevin could hear familiar sounds coming from beyond his door: Nick was playing a video game. Again.

It was too bad the others had gone. He had no interest in keeping Nick entertained until his little roof excursion; he didn't care for video games, and Nick wasn't the most riveting conversationalist in the world. He was curious about the entire eclipse thing. It didn't seem like something the youngest Boy would really be interested in, but any questions would have to wait. He had responsibilities to tend to at the moment.

Kevin opened his travel planner and spread out schedules, itinerary, and tour notes on the small desk. He also retrieved a small packet of paperwork that needed his attention and quickly immersed himself in the details. Paperwork was normally a dreaded, but necessary, part of his job, but tonight he was grateful for the diversion. He read through several contracts, put his signature on a few more forms, and made some notes to share with the other Boys later. The latest sales and financial reports looked good; the guys should be happy to hear that, not that they were living hand to mouth these days. It was nice to see their hard work paying off.

He finally leaned back in his chair, surprised when he looked at the clock: he'd been busy for forty-five minutes. With all the paperwork finished, and the tour details practically memorized, he had no excuses to remain in his room. He certainly wasn't tired; the only television in the Suite was the main one, in the living room. The phone held no appeal either. After the last disturbing talk with Kris, he had no desire to try again. Really, there was no reason to stay.

It was then he noticed the silence that came from the outer room. Gone were the sounds of on-screen action, miniature explosions and scripted drama. Even normal television sounds were absent; obviously Nick had tired of playing. Kevin wondered idly when that had happened. Noting the time again, he figured that his bandmate had gone up early to the roof.

He opened the door and made his way to the common area, fully expecting to find the Suite empty. Instead, he saw a familiar blond head bent over something at the kitchen table. A few steps forward revealed Nick taking notes from an opened magazine, a decidedly odd sight.

A pair of azure eyes glanced up and caught his gaze. In their depths was a mix of surprise, hope, and wariness.

"Hey," came the neutral greeting.

"Hey," Kevin replied awkwardly. He suddenly wanted to turn around and go back to his room, but fought the pull. "Ah, what are you doing?" he said, nodding at the pad of paper covered with writing.

"Just taking some notes from this magazine. Some things I want to look up on the Net the next time I get a chance."

"About the eclipse?"

"Among other things, yeah."

When Nick fell silent, Kevin shifted uncomfortably and walked over to the fridge. He retrieved a cold soda and leaned against the counter.

"Kind of unusual, isn't it?"

"The eclipse?" Nick asked. Could Kevin actually be interested? Hope blossomed in his chest. "Like I said before, it only happens under rare circumstances. The next one-"

"I wasn't talking about the eclipse," Kevin interrupted. "I was referring to you taking notes like that."

Nick blinked. A frown crossed his face.

"I do know how to read and write, Kev."

"I know that," he said, wondering at the suppressed anger in the younger man's voice. "That's not what I meant. I just find it unusual to see you wrapped up in something so… so…"

"Intellectual?" Nick provided bitterly.

"Well, yeah."

"Jeeze, thanks, Kev."

"I didn't mean it like that," Kevin began explaining.

"Sure you did," Nick shot back as he stood abruptly. "God forbid I have any interests besides video games and practical jokes."

Kevin winced as the words he'd hurled at the younger Boy earlier were thrown back in his face.

"Look, I'm sorry I said that before," he said, truly not wanting to argue.

"Me too. I'm sorry for a lot of things." Angrily, Nick gathered his papers and pushed in his chair. He stormed down the hallway and disappeared into his room.

Kevin rubbed his eyes. He had messed up royally… how many times did that make in one day? Too many, came the silent answer. Rewinding the conversation, he realized how condescending he must have sounded to Nick. He hadn't meant to hurt his younger brother, far from it. He only wanted to ease the tension between them by starting a conversation…

The slam of a bedroom door gave him only a few seconds warning before Nick strode through the living room once again. He shrugged on his coat as he moved, not looking in Kevin's direction.

"Nick, wait," Kevin said. "I know you're angry, but we should talk about it-"

The tall blond stopped in his tracks and spun on his bandmate. His blue eyes sparked with emotion.

"That's exactly it," he hissed. "We should. But that's not happening, is it Kev? Friendship is supposed to be a two-way street." He paused. "It's obvious you don't trust me with your problems, don't think I'm capable of understanding anything. You've been avoiding me and the others for way too long, so I'm going to make it easy on you tonight. I'm leaving. You can have the whole Suite to yourself."

"Wait," he said, feeling anger rise rapidly. "You can't just leave like-"

"I can’t?” he interrupted. “You're so smart, Kevin… tell me, how do you spell the word 'hypocrite'?" He didn't wait for an answer.

Kevin stared at the door, the sound of its hard closing echoing in his mind. A wave of angered frustration swept over him, and he slammed a fist on the counter. The resulting pain helped focus his thoughts. Muttering a curse, he ran a hand through his hair, wondering what he'd done.

He took three steps towards the door before he stopped himself. Although he knew he'd have to talk with Nick and smooth things over, now was not the time to try. Not when he was angry, not when his temper was at the breaking point. He needed to cool off a bit, regain his composure before confronting the blond. The last thing he could afford to do was make the situation worse.

**********

Nick found himself on the roof without ever registering the journey. Once his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he saw that the hotel had, indeed, fulfilled his request.

He walked over to the telescope and ran a hand along its smooth surface. It was a beautiful instrument, and the thought that after the eclipse it would be enjoyed by schoolchildren for years to come was gratifying. For a moment, the cutting pain in his chest eased a bit as he thought back to his early memories of school. Mrs. Gilcrest, his fifth grade teacher, had loved teaching about the stars and constellations. He recalled a special night-time field trip, with both parents and kids, to a secluded spot where a special telescope had been set up. Each child had taken a turn at the scope, amazed to see both planets and stars so clearly. It had been like magic.

Nick shook his head and sighed.

He'd had such great hopes for the evening. The timing had been perfect, the weather, cooperative… even the arrangements had gone without a hitch. But then he'd screwed things up not once, but twice. He let his anger get the best of him, and had ruined the entire thing. He glanced at his watch: in fifteen minutes, his cell phone would ring, and he'd have to deliver the disappointing news. That was the worst part. She'd seemed so enthusiastic…

He walked to the edge of the roof and looked at the view in front of him. Tiny pinpoints of light glittered quietly in the darkness, scattered as far as the eye could see. It was beautiful, but he found no comfort in the display. The ache in his chest returned, and he suddenly felt a chill. He knew it had nothing to do with the temperature, but he drew his outrider coat closer anyway.

Feeling an enormous sense of failure, he walked back to the telescope and the chair next to it. He sat down after a moment and rubbed at the tension in the back of his neck. Leaning back, he shut his eyes, trying to let his thoughts settle.

Slowly the tightness faded and the pain from his argument with Kevin eased a bit. He looked up, finally, at the bright moon above him and let out a long sigh. Maybe he'd expected too much. After all, who was he to think he could really help his much older and more experienced brother? In that, Kev was probably right. What could he know about what was troubling the older man? His theories seemed to fly away into the night sky. He'd been foolish to think he could actually know what was going on.

It would be up to the others, he realized. He'd lost his chance to help Kevin.

Knowing he would be sole witness to the eclipse, he leaned forward and began adjusting the scope. The moon jumped into view and he fine-tuned the focus so that every lunar mountain and valley was as crisp as possible. Despite the circumstance, he felt a bit of interest at the impending event. It would have been much better had his plan worked out, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

He was so involved with the view that he never heard the door open behind him.

**********