Bob
followed Jane’s trail nicely. He had easily pinpointed her location and
drove his rental car to the hotel. Getting her room number wasn’t very
hard either. She was registered under her maiden name. Bob walked to the
door and knocked on the door swiftly. He heard someone walk to the door,
he stood patiently waiting to be let in, or yelled at whichever came first.
Slowly the door came open. Leslie stood behind the door staring at him.
“Hi
Leslie,” Bob smiled at her, he hadn’t seen his middle daughter in months, “How
have you been?”
Leslie
narrowed her eyes at him and stepped back to let him into the room. Bob
continued to smile at her, hoping to break her down, but winning himself no
points. Jane was on the phone, “So he is there?”
“Who
are you talking to Jane?” Bob came behind Jane smoothly, causing her to jump.
She glared at him, “How did you find me?”
“It
wasn’t very hard Janie. Who is that you’re talking to? Is it Aaron, or one of
Nick’s friends?”
Jane
gave him a blank expression, “Send him here.”
Bob
stood watching his ex-wife for a second, then he grabbed the phone. Jane yelled
and reached for it back. “Who is this? Where is Aaron?”
“Who
the hell is this? What happened to Jane?”
“Alexander
McLean?” Bob questioned, “Do you have my son? Did he call you to come kidnap
him?”
“You
don’t call people to kidnap you Bob,” AJ’s voice snarled, “What do you keep
doing that drives your kids away from you Bob?”
“Where
are you?”
“Ask
your wifey.. Er- I mean ex-wifey. By the way, how’s the mistress?”
Bob
growled, “You insubordinate disrespectful...”
“Disrespectful?”
AJ laughed humorlessly, “Bob, don’t be a hypocrite.”
“Where
is my son?”
“Ask...your...wife,”
AJ said curtly before hanging up.
“What
happened?” Howie stared at AJ who had slammed down the receiver angrily.
“Bob
Carter.”
“Oh,”
Howie said flatly, “I suppose he wants Aaron back, huh?”
“Yeah,”
AJ nodded, “I guess we’d better prepare for a visit from Bob tonight too.”
Howie
groaned, “Maybe we should just take Aaron back and avoid a confrontation. We
don’t need Nick to get all upset again.”
AJ
frowned, “Yeah... but Howie have you seen him and Aaron together? Aaron is like
some sort of wonderful medicine for him.”
Howie
nodded, “I’ve seen them. But I’ve also seen Nick when one of his parents shows
up... and Bob is the one he resents the most.”
“Bob
is the one I resent the most,” AJ growled, “I swear if I see him I’ll kick his
ass.”
Howie
snickered, “That’s what Kevin said he would do to your Dad if he had the nerve
to show his face.”
AJ
grinned, “Really? He said that?”
“Oh
yeah, he said he wanted to break your dad over his knee like a stick,” Howie
said.
“I’d
love to see it,” AJ said with a smile, “I wonder if he can do a two-for-one and
break Nick’s dad too.”
Howie
smiled back, “Yeah, that’d be great. I’ll have to buy more popcorn though.”
“You’re
crazy D,” AJ laughed. He turned to go up the stairs to warn everyone
about the Bob Carter Threat.
“So’s
he getting better?” Aaron was asking Brian. He sat on the bed beside his
brother’s sleeping form. Every now and again Nick’s hand would squeeze
Aaron’s and Aaron would smile and rub his brother’s back to let him know he was
still there.
“He
was trying to eat earlier, but Jane ruined all chances of that happening
tonight,” Brian sighed, “He hadn’t thrown up in a few days. He just started
again after your mother left.
Aaron’s
eyes blazed, “Damn them both.”
Brian’s
eyes widened, he’d never heard Aaron use such harsh language, but after
spending an hour with him, he’d realized there was much he hadn’t heard.
Aaron was a different person than the last time Brian had spent time with
him. He had grown up so much Brian barely knew what to say to him
anymore. He wasn’t bubbly and carefree, but serious and cautious.
His concern for his older siblings was touching. He worried not
only for Nick, but for BJ, and Leslie. He worried about his twin still in
California staying with friends. He had watched his whole family fall apart
before his very eyes, and for a while he felt he was the only person in the
world who cared enough to want to fix it.
“They
just don’t understand how much damage they’ve done,” Aaron was saying, “Dad
says he’s sorry, and he’s cries and complains that Nick won’t talk to him...
But then if you really think about how hard he has actually tried to talk
to him you can’t feel sorry for the guy. If he really wanted to talk to
Nick, he could have. He just didn’t feel like being bothered. He knew
Nick was going through a rough time, and he didn’t want to be tangled up in
that. He figured Nick could get over it himself, and once he started acting and
looking like himself again, he would try to weasel his way back in. I
mean that’s not what he said, but you know that’s what he would have done!”
Brian
nodded, “And how do you feel about me Aaron, about us? We weren’t very
good friends...”
“I
hated you guys for awhile too. Nick spent more time you with than me, so I
thought I could count on you guys to see something was wrong, to help him. But
you were like Mom, you didn’t see him. But I couldn’t hate you like I
hated Mom, because I knew you guys didn’t see him because maybe you were
preoccupied, you had your own problems. None of you seemed too happy during the
tour. I know you fell on hard times... Mom, just didn’t want to see any
faults in her kids. And then any she did see, she saw them as an axe to hack at
Dad with, not an actual problem for her to deal with. My brother and
sisters transformed into different beings Brian. It felt like I
stayed the same, but they all changed. But now as I sit here and talk to
you, or look in BJ or Nick’s eyes...I feel like I’ve changed too. Have I
changed Brian, am I different?”
Brian
blinked and sized the twelve year old up. Yes, Aaron, you’re different Brian
wanted to yell. You’ve turned into a little old man. But he didn’t
want to hurt his feelings. Aaron was incredible. Instead of rebelling
like his siblings he instead grew older. He seemed to be the primary caretaker
in the family now. Sure, he’d cried when he first arrived and saw Nick and BJ,
but immediately afterward he took charge. He questioned BJ about her
eating habits, had she been eating properly. Sometimes when she worried,
she didn’t. He’d sat down and talked with Nick. Nothing too deep, he seemed
to know just what to say to put Nick at ease and get him to sleep soundly.
“You’ve
grown up Aaron,” Brian said finally, “You’re not the little boy that I remember
from last year.”
Aaron
smiled, “Everyone says that I’ll have an ulcer by the time I’m 16. These guys
will kill me.” He nodded towards Nick, but it was also apparent on
his face that he included all his siblings in “these guys.” He gave Nick
another pat, “But I love em’ all, and they’re what holds me together. I could
easily fall apart like all of them have, but what would happen to them? Who’s
gonna help BJ up the stairs when she comes in too sloshed to think straight
late at night... Who’s gonna convince Mom to let her stay? Who’s gonna
cover Leslie up at night when she collapses on the couch, at her desk, on a
chair so tired from working herself so hard she couldn’t even make it to bed or
get undressed. Who’s gonna nag Angel to eat decent meals. She’s trying to
make herself into a Barbie doll Brian. A Barbie! She thinks she needs to
lose 10 pounds. She’s starting to take after Nick, and it scares me.
I mean, she’s not doing drugs, but I think she’s heading down the fast
lane into getting an eating disorder.” Aaron ran his hands through his
blond hair, “Bri, I’ve got gray hair.”
Brian
snickered but quickly stifled it as he saw Aaron’s solemn expression, “You have
gray hair?”
“Yeah,”
Aaron said sadly, “A 12 year old is not supposed to have gray hair, is he
Brian?”
Brian
shook his head.
“Well
Dad’s the first one that noticed it and made the same comment. Well Dad, how
the HELL do you think they got there huh? I’m doing your damn job! Yours!
And I’m failing at it... if you would only try, if you would only act like you
cared for a split second... things wouldn’t be this bad. Nick and BJ
wouldn’t be so screwed up. Leslie would smile... Angel would... Angel would
be my twin sister again!” Aaron slapped the side of the bed, and quickly
grimaced as Nick made a noise and rolled away from him, “Damn...” He said
softly as he watched Nick’s peaceful expression fade in his sleep.
“Aaron,
you don’t have to take the reigns of your family. You are too young.
You’ve done a wonderful job, and everyone respects you for it. But you
can relax now, you’ve got help.”
“Help?”
Aaron laughed humorlessly, “Help is what I could have used about a year ago...
Help is what I wanted a few months ago... Now I finally figured out if you want
something done, you can’t count on others. It’s good that you’re here
now, but I know I can never relax. As much as you feel like you are,
you’re not family. You have your own family... and they are your number
one priority, am I right? Your Mom or somebody needs you, and off you go.
I’m not bitter about that. I’m glad to know that’s a fact about you. You
stick to your family. I wish that was a fact about everyone...”
“What
are you saying Aaron? That you think I’ll eventually abandon Nick?”
“Again?
Yes. But it won’t be your fault Brian, something will happen in your life.
You just can’t shut off your whole entire existence because Nick’s going
through a rough patch in his life... you can’t worry about another family of
kids that aren’t yours just because their parents won’t, all the time.
Eventually you’re going to move away. It’ll take too long, Nick will need
too much, and you’ll realize you can’t do it. Well Brian, I may
realize one day that I can’t do it... but I’ll never quit trying. I’ll
always be there for my family, so you don’t have to worry about it. I’m
relieving you of ever having to feel like Nick Carter is a drag in your life.
You will never have to feel obligated to doing this or that for Nick when
you’d rather be out with Leighanne planning a wedding, or your mother wants to
have a family outing. Brian that’s your life and this is mine.”
Brian’s
mouth was scraping the carpet, “Now you wait just one damn minute Aaron...”
He paused as he thought about how he had just cursed at a twelve year
old. He didn’t really curse at all... But Aaron had pressed so many buttons in
his system it wasn’t even funny, “Nick is my little brother Aaron. Blood
does not have anything to do with it. If Nick needed it, and I was a
match, I’d give him my kidneys, both of them. That’s how much he means to
me. Maybe you’re mad about what happened on tour...”
“I’m
not. Everyone has life problems, you had yours... And what happens when you
have more Brian? Nick goes back on the shelf. I don’t want to get used to
your help, start relying on your help, and then one day when I really need it
it’s not there anymore cause you’re busy elsewhere. I need to be strong
on my own, and I am. I’m grateful for what you’re doing for my brother
now... but when push comes to shove... if he doesn’t snap out of this stage for
years... I know I’ll be the one still standing beside him, or in a grave. The
grave is the only thing that can stop me from standing by my brother, and my
sisters. I’ll fight that too.”
“Aaron,
you are 12 years old...”
“Well
nobody has seemed to care about that until now. Do you really think I’m
too young Brian?” Aaron’s eyes blazed with anger and shined with tears of pent
up frustration and anger, “ Was I too young to hold my sister by the knots of
her hair to keep her from drowning herself in the toilet as she puked her
guts up after having one drink too many? Was I too young to call a doctor
when Angel had an allergic reaction to a laxative she was forcing into her
body?”
“My
God Aaron, my God...” Brian whispered softly with tears in his eyes, he held
out his arms to the young blond who simply stared at him.
“I’m
beyond hugs Brian,” Aaron said flatly.
Brian
dropped his arms to his sides automatically, “Aaron, you’re a hero in your own
right. You’ve done so much for your family this past year. I am sorry I
was not there to know something was wrong with Nick, and to see what was
going on in your lives. I hate myself, because I know that if I had been there
this past year, things may not have been so bad. I know, because me
and the guys would have straightened Nick out, and Nick would be there to
help you do those things. Shield you from the things you shouldn’t have seen or
done... or called one of us to help when he shouldn’t see or do those things
either.”
“You
really think you are the reason our family got this screwed up. You really
think you’re that important to where if you turn your back once our lives would
fall apart?! I mean sure there’s no doubt in my mind that you could have helped
Nick... but you guys are not the Superfriends, ok? Don’t blame
yourselves!”
“Hey,
hey,” AJ entered the room abruptly, “I think Bob’s on his way.”
“Shit!”
Aaron cursed, “That dumb ass will ruin everything. Why can’t they both
just butt out. They’ve done enough.. Or rather not done enough. Is it just me
he wants? I’ll get my stuff back together and wait downstairs. We can
just leave, he’ll never even have to come in.” Aaron rose from the bed only to
be held back by Nick’s hand that was still clutching his. Aaron’s eyes
misted over, “After months of ignoring me, he’s finally letting me know that he
needs me. And now I gotta leave.”
“You
don’t have to go anywhere Aaron,” Kevin entered the room, “This is my house and
Bob Carter has no right to just burst in here. If I don’t want him to
come in, then he stays outside.”
“For
some reason I don’t think my Dad’s gonna let it be that easy for you Kev, I’m
gonna get my stuff.” Aaron carefully detangled his fingers from Nick’s.
Nick’s empty hand curled and fell onto the sheets. He clutched the sheets
and moaned softly. His eyes opened slightly and turned to gaze at his younger
brother, “I didn’t mean to wake you up Nicky.”
Nick
shook his head letting him know it was okay.
“I
have to go for a little while,” Aaron told him softly, “I have to take care of
some business.”
“Don’t
go,” Nick said softly, “I... I want you here.”
Aaron
blinked back a tear, “You know how long I wanted to hear you or BJ, or anyone
in the family say that to me?”
Nick’s
eyes watered, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t a very good older brother, was I? I
let you down...Please don’t go into that speech that I’ve heard a million times
telling me that I didn’t let you down, cause I know I did. I did.”
“Well
you’re trying to make up for it now,” Aaron said ruffling his brother’s limp
hair, “by trying to get better. Nicky you gotta eat, that’s the only way
you will get better, and the only way you can make it up to me.” Aaron
sat back down on the bed taking Nick’s hand again, “Will you do it for me, for
us?”
“I’ll...I’ll
throw up. I don’t wanna do it again...” Nick turned his face away.
“Nicky,
you gotta try. Maybe the next time you won’t,” Aaron said, “You have to try.
You wanna try now?”
Nick
kept his face turned and buried it in his pillow. “Nick,” Aaron shook Nick by
the shoulders, “Are you listening to me? You’re gonna die you idiot.
You’re going to kill yourself, and I freakin’ need you. What am I gonna
do if you die? Huh? You can’t do this to me, or to BJ, or Leslie, or
Angel! You gotta snap outta this bro.”
“What
if I were to tell you I no longer really care what happens to me Aaron?” Nick
said suddenly, “What if I were to say that I’ve had enough. I tried and it was
too much...”
“How
can you say that to me?” Aaron said with tears rolling down his face, “How the
hell can you lie there and say that to me?! I can’t freaking take care of this
family by myself. I thought you would help me... Everything’s falling apart!”
“Including
me Aaron! Who said I wanted to take care of the family.. The family pretty much
took care of itself! It’s dead... and that’s how I feel inside now.
I love you Aaron, and I love Beej and Leslie, and Angel... but I can’t
help you. I can’t help anyone, not even myself. What good am I?”
“Damn
you! You’re so damn selfish! You, you, you.... That’s all you think about. Who
cares what you don’t want. Think about what I want, what BJ wants...”
“THAT’S
WHAT GOT ME INTO THIS WHOLE DAMN MESS!! WORRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!” Nick
screamed sitting straight up. He rocked back and forth holding his knees tears
streaming down his cheeks, “I’m sick of thinking of others... They never
thought about me when I needed it. It’s too damn late to think about courtesy.”
“You
were getting better Nicky, you were!” Brian jumped into the argument, “Why are
you giving up now?”
“I’m
not giving up now, I gave up a long time ago. But you guys... you care so
much... that I feel bad for not trying to be what you want... But then I
remember how I got here, and it’s all because of what I’m trying to do now!
I can’t do it again! I can’t! I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Well
Nick, what do you want? Who do you want to be?” Kevin asked calmly.
Nick
was silent as Howie and BJ filed into the room making the group complete, “I
want nothing. I don’t want to be anyone... Not anymore. I just want... I
don’t know. But I don’t want this. I don’t want it!” He shook with
fatigue and sadness, he gagged and Howie went for the trashcan. He dry
heaved for a few minutes before falling back onto the pillows. His complexion
was terribly pale, the dark circles under his eyes looked painted on they were
so dark. He trembled and would not make eye contact with anyone.
“Nick,
ok...” AJ began calmly, “This is good. You’re talking to us. It was good that
you said all that, ok. Now we can...” the doorbell rang from downstairs.
“Now
who could that be?” BJ looked at the others who stared back at her with dread
in their eyes.
“Please
don’t let it be Bob,” Brian crossed his fingers, “Who’s gonna go check?”
“I
will,” Kevin said flatly, “after all it’s my house.” He turned to go out the
door and motioned for Aaron to sit back down, ‘I told you earlier you weren’t
going anywhere and I meant it AC. Sit down by your brother.” Kevin
left the room followed closely by Howie and Brian.
“I
can’t wait to get my hands on that filth,” Kevin was muttering as he took the
stairs two by two, “I’m gonna beat his ass.”
“Careful
Kev, you gotta save some for the rest of us,” Brian was saying trying to keep
up with his cousin. Kevin reached the door and looked through the peak
hole. His face of total confidence, anger, and some arrogance faded. He
paled considerably and stepped back from the door to open it.
“Kev?
What’s wrong? Who’s out there?” Howie questioned him.
But
instead of answering Kevin opened the door. Sure enough Bob Carter was
outside, but he wasn’t alone. Standing with him were two uniformed officers,
and one of them held a warrant.